His fingers traced my collarbone. “This isn’t a complicated situation for me, Imani. I have no doubts whatsoever about you. I’m sure that this is what I want. Just because I’m not very good at relationships doesn’t mean I’m scared of the commitment.”
“Okay, I was just checking.”
He spoke into my ear. “You know, sometimes I’d dream that you were with me. Then I’d wake up, and you weren’t there. And I’d remember that I let you go. I hated that. I don’t want to wake up and not find you right there again.”
Swallowing, I shook my head. “I really had no idea you were feeling this way. I’m sorry that you were hurting. And I’m sorry I didn’t see it. As your friend, I should have seen it.”
“It was my own fault. You offered me you, and I didn’t give you what you need.”
Well he’d given me what I needed over the past few nights. “It just occurred to me that I haven’t thanked you yet.”
“For what?”
“Staying with me. Taking care of me during the transition.”
He nipped my ear. “You don’t have to thank me. You’re mine. I’ll always take care of you.”
“Dude, you say some pretty nice things.” It wasn’t that he was attempting to be romantic, sensitive, and soppy. He was just being honest, and I loved that. “Did you even take a break while I was going through the transition?”
“Of course not.”
“Not even for a change of clothes?”
“Jared packed me a bag and brought it to me.” He kissed my hair. “It was hard to see you like that. Weak and in pain. You didn’t even know who I was most of the time. When you did recognise me, you kept asking me to make the pain stop. But I couldn’t, and I hated that. I couldn’t even hold you tight because your skin was so sensitive. Then you turned into a cat in heat, and I was worried I’d hurt you. But not fucking you seemed to hurt you more.”
I grimaced. “I wish you hadn’t seen me like that.”
“I’ve seen you in worse states than that.”
My frown deepened. “Oh yeah? When?”
“Like the time you and your squad were totally shitfaced and stripped down to your underwear to go for a swim in the ocean. You then fell asleep on the sand with seaweed in your hair—but not before putting a shell over each nipple.”
And, in my drunken state, I’d been convinced I looked like a mermaid. “You saw me?” Oh, the shame and horror.
“Who do you think carried you to your apartment?”
I blinked. “I thought I walked home but just didn’t remember.”
He snorted. “You couldn’t have lifted your head, let alone walked. You did mumble a few things, though, while I was carrying you.”
Something about his tone told me this was going to be embarrassing. “What did I say?”
“You started squirming, so I told you it was just me. You said that no one who’s as much of an asshole as me should be ‘so damn hot and so good with his hands.’”
Groaning, I closed my eyes. “Tell me you’re kidding.”
“I shit you not, baby,” he chuckled.
“You just left the other girls sprawled all over the sand?”
“They aren’t mine. You are.” He kissed my neck. “Onto other things…You haven’t told me how you’re feeling about Lena’s news. It can’t have been nice to hear.”
Total understatement. “It would be fair to say I’ve avoided even thinking much about the subject.”
“Then think about it now. Work it out in your head.”
“What do you want me to say? Am I worried? Yeah. Am I pissed? Yeah. Do I find it ironic that I was devastated at the thought of being human again when once upon a time it would have thrilled me? Yeah, I definitely do.” I shrugged. “But there’s no point in dwelling. As far as I’m concerned, I’m still a vampire. Just a vampire with an edge.”
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
(Imani)
Waking up alone, I did a long, languid stretch. I could hear Butch moving around my apartment, and I smiled. He wasn’t an early riser, but since I was a late riser he was often awake before me.
Slipping out of bed, I took inventory. The nausea had subsided and my head no longer hurt. Also, my body didn’t feel so heavy tonight. In fact, I felt refreshed. Invigorated.
How awesome.
I pulled on a long t-shirt and headed straight for the bathroom. While I was standing in front of the mirror, checking my irises for signs of any changes, Butch came up behind me. I met his gaze in the mirror and smiled. “Hey.”
“Hey, baby.” His bare chest pressed against my back as he curled his arms around me.
I snuggled into his warm hold. “There’s no change to my irises.”
“Lena said your body’s state was frozen again now.”
“I know, but she also said there are all kinds of symbols in my DNA that she doesn’t understand.”
He nuzzled my neck. “You don’t look so tired tonight. How do you feel?”
“Better.”
“Still queasy?”
I shook my head. “Nope. I feel fine. Really.”