Hawthorne peered nervously around the screen and let out a groan at the sight of me.
‘Oh, what do you know?’ I said to Hawthorne as I turned on the spot. R?ven clicked her beak in approval.
‘But what shall we do with zat ‘air of yours?’
‘I think its fine,’ I said, noticing Maria’s perfect blonde curls.
‘When was zee last time you brushed eet?’ Maria asked.
‘Oh, I’m not sure,’ I said. Honestly, I didn’t own a brush, but Maria might have a heart attack if I told her that.
‘Ugh and your nails,’ she said, grabbing my hand and inspecting them. ‘We will need to fix zem.’
I snatched my hand back and looked at my nails. They were all chewed as far as they could go. I was a nail-biter. Maria’s hands were perfectly manicured.
I felt worse and worse every second. Maria forced a brush through my hair, which brought tears to my eyes. She then fixed it into an elegant bun.
‘Is this really necessary?’ I asked as a blue bow was put in my hair.
‘Of course!’ Maria exclaimed. ‘You must be presentable. You are such a pretty girl, too. Eet is a shame.’
I bit down on my tongue. It would be rude to snap when Maria was doing me a favour. Next, she brought out a pair of tweezers.
‘What are they for?’ I demanded.
‘Your eyebrows,’ she said, holding up the tweezers, an innocent expression on her face. ‘Zey are much too thick.’
‘Oh, come on,’ I said. ‘That is going too far.’
Maria folded her arms and pursed her lips. ‘What ‘arm will eet do?’
I sighed. ‘All right, all right. Just do it.’
I spent the next half an hour being tweezed, prodded, poked and painted. Maria sprayed me with various perfumes, waxed my legs and underarms and then lathered me in makeup. When she was finished, I didn’t want to look at myself. The perfume made Hawthorne sneeze.
I was very grateful, but would have been much more comfortable in my regular dress and shoes. I was currently wearing a pair of high-cut embroidered boots that were a little bit too large. They were extremely feminine and had a high heel. I practiced walking in them and almost rolled my ankle twice.
‘Jack will ‘ave to ‘old you up,’ Maria tutted.
‘I can barely move in these shoes and this corset,’ I whined.
‘Eet is fashionable!’ Maria reassured me.
‘Is it fashionable to suffocate?’ I said, rubbing my ribs, which were being crushed by the bones.
Maria ignored me, so I held up my arms and turned to Hawthorne.
‘Well?’ I asked him. ‘How do I look?’
Hawthorne stared blankly back at me.
‘Fine,’ I turned to R?ven. ‘What do you think?’
R?ven hopped down from the vanity-screen and morphed into her Mage-self. Of course, I would never be as beautiful as R?ven. She was otherworldly.
R?ven pursed her lips. ‘You are missing something.’
I looked down at myself, but wasn’t quite sure what else there could be. I had undergone every feminine ritual known to Mage-kind.
‘Oh, I know!’ Maria exclaimed, rushing out of the room.
I gave R?ven a puzzled look before Maria came bustling back and fixed something around my neck.
I looked down and touched the pendant that rested on my bosom.
‘Eet is sapphire,’ Maria said fondly. ‘Eet matches your eyes.’
I smiled. ‘Thank you. The other guests might actually believe that I am a lady.’
I hadn’t yet seen myself and didn’t really want to.
Maria smiled warmly. ‘Now, let’s show Jack my creation.’
Staggering down Maria’s hallway, with R?ven and Hawthorne following in my shadow, I walked into the sitting room. I dreaded Jack’s reaction and sorely regretted laughing at his outfit earlier.
Maria led me through the doorway and I caught a glimpse of everyone in the room as I entered. They were all sitting on comfy lounges around a coffee table, chatting amongst themselves. Maria cleared her throat and everyone looked up.
Upon seeing me, Penny gasped and clapped her hands to her mouth. ‘You look great!’ she said.
Tom looked mildly surprised.
Robert grinned broadly and nodded. ‘Fits perfectly.’
But it was Jack’s reaction I sought. My eyes locked with his as he stood up from the sofa and removed the tweed cap from his head.
‘Well?’ I said. ‘Aren’t you going to laugh?’
Jack looked me up and down, smirking. ‘No.’
Maria clapped her hands together. ‘You had better be going! Zee party began ten minutes ago! Take zis.’ She thrust earplugs into my hands. ‘For when zee bird sings.’
I opened the handbag that Maria had leant me. ‘Uh, in you go, I guess.’ I said to Penny and Tom.
It was a strange sight. Penny took the bag from me and placed it on the floor before her and Tom. They put their feet inside the bag and began to shrink before my eyes, until I could not see them at all. I peered inside the handbag to see a tiny Penny and Tom waving up at me. They were mere inches in height. I couldn’t help but laugh at the absurdity.