A slow smile spread over the boy’s face. “Then he’s a hero, too.”
I nodded. “Without him, Queen Kettricken would never have reached the Mountains alive. And I would have died of an arrow wound before ever we went on our quest to seek King Verity. So, yes, he is a hero, too.” I glanced over at the Fool. His face was very still, his fingers perched on the table’s edge.
“She left out a lot.”
“She did.”
“Why?”
Before I could respond, the Fool intervened. “Perhaps someday you should ask her that.” I did not miss the lilt of amusement in his voice as he imagined such an encounter.
“I have to go.” A thought came to me and I dared it. “Fool, you should dress and come with me. I think you are strong enough to manage it, at least for an hour or so.”
“No.” His response was swift and strong.
I regretted my words instantly. The old light that had shone so briefly in his face, his pleasure in helping me and telling Ash stories, had vanished as if it had never been. The fear was back and he cringed back in his chair. I looked at him and wondered how he had ever managed to muster his courage to travel so far to find me, alone, hurt, and blind. Had he expended the last of his spirit to do so, and would he never recover to be once more the Fool I had known?
“You don’t have to,” I said quietly.
He spoke swiftly, his words tumbling out. “I’m still in danger, Fitz. I know you think I’m foolish. I know you can’t possibly believe that here, in Buckkeep Castle, they could not only come after me but take me back. But they could. I know this as clearly as I know … as I know that you are my friend. There are very few things I know anymore, Fitz. Few things I am certain about, but you are one of them. And the other is that the danger to me is real.” His voice had become softer and softer as he spoke. On his last words, he folded his hands and looked down at them as if he could see them. Folded, they no longer resembled hands. There were knots of white and lumps of red and speckles of scars. I looked away from them.
“I’ll stay with him, sir,” Ash said quietly. I hadn’t asked him to, and wouldn’t have thought of it, but the moment he volunteered, I was grateful.
“I know you have to go,” the Fool said. Quiet desperation was in his voice.
“I do.” I’d felt several nudges from Chade, and Nettle was now pressing against my thoughts. It was important that I appear. Dutiful and Elliania were delaying their entrance until I could walk in with them. Much longer and it would appear that we slighted our nobles.
I’m coming now, I Skilled back to them and then closed my thoughts to them. “I’ll be back as soon as I can,” I assured the Fool, and “Soon!” the crow echoed. She hopped closer to the Fool and tilted her head.
“Motley’s worried about you,” Ash said as gently as if he were coaxing a child. “She’s trying to look into your face.”
I did not think it would work. I was not sure what I felt as the Fool’s clenched hands slowly opened. He beckoned to the bird and she hopped closer. “Here’s a bit of bread for her,” Ash whispered, and dropped a torn crust into the Fool’s hand. He closed his fingers on it, forcing the bird to stand near and take it in chunks as he held it.
“Soon,” I promised the Fool, and rose and left the table. I was halfway down the steps when Ash caught up with me.
“Sir, sir,” he called in a carrying whisper. “Let me adjust your collar.” But when he was closer to me, he spoke other words by my ear, for me alone to hear. “He is not as strong as he tries to show himself to you. Earlier today, I found him on the floor near the hearth, trying to rise. It was hard for him to make himself take my hand. Harder for him to endure the pain as I helped him back to his feet. You see him walk, and he can rise from a bedside or a chair. But once on the floor, he could not lift himself.” And again in his whisper, he added, “There, that’s much better.”
“Thank you,” I told him, letting my voice carry as he did. I caught his hand and gripped it briefly; I knew he understood my unvoiced gratitude. Hard news for me to hear, and harder to know that my friend concealed his infirmity from me. I went the rest of the way down the stairs to my old room with a heavy heart.
No sooner had I closed the hidden door behind me than I heard a forceful rap at the chamber door. “A moment,” I called, and Riddle spoke through the door, saying, “That’s a moment more than I’m to give you.” As I opened the door, he told me, “I’ve been sent to fetch you and bring you down to dinner regardless of objections or appearance. But actually, I think you’ve done very well with yourself.”