“I asked you a question.” Quick as that, his voice turned hard.
The tone was new. Her body stilled, while her mind spun. Intrigue kept her gaze fixed on him. So many times she’d tried to push him and make him lose control. Make him stop treating her like glass. Should she try now? “I heard your question.”
“I need you to answer it. To help me.” His inflection remained the same, but an odd vulnerability darkened his eyes. “I have to know what happened.”
For the briefest of seconds, and for the very first time, she saw the boy he might’ve been before turning into a soldier. Her heart warmed while her shoulders relaxed. No way could she turn away from the plea. “You kissed me good-bye in the morning, said you loved me, and that you’d be back.” After the most passionate night of their marriage, one she wasn’t ready to remind him about yet. “You didn’t come back.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know.” Even now, the words hurt. How many times had she lain awake at night, alone, asking herself that very question? Why hadn’t he returned? Had he even thought about her? She’d relived their last week together in her head repeatedly. “The last week—it was bad.”
He stiffened. “Bad? How?”
She exhaled. “You were off. Really sad. A week before you left, you found out one of your brothers had died. Your brother, Jory.”
“Jory.” Shane frowned, rubbing his chest. “How did he die?”
“I don’t know.” Anger returned in a flash. “Until that week, I didn’t even know you had brothers.” She struggled to stay seated and not jump away from him. He’d had a whole life, a family, he hadn’t shared with her. “Why do you think you’re here now after two years?”
“You said you sent the divorce papers to my base. I assume I got them and came up to discuss the issue.” His shoulders straightened at the last.
Was he going to fight her on the divorce? Dread pooled in her stomach. “Then where are the papers?”
“I don’t know.” He took a deep drink of soda. “You’re a great cook, Josie.”
Pleasure bloomed inside her chest. She’d learned to cook during college… hoping to have a family to nurture someday like the moms on television did. Sadness shoved the pleasure away. It hadn’t happened. “Thanks.”
His eyes narrowed. “Are you a chef?”
“No.” Memories flooded in. She’d almost taken the risk and changed her accounting major to cooking during her second year at Cal State. But she hadn’t had the courage. Plus, she could control numbers. Organization and hard work counted. She’d never need to rely on one person or an entire system again. “I’m an accountant.”
Surprise lifted his eyebrows. “That explains the sexy suit.”
Sexy? Not even close. She kicked off the high heels, rubbing her feet on the smooth tiled floor. She’d paid for the tiles with her second paycheck from her new job at the accounting firm’s local branch. It had taken an entire weekend of searching for just the right color, a homey beige. “Accounting is safe.”
“Ah.” Understanding echoed in his low tone. “Safety is important to you. Interesting.” He rubbed his chin. “Something tells me I’m not so safe.”
“No.” She smiled, even as sadness made her chest ache. “You were the only risk I ever took. It backfired.”
“I’m sorry.”
She shrugged. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
He studied her, no expression on his hard face. “Okay. You said I have brothers. Plural. Besides Jory, what do you know?”
“Nothing about your brothers.” She didn’t want to have this conversation. She’d failed as a wife, or she’d know more about him. “But you do have nightmares. At least you used to.”
He stilled. “What about?”
Anger flashed through her. “I don’t know. You wouldn’t tell me.” She tossed her napkin atop her plate of half-eaten food. “Even before you woke up one night screaming Jory’s name, bad dreams made you a very restless sleeper.” She lowered her gaze to her fingers picking at pumpkins on the napkin. “That night, you sounded so broken. I’d never heard you sound like that.” A chill skittered across her shoulders. She’d wanted so badly to shield him, to help him. He wouldn’t let her.
“I’m sorry.” The hoarseness of his voice wrapped around her heart. “You shouldn’t have to deal with something like that.”
She coughed out irritation. “You should be sorry. Not for exposing me but for shutting me out.” For one second, when he’d almost kissed her senseless, she’d thought he’d changed. That he could see the real her. The woman who could be his match.
He pushed back from the table. “You’re beautiful, Josie. Soft and delicate. You should be protected.”
Ah. There was the rub. She shook her head. “You don’t know me, Shane. You never did.”