I wasn’t sure I believed that, but I was glad that she did. I splayed my hand around her throat, feeling her pulse beat beneath my thumb. It made my mouth water. “Has anyone fed from you since me?” I didn’t like thinking of anyone else’s teeth sinking into her skin. We’d exchanged blood many times. I liked having something of her in me, just as I liked knowing there was a part of me inside her.
Her fingers curled around my wrist, but she didn’t pull my hand away. She also didn’t answer.
“The last person to feed from me was you,” I admitted. She didn’t look at all convinced. “You thought me a cold bastard who saw you as nothing but a good fuck I’d easily replace?”
She blinked. “I never thought of you as cold.”
Well, she’d be the only one.
“And I’m not a good fuck, I’m a great fuck. Let’s just be clear about that.”
My mouth curved. “Yes, you are.” She was the best I’d ever had. And I’d have her again. The wait would be torture. It would also be worth it.
“Why do you think you need to change?”
“I know myself, Imani. I know my strengths and I know my faults.”
“Everybody has faults.”
“But not everybody finds it easy to kill,” I pointed out.
“But you don’t kill for killing’s sake. You kill to protect our kind, to defend your squad, and to serve Sam and Jared. You don’t do it because it’s a way to get your jollies.”
“I’m no model soldier, baby.”
“But you’re not a monster either.”
I lifted a single brow. “Are you sure?”
“Yes. You’ve saved my ass a number of times.”
“That’s because it was you. I always protect what belongs to me.”
Her eyes narrowed. “I belong to me.”
“Wrong.” I shook my head. “Very, very wrong. Don’t try to fight this. There’s no point.”
She blew out a frustrated breath. “I find it too hard to accept that you’ve suddenly gone from wanting sex to wanting everything.”
“It wasn’t sudden, Imani. It happened over the course of almost a year. It just seems sudden to you because you didn’t know until recently.”
She was silent for a few moments. “You’re asking a lot from me.”
I tucked her hair behind her ear. “I know.” She’d be dumb not to be wary.
“I can’t give it to you.”
“You can.” And she would.
“I don’t know you well enough to give you everything.”
“Then we’ll fix that. But you might not like everything you hear.” But I wouldn’t lie to her. We couldn’t build something that was based on untruths.
“You’re saying you’ll share stuff?”
I couldn’t blame her for sounding dubious, since I’d dodged every personal question she’d ever asked me in the past. “If that’s what you need.”
“I have a lot of questions,” she warned me. “You don’t like questions.”
“I like being without you even less. So I’ll give you what answers you want, but I won’t give them to you all at once.”
“Why?”
“You’re incredibly curious; you like puzzles. If I drip feed you the things you need to know, you’ll be more likely to come back to me again and again.”
She scowled, but there was a glint of humour in her eyes. “You don’t think that’s a little devious?”
“I think it’s extremely devious.” But I’d do it. Besides, only a dumbass would lay out his dirty laundry in the early stages of a relationship. Only once he was sure that she was happy and as attached to him as possible did he dump it all on her. Otherwise, he’d risk losing her. There was no way I’d risk losing Imani. I’d done it before, and I wasn’t keen on doing it again.
“Will you answer me one question now?”
Liking her curiosity, I said, “Ask.”
“You said you don’t do ‘more.’ I always wondered if that was because you tried it and it was so bad that you didn’t want to try again. Have you ever been in a relationship before?”
“Yes. Twice. Both relationships fucked up because, like I told you, I’m not good for people.”
“Or maybe they weren’t good for you. Two people can be good but be absolutely shit when together.”
“True,” I allowed.
“Were they both human relationships?”
I tutted. “That was another question. We agreed on one. But…I’m willing to bargain.”
Suspiciousness flickered across her face. “Yeah?”
“I’ll answer your question”—I tapped her lower lip—“if you give me a little taste of this mouth.”
She swallowed. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”
It was a fucking great idea. I pressed a kiss to the side of her neck, inhaling her tantalising scent. “I just want one little taste of what’s mine. A kiss, nothing more.”
“Butch—”
“You know how good it will feel.”
“You really think you can just walk out after a single kiss, without pushing for more?”
“I give you my word that I won’t push.” Even though all I wanted was to strip her naked and feast on her. It took extreme effort to shove that thought from my mind. “One taste and I’ll stop, I promise.”