That long, cold day faded slowly.
The lone surviving Chalcedean died quickly. I tried to ask him about Bee, but he only shook his head and groaned. Any information the others knew had been lost with their lives.
I stood, shaking my head. The commander of the Ringhill Guard, one Spurman, was already giving his men orders to gather the bodies. Foxglove rode over to me. Her face was full of hope as she dismounted. “No,” I said softly to her unspoken question. “She was here and so was Shine. But the Chalcedeans and the captives fought a day or more ago. Bee and Shine fled when the Chalcedeans turned on one another. They are at least a day gone, perhaps two. Where they are now, no one seems to know.”
“I’ll organize a search,” she replied calmly. “They can’t have gone far. Fitz, we’ll find them.”
“So we all hope.” I lifted my voice as I turned to my guard. “Captain Foxglove will be conducting a search for escaped Chalcedeans. Watch for any of their captives or any stragglers.” I turned a firm gaze on my Rousters, where they had assembled in a rough formation separate from my guard. “Alive,” I cautioned them. “Any pale rider in white furs, any captive of theirs, or any Chalcedean mercenary you find, take them alive.”
Foxglove was shaking her head. “Not likely. We’ve seen two bodies in white furs. Both looked as if they’d cut their own throats. Probably rather than be taken by the Chalcedeans. We ambushed some Chalcedeans on their way to the ship. And chased what remained of them back here.”
“Do what you can, then,” I said quietly.
I left Foxglove to organize the search while I returned to the tent where Bee and Shine had slept. A more leisurely inspection of it turned up nothing that I connected to either of them. A very pale Lant had followed me there. He stared at the corner where they’d slept.
“How do you know they were here?” he asked me as Riddle came into the tent.
I picked up a blanket and tossed it to him. “Shine’s perfume lingers on some of the bedding. It’s not strong, but it’s there.”
He nodded slowly, and held the blanket to his breast. Slowly he turned and left the tent, still clutching it. “He shouldn’t be here,” Riddle said to me in a low voice.
“On that, we agree.”
“I mean that he’s injured. And heartsick. Not that he’s incompetent.”
I kept silent.
“You’re too hard on him, Fitz. He can’t help who he is, or what he isn’t. I, for one, am glad for what he isn’t. And I was very glad of his sword a short time ago. Nettle was nearly a widow before she was a mother.”
“I don’t dislike him,” I said, and wondered if that were true. “He’s just not the sort of man I need backing me right now.”
“Nor am I, then, I suppose.”
I stared at him. He turned and left the tent. I followed. In the thin winter sunlight, he stretched and then turned to look back at me. “You drugged us and left us. Like discarded baggage. I understand the other two. Per is just a boy yet, and Lant is injured. But why me?”
“I couldn’t get them to drink it without your sharing it, too.”
He looked away from me. “No, Fitz. I can think of a dozen ways around that, from joggling my arm when I started to drink to telling me what you were doing.”
It was hard to admit the truth. “I didn’t want any of you to witness what I might have to do. I didn’t want you to see me as … what I truly am. What I had to be today.” I glanced toward where Hogen’s body had been. Foxglove was there, ordering it dragged away by the Ringhill Guard to join the other bodies piled for burning. I wondered if anyone would notice how I’d mutilated him.
“I think I know who you are.”
I met his gaze and gave him honesty. “Probably you do. I’m still not proud to have you see it. Let alone watch me do it.” I looked away from him. “I’d rather that my daughter’s husband, the father of my grandchild, not be a party to things like this.”
He looked at me.
I tried to explain. “Once you are a father, you have to try to be a better man than you truly are.”
He stared. Then he laughed. “Me especially?”
“No. No, not you. I meant myself. That I tried.”
He clapped me on the shoulder. “The carris seed is catching up with you, Fitz. But I do know what you mean.”
“How did you know?”
“Your breath reeks of it.”
“I needed it,” I excused myself.
“So. Share with me now. And let’s get started on our own search. If you were Bee and Shine and able to flee, where would you go?”
“I’d probably backtrack to that town, assuming they passed through it.” I passed him the folded paper that had held the carris seed. He shook the few remaining seeds into his palm then clapped them to his mouth. He chewed.