Dean snickered. “At least I’m not the rebound guy.”
In a nanosecond, Butch went from holding me to lifting Dean up by his throat. The human was kicking his legs like crazy and struggling to get free.
I sighed. “Butch, put him down.”
Instead, Butch pulled him close so they were nose-to-nose. “Hear me loud and clear, little human, because I won’t repeat myself. You and Imani are done. Over. Accept it and move on, because I don’t give up what belongs to me. And I sure as shit won’t give up Imani.” He flung Dean away, making the human stumble and crash into the bar.
While Butch was distracted, I went to leave. I didn’t get far. Four steps later, he appeared in front of me. I hissed, “Move.”
His hands cupped my neck. “I fucked up again, I know. I’m sorry.”
By his tone, he seriously thought that was good enough. “Out of my way.”
“Imani.”
“When you’re ready to make a real apology, I’ll listen. Until then…” I hurried to my apartment in vampire speed. I’d just unlocked the door when I sensed Butch behind me. I whirled on him. “Did you not hear me just now?”
He backed me inside the apartment. “You know I have no respect for boundaries, and we clearly need to talk.”
I put my hands on my hips. “You’d better have something real good to say, Richardson, because the last thing I want to do tonight is punch you in the dick…but it is on my schedule.”
“Like I said, I fucked up. I can’t apologise for freaking out about you going into battle. It would be a lie, and that would insult both of us. But I am sorry that you’re hurting right now. I didn’t want that.”
As apologies went, it wasn’t the best I’d ever heard. But it was honest. “I’m a member of the legion, Butch. That means I’m going to be in dangerous situations again and again. You accepted that before. Why can’t you accept it now?” I might be partly human, but I was as strong and fast as a Sventé. Both Jude and Ava were Sventés.
For a moment, he said nothing. Just stood there, his expression almost tortured. “I didn’t keep you safe.” His words made me blink. “I’m a living shield, Imani, but I didn’t keep you safe. You got hurt right in front of me.”
I mentally kicked myself. I should have known that, protective as he was, he’d find some way to blame himself. “It all happened so fast, there was nothing you could have done.”
“The reason I didn’t freak out about you being on assignments in the past was that I was there with you; I was confident I could protect you.” A cynical, self-mocking smile surfaced on his face. “At the castle, I didn’t. Intellectually, I know it’s not my fault that you were hurt, and I know it’s pointless to feel guilty about it. I also know that I can’t lock you away where you’ll be safe, and that you’d be miserable if I tried.”
“So why get so wound up about this?”
“You don’t get it, Imani. A year. I was without you for almost a year. Just when I thought I had you back, I felt you slipping away. You don’t know how many times your heartrate slowed down during the transition. You don’t know how many times you passed out, so weak I didn’t think you’d wake up.”
His eyes glittered with an emotion I would never have associated with Butch. Fear. “It scared you.”
“Hell yes, it scared me.”
While that softened the blow of what he’d done, it didn’t make it okay. He had to understand that or he’d do it over and over. “That isn’t an excuse. I don’t expect you to always agree with my choices, but I expect you to respect my right to make them. Dictating to me, talking down to me like I don’t know myself, was not at all cool, Butch. If I had behaved that way toward you, if I’d showed you that kind of disrespect, you’d be just as pissed as I am now.”
He raked a hand through his hair. “I’m not good at this.” He looked so lost.
“Yeah, I already figured that out.” Although I was still mad, I knew I’d have to back down a little. Sam had told me he’d need the room to make mistakes; she’d warned me he’d be a difficult partner. I’d taken the risk, and that meant I had to make some allowances. “I understand that you want me safe. I’m glad that you care. But that doesn’t mean I’ll always bow to your wishes. That’s not how it works.”
He moved to me and brushed his thumb along my cheekbone. “I do respect you. I’m sorry if I made you feel like I didn’t.”
I gave a curt nod. “Okay.”
“I hate it when we argue.”
We’d only had two very minor arguments before now. “It’s going to happen sometimes. You’re an alpha, which makes you pushy and domineering. Neither of those things are much fun for me, even though I know you interfere because you’re trying to smooth the way for me and make my life better. I’m stubborn and independent, which means I’ll keep pushing back.”