She sang and sang, and I let the lyrics wash over me, their meaning becoming deeper the more I heard.
Her song faded away, although I knew the song wasn’t over. Somehow the words from the song had helped, the edge of my anxiety had dulled and I felt a bit more relieved. I was glad I had Wyn, I just wished she was closer. I wished my existence hadn’t put her in danger too. I cringed and sat up, the blanket falling away from me.
“Thanks, Wyn.”
“No problem. Are you okay?” she asked, her voice heavy.
“I’m better now.” I spun around, looking at the window. I needed to get out of here.
“Good, I’ve gotta go find my husband now, okay? I’ll call you in few hours.”
“Sounds good, Wyn.” I heard the phone click and I shut Ilyan’s and placed it in my pocket, my eyes still focused on the window.
I knew Ilyan had asked me to stay in the room, but I needed fresh air. I had been trapped inside for two days, stuck in the same clothes I had been attacked in. My hair was gross, and I was sure I was beginning to stink. Besides, I had his shield around me, not around the room. I could go anywhere. I shuffled my feet as I rationalized, hoping this wasn’t going to end up being one of my stupid decisions.
The crisp air of dusk filtered into the room as I opened the window, and I breathed it in, letting its heavy energy fill me. The chill undertone of it reminded me of home. I opened the window a bit more and stuck my head out, a slight evening breeze tugging at my hair.
I could feel the steady warmth of Ilyan’s magic surge through me. I focused on it as I pulled my body out of the window, moving to sit on the small eave right next to the casement.
The main street of the small town was directly below me. Most of it was occupied by houses and small businesses. I could see a small restaurant and a gas station, and I thought I could make out about three hardware stores.
I curled my legs into my chest, cursing the breeze and my lack of hoodie for giving me goose bumps up and down my arms. But even with the chill, it still felt nice. I felt the heavy reality of what had happened sinking into me. Ryland was alive, Wyn was being threatened, my dreams and my T?uha were both essentially controlled nightmares, and my Dad… my Dad…
I laid my head back against the siding of the house. It was almost too much for me to handle. And what was worse, there was more, more that I hadn’t been told yet. I mentally pushed everything around trying to find a free path through it all. I could do this, I was strong enough. Slowly, the numbness I had been shielding my emotions with began to recede, my panic over everything creeping in but only enough to keep me aware.
“I thought I told you to stay inside?” Ilyan’s voice wasn’t mad; he was more amused than anything.
I didn’t even open my eyes.
“I knew you would keep me safe,” I said, patting my shoulder.
“Well, I am glad you have so much trust in me,” Ilyan said as he sat down next to me, “but, next time wait until I get back. You are lucky I was paying attention or someone would have seen you.”
I blushed and looked at him. I was glad he wasn’t mad at me, but I felt bad for not listening to him.
“I couldn’t stay in there any longer. I felt like I was going to collapse in on myself.”
“I guess I did leave you at a bad time, but I couldn’t…” Ilyan stuttered to a stop, something I had never known him to do before. I looked to him curiously. His head was leaning back against the house, and as he turned to look at me, his long hair glistened in the setting sun.
“I’m sorry,” he said through the night air. “I never should have left you right then.” He paused and exhaled, his hand reaching around me to rub the goose bumps on my arm away. I leaned into him, part of me cringing against the contact, the other part desperately needing it and the warmth it gave me.
“It’s okay, Ilyan.” His hand continued to move up and down my arm, his magic warming me from the inside out.
“How are you coping with everything?”
“I don’t know.” I sighed and Ilyan squeezed me against him. “I’m not sure I understand everything, especially everything about my Dad. It still doesn’t make much sense.”
Ilyan rested his head on top of mine, the weight awkward, but strangely comfortable.
“It will, in a few days, and then if you have any questions I will answer them, I promise.”
“I’m not sure I want to know, Ilyan, not anymore.”
“I know, Joclyn. Just remember that I am here to help. I will keep you safe. I will help you through anything.” Ilyan said, his hand continuing to run up and down the skin of my arms.
“My Protector.” I spoke it like the term had become revered.
“Yes.” Ilyan moved me closer into him, giving me a squeeze before he moved away.