For the rest of the day, Taryn kept herself thoroughly occupied. She called Shaya. She went shopping with Grace for groceries. She did a run around the border of pack territory. She showered. She did some laundry. She beat Trick’s ass at Mario Kart. Hell, she even watched a T.V. program about knitting with Greta during which they engaged in a battle of wills. Anything so that she didn’t have to think about Trey or what he’d said or, more importantly, the fact that she…cared about him. She wouldn’t say the L word. It was officially banned from her vocabulary.
She had tried real hard throughout the evening meal to appear normal, but she was pretty sure that no one had bought it because the guys had crowded around her supportively while shooting scowls at Trey. Still she had persisted with the act. When Trey had spoken to her, she had talked to him and when he had pulled her onto his lap, she had let him. There had been a sort of desperation in the way he held her so tightly yet gently. Like the way a person would try to hold a butterfly – careful because it was small and delicate but on-guard because it was flighty. None of his touches were seductive or teasing. All were soft and soothing, kind of apologetic. But it didn’t ease her hurt or make her relax. How could she be relaxed by the touch of a guy she…cared for when to him she could be anyone?
After the meal Taryn had done as she usually did – she lay down on what was, hands down, the most comfortable sofa in the world to watch some T.V. When it had reached the time when she normally went to bed, she hadn’t been able to move.
Maybe it was dumb that she had originally thought that if she just had a little time physically away from him she could somehow build some mental walls that would freeze him out again. Could freeze out the pain. But even as she lay there reminding herself that none of this was real, that Trey wasn’t important, that soon her part of the deal would be over, another part of her was considering just flipping him the finger and leaving. She wasn’t sure she could bear being around him every day knowing he thought so little of her.
Then she took in the wolves in the room and realized that she couldn’t run. This whole thing was about more than just Trey. They didn’t deserve to suffer just because of one asshole. She had always dealt with assholes. What was one more to throw into the mix? He wouldn’t even be the first asshole who she cared about who felt nothing for her.
Still, even though the constricting sensation around her chest seemed to ease, she knew there was no way she could lay beside him tonight knowing that he would snuggle into her and then try to bring her to orgasm as she woke. Not tonight. Tonight was a night for rebuilding her walls, and to do that she needed distance. So instead of saying her goodnights and making her way to bed, she let her eyes drift shut and took comfort in the scents and voices around her until they lulled her to sleep.
It should have sent him into threatening mode to have other males giving him looks that warned him away from his mate. His mate. But Trey honestly didn’t blame them for the way they were crowding Taryn’s sleeping form and regarding him like he was a threat. He’d fucked up. Just like Dante had said. Whether he’d meant for Taryn to hear those cruel words or not, he had hurt her and there was now a gulf a mile wide between them and he didn’t know how to close it.
She was now uneasy around him again and emotionally wary of him, both of which were like a blow to his system. He wanted her to know that he was sorry, that he hadn’t meant what he had said, that he would never purposely hurt her, but each time he had tried to get her alone she had managed to slip away. She was freezing him out again. It burned even more this time than it had the first time. His wolf had also sensed her withdrawal as well as her pain and both ate at him.
As Trey stared down at her he promised both himself and his wolf that he would fix this. He refused to believe what Dante had said – that he might have broken something that couldn’t be mended. No, he refused to believe that. He couldn’t accept that. Because feeling the sting of her withdrawal had given him a taste of what it would be like to be without her, and although Trey still wasn’t sure about those chest pangs or the emotions that tormented him or the extreme sense of possessiveness, he now knew that he couldn’t be without her.
Despite his low ‘move out of my way’ growl, none of the males moved even an inch from their positions. Tao, Trick, Dominic and Ryan remained sitting on the floor with their backs against the sofa while Dante was sitting on it with her feet on his lap and Marcus was beside her head stroking her hair. Trey had to admire their loyalty to their Alpha Female, and it was a good thing considering that she wasn’t going anywhere, but no one kept him from his mate. His wolf was in full agreement with him on that.
He released another menacing growl, letting his eyes flash wolf. Reluctantly the males on the floor shuffled along to make room for him. Trey bent and gently scooped her up to cradle her against his chest. She fussed a little in her sleep but didn’t wake. He held her tighter against him, stilling her movements, and strode out of the room through the tunnels.
In the bedroom he placed her gently on the bed and then carefully he removed her clothes. Once he’d removed his own he slid under the covers and held her possessively to him, wanting his skin against hers. As she always did, she wriggled a little until she found that groove that seemed to have been made just for her. Then instantly she settled and her expression melted into that sinful angel look she had when sleeping.
Cupping her face and breezing his thumb along her cheekbone, he whispered, “I’m sorry, baby.” Then he nuzzled his face into her hair and closed his eyes, feeling a strange kind of peace now that he was no longer at war with himself and had made the decision to do whatever it took to keep her.
CHAPTER TWELVE