Without thinking, I grabbed my necklace and pushed my magic into it. This Ryland wouldn’t hold my hand and talk me through my problems like he used to, but I could at least talk without him judging me.
I opened my eyes to the T?uha and gasped. Everything had been destroyed in the few short hours since I had left him. Every single drawing, every one of Ryland’s masterpieces, were smudged and smeared, some erased completely. I looked around me in shock, my mouth hanging wide open in horror. Could this day get any worse?
“Ryland?” I asked softly. Normally he was right here waiting for me. But no one was here. No running feet. No happy smiling face, just months of masterpieces – destroyed.
“Ry?”
I ran through the room filled with smudged and destroyed dreams until I heard him. His little whimper was soft and broken. I ran toward the sound until I found him, hunched against the wall, crying into what was once the drawing of him holding the Vil?. He rubbed his fist into the face of the creature, his body shaking with sobs.
“Ryland?” He spun at my question, his face screwed up in anger.
“Go away!” He yelled, throwing broken bits of chalk and crayon at me. “I don’t need you anymore!”
“Ryland? Wha… what happened?”
“Go away!” he yelled again, his words cutting through me.
“You don’t mean that, Ry.”
“Go Away!” He turned away from me, rubbing harder into the blue smudge and turning it into a blur.
I rushed to him, wrapping my arms around his tiny frame. He fought me off, but I fought back harder. He cried as he fought and pushed away from me. I held on as he battled, his cry getting louder rather than softer as I had been hoping for. His pushing turned to punching and finally I was forced to let him go. He skidded away from me, both of us panting hard. I couldn’t stop looking at him. I didn’t know what had happened, where this had come from.
“Ryland?”
“Leave me alone! Go back to wherever you come from and never come back here again!” he screamed at the top of his lungs and backed himself into the wall. I wanted to reach for him, but was scared as to how he would react.
“I can’t do that, Ryland, you know I can’t do that. I’ll die.” I spoke softly, hoping to calm him down, but mostly because I was scared. I didn’t know how to react or what to say.
“Then die!”
“Ryland!” His words cut through me, he couldn’t possibly mean that.
“You don’t care what happens to me, you don’t care that I am here alone. You don’t care about me. You just want that other guy!”
“What other guy?” I asked, confused.
“The one you are waiting for, the one you lost. You think I am him, but I am not. I am just me, and you don’t care!”
“Ryland, I do care… I…” I pleaded with him quietly, as I tried to piece together the puzzle of his outburst. He interrupted me, his next words like lemon against an open wound.
“No you don’t! I hate you!”
“You don’t mean that.” My voice was almost a whisper.
“Yes, yes I do,” Ryland was losing momentum, his tears were taking over. “I have to.”
“You have to? Ry, you don’t have to do anything. I know you don’t hate me, so please don’t say that.” I carefully moved closer to him, watching his movements to see how far I could get. He stayed leaning against the wall, crying and watching me get closer.
“You don’t hate me,” I said, as I carefully placed my hand on his knee to comfort him, but he only cried harder.
“I have to, Jossy. He said… you don’t…” He stuttered a bit until his voice disappeared.
“He?”
“You don’t love me anymore, you love the other guy.” His shoulders shook, and my heart shattered.
“Of course I love you, Ry. You are my everything.”
He stared at me, I could see something click together in his mind, and a weak light began to return to his eyes. I took the opportunity and moved closer to him.
“Really?” His face brightened with hope. I returned the smile and wrapped my arms around him, pulling him to me.
“Yes, really. I couldn’t live without you, Ry. And I never want to hear you say you hate me, because I know it’s not true.”
He nodded against me and I squeezed him tighter, grateful when he returned the hug. I held him for much longer than necessary, but I wanted him to calm down, to know the truth of what I said. I wasn’t sure how to communicate that to a child. A hug seemed the simplest way.
“Now, about this ‘other guy’ I don’t think you are the other guy. I think you are you. I loved your drawing, and I am sorry I didn’t say so. I shouldn’t have said those things before, and I am sorry I did.”
“Thanks, Jossy.”
“No problem, little man. Now, I did come bearing good news.”
“You did?”
“I did. I get to go to the city tonight.” I smiled brightly, hoping at least one person would be excited for me. Instead, his face fell a little bit.
“But, I’m still stuck here.”