chapter FORTY-FOUR
• GRACE •
I had thought that the sheer fact of me would be enough for Rachel. The fact that I was living and breathing seemed like a pretty powerful recommendation for Sam’s innocence, but when it came down to it, Rachel was still uncertain. It took several minutes to coax her into the car, even after she had seen me in it.
“Just because you have Grace doesn’t mean that I’m sure about this,” Rachel said, peering at the open back door with a dubious expression. “For all I know, you’ve been giving her psychedelic mushrooms in your basement and you’d like to do the same thing to me.”
Sam glanced back at the school, his light eyes narrowed against the warm sun. He was probably thinking the same thing as me: Namely, that most everyone in Mercy Falls mistrusted him, and if someone noticed him standing at the back of a parking lot with an uncertain-looking girl, things could get unpleasant. He said, “I’m not exactly sure how to counteract that allegation.”
“Rachel, I am not drugged,” I said. “Just get in the car.”
Rachel frowned at me and then looked back to Sam. “Not until you tell me why you want to stay hidden.”
“It’s sort of a long story.”
Rachel crossed her arms. “Summarize.”
“It really, really ought to be explained.”
Rachel didn’t move. “Summarize.”
I sighed. “Rachel, I keep turning into a wolf. Don’t freak out.”
She waited for me to say something else, for it to make sense. But there wasn’t any way to make it easy for her, not when I had to summarize.
“Why would I freak out?” Rachel asked. “Just because you’re a crazy person saying crazy things? Of course you turn into a wolf. And I also turn into a zebra. Check out the stripes, they’re a leftover.”
“Rachel,” Sam said gently, “I promise it makes a lot more sense when it’s explained. If you give Grace a chance to — someplace private — it will still be weird, but not impossible.”
Rachel looked at him, aghast, and then back at me. “Sorry, Grace. But I just don’t think it sounds like the greatest idea to let him drive me back to his lair.” She held out her hand to Sam, who looked at it as if it might be a weapon. Wiggling her fingers, she added, “Let me drive.”
“Drive … to my house?” Sam asked.
Rachel nodded.
Sam looked a little flustered, but to his credit, his voice didn’t change. “How is that any different than if I drive us there?”
“I don’t know! It will make me feel better.” Her hand was still out for the key. “In the movies, no one drives themselves to their own deaths.”
Sam looked at me. His face said, Grace, help!
“Rachel,” I said firmly. “Do you even know how to drive a stick shift?”
“No,” Rachel said. “But I’m a fast learner.”
I gave her a look. “Rachel.”
“Grace, you have to admit this is pretty weird. Say it. You disappearing from the hospital and Olivia is — and Sam suddenly shows up with you and, well, the freaky hallucinogenic mushrooms are looking more and more realistic, especially when you start talking about wolves. Because next step is for Isabel Culpeper to show up saying that everybody’s going to be abducted by aliens and I have to tell you, I can’t take that in my fragile emotional state. I think that —”
I sighed. “Rachel.”
“Fine,” she said. She threw her bag in the backseat and climbed in after.
As we headed toward Beck’s house, Sam in the driver’s seat, me beside him, Rachel in the backseat, I felt suddenly and inexplicably homesick, somehow frantic with the thought of my lost life. I couldn’t think what I was so desperately missing — surely not my parents, who hadn’t been around enough to be missed — until I realized that the emotion was being triggered by the wildly sweet strawberry scent of Rachel’s shampoo. And that I missed. Afternoons and evenings with Rachel, holed up in her room or taking over my parents’ kitchen or following Olivia on one of her photography treks. I wasn’t homesick, not really, because that required a home. I was personsick. Lifesick.
I turned to the backseat and stretched out my hand to Rachel, my fingers not quite long enough to reach her. She didn’t say anything, just took my hand and clutched it tightly. We rode like that for the rest of the trip, me half-twisted and her leaning forward a little, our hands resting on the back of my seat. Sam didn’t say anything, either, except for Oh, sorry when he shifted gears too soon and the car shuddered a bit.
Later, when we got back to the house, I told her everything, the whole story, from the moment the wolves dragged me from the swing to the day I’d almost died in my own blood. And everything in between. Sam looked more nervous than I’d ever seen him, but I wasn’t worried. From the moment that I held Rachel’s hand in the car, I’d known that in this strange new life, Rachel was one of the things I was going to get to keep.