His brows popped up. “Would she now?”
“Yes. And not because she’s a threat, but she’s a venomous woman and I’m sure she’s not the only person bringing your pack down. I also won’t allow any woman who has known you intimately to live under the same roof. It would be disrespectful. You must consider these things if you want to pursue me. This would not only be a dramatic change in your life, but also for your pack.”
“Sweet little Ivy would rule with an iron fist.”
“No, just a silver cane.”
He laughed and it was full-bodied, making me want to curl up closer beside him. Lorenzo had a strong chest, so warm and protective. I took in his smell, touched his soft hair, and then closed my eyes when he pulled me tighter. Some of the windows were fogged and his heart was still racing.
After a deep breath, he placed a tender kiss on my forehead. “I don’t think either of us can make any promises until we return home. This trip could change your life.”
“It could also change yours.”
He paused thoughtfully. “Would you like to let your wolf run? I can find a stretch of land.”
“No. I can’t delay this visit any longer. I need to see Lakota.”
***
Lorenzo drove straight to Cognito without a wink of sleep. We stopped several times to stretch our legs and get something to eat, and by the time we arrived, he needed rest. I also needed to get my head together, as I was anxious about what might happen. Would they let me see him? I still hadn’t decided if I thought it was a good idea to tell Lakota who I was. All I wanted was to kiss him just once, to tell my sweet little man how proud I was.
The heavy drapes in our hotel room blocked out the sun, but daylight still intruded through the crevices. I didn’t like how quiet the room felt—how sterile. It made me homesick for my pack.
“Come lie beside me,” Lorenzo said, wearily patting his hand on the bedspread.
I kicked off my shoes and crawled onto the bed, curling up along his right side.
“What are you thinking about?” he asked, his eyes closing.
Tears escaped through my lashes and trickled onto his bare chest. “I miss the life I could have had. Sometimes I wonder how that girl would have done raising a child when she was only a child herself. I would have loved him, but I don’t think he would have been happy living in my father’s pack. Austin wouldn’t have taken me in with a child, so maybe things worked out for the best.”
“Hmm,” was all he replied.
“In quiet moments, I sometimes think about what it would have been like to be a mother. I dream about reading him stories before bedtime and wiping away tears when he’s skinned his knee. That must seem trivial to you.”
“It’s not too late. You’re his mother, and you can take him home.”
Part of that idea nestled in my heart and flooded my mind with an entire lifetime of future memories. His first girlfriend. His first car. Seeing his adolescent face smiling as he ran out the door and shifted into his wolf.
“I know what I want, but I struggle with doing what’s right. I haven’t figured that part out yet. I need to see him. I need to speak with his parents.”
Lorenzo’s eyes were closed when I looked up, but he wasn’t asleep. His right hand diligently worked to unravel my braid behind my back.
“How come you don’t have children?” I asked him. “You have an established pack, money, and all the things a Packmaster secures before he starts a family.”
His chest rose with a deep breath and then he sighed. “That requires a mate.”
I lifted my head and rested my chin on his chest, touching his face with my fingers. “Have you ever been in love?”
Lorenzo shook his head.
“Me either.”
His lashes slowly pried apart so I could see his dark eyes glittering down at me.
Then I felt his heart pounding against his chest, and I moved my palm over it. “Someday this heart will beat for someone other than yourself. It might even hurt, but you’ll do anything to keep them safe. That’s how I feel with Lakota. I sometimes wonder how I could possibly have room to love someone else when my whole heart belongs to him.”
He swallowed thickly. “And what have you decided?”
A smile touched my lips. “That the heart isn’t comparable to the driver’s seat of a car, where only one person steers it. Maybe it’s more like a house, and letting people in won’t require someone else to leave. Shared space, different kinds of love… I don’t know. That’s a terrible analogy.”
He touched my cheek with a soft stroke. “You’re the most remarkable woman I’ve ever met, and I’m not a man of soft words.”