We went into the small room that April often used to read, adjacent to the living room.
Izzy closed the door, and her voice fell to a whisper as she gripped my arm. “When are you going to tell them?”
“Tell them what?”
Her eyes widened, and she placed her palm on my stomach. “About the baby.”
I quietly gasped and drew back. How did she know? I knew because I’d had a child once before, and a woman never forgets the feeling of early motherhood. It had begun a week ago. While I’d been blessed with an unexpected gift, I feared what the pack’s stance would be. All those old memories of my first pregnancy resurfaced—locked away like a shameful secret and the harsh looks from my father. What would Austin think? Not just one, but two children, each with different fathers.
“Please don’t speak of this, Izzy. I haven’t decided how to tell everyone.”
She flipped back her red hair and put her hands on her hips. “You march in there and say you’re pregnant, that’s what you do. Hell’s bells, Ivy. You can’t keep this to yourself for long. I noticed little signs that tipped me off, but it won’t take long before the male wolves are able to scent it and their animals start having instincts to shift and protect you. Then they’re going to question why the hell their wolves are acting so funny every time you walk into a room. Oh, wowzer. Was this by choice?”
Keeping my voice to a low whisper, I leaned on my right shoulder. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me, Izzy. Neither time was I in heat, and you know how rare that is.”
She blew out a breath and rubbed her shoulders, which were beginning to hunch. “What do you plan to do with it?”
“Keep it, of course! This baby was meant for me, and I’m not letting him or her go. But how will Austin take the news? I know you didn’t grow up in a pack, but this is a serious matter, Izzy. It puts too much negative perception on the Packmaster, and it’s not his fault. He has nothing to do with it, but he’ll be the one to carry that burden and any ridicule that comes from his peers.”
“Austin’s a good man, and he’ll stand behind you.”
I touched the end of my braid and looked down. “Maybe it’s better if I go.”
“On your own? You can’t be a lone wolf with a baby.”
I placed my hands over my stomach. “I just wish I could have one pregnancy that was joyous. You don’t know how much I envy what you and Jericho have—the way he loves the life growing inside you and the way others treat you. I’ve never had that luxury.”
She rubbed my arm consolingly. “I’m so sorry, Ivy. Whatever you decide to do, I’ll support you. Did you tell Lorenzo?”
“No,” I whispered harshly. “He would never want this child. I haven’t heard from him since he dropped me off two weeks ago, and that speaks volumes as to how he really feels. I don’t hate him for it. I…”
Izzy brushed a loose strand of hair away from my face. “You love him, don’t you?”
Just hearing the words on her tongue made my heart leap and ache all at once. I’d never felt more connected to a man than I did to Lorenzo, as if an invisible thread had untangled from his soul and stitched itself to mine. Somehow it made me feel weak and doubtful, and I began comparing myself to others. I needed to stamp out that foolish voice in my head; I had a new life growing inside me, and this child didn’t deserve a weak mother.
“I love him enough that it hurts to let go of the possibility of what I want to happen between us. Lorenzo Church is not a man who gives his heart to anyone. I know he has one because I’ve seen it. Maybe he’s afraid if it breaks, it’ll somehow mean he’s a lesser man. No woman deserves to have a man love her only halfway.”
“You have to tell everyone, Ivy. I’m too excited for you, and I don’t think I’ll be able to keep it a secret. You’re having a baby!”
She hugged me tight, and for the first time, excitement rushed through me. I suddenly wanted to dance through the house and be just as open as Izzy was about her pregnancy.
I held her at arm’s length. “You’re right. I don’t want this baby to ever think that I was ashamed of him coming into this world.”
“Now?” she said, as if startled by my sudden change of heart. “Maybe we should do this at dinner when we’re all at the table. Not everyone is here, and Reno probably took off already with April.”
“Then they’ll hear the wonderful news later. I need to know where they stand so I can make plans.”
She swallowed me up with her green eyes, fidgeting with the diamond ring on her finger. “Are you sure about this?”
I gripped the doorknob and swung the door open. “I need everyone in the living room,” I announced in a clear voice.