His words punch me with a realization that hasn’t yet crossed my mind. Since I’m dying, our son will never be born. Wonderland will have to continue to steal children for their dreams forever. Unless we can find an alternative.
There’s a harsh snap behind my sternum and a bitter, metallic flavor coats my throat.
I press my face into his chest, stifling a sob. “I thought we were dancing.”
In response, he spins me. I break free and come to a stop in front of a tree trunk. Its expression is locked in an openmouthed morose frown, just like the tree we stepped out of. I stand back and survey all the tulgeys within sight. Every single one has the same expression, as if it was miserable the moment the ice swept over it.
The heart of Wonderland is suffering. The doldrums are closing in. Come soon. We’ll hold them off as long as we can.
“Doldrums,” I murmur.
“What did you say?” Morpheus asks, coming up behind me.
“Doldrums. That’s the word Mom used when she said to hurry. She told me the doldrums were closing in.”
I look over my shoulder for his reaction. His jaw is clenched, his beautiful face crestfallen. He appraises the trees and the looking-glass rejects. “I thought Red merely cast a spell. But it was a plague . . . an extermination. Toxic gloom.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Doldrums are microscopic creatures. Their destruction is so devastating and complete, they’ve been in containment for centuries. Each of the castles has a supply of them under lock and key, as a means to keep the peace. To keep both kingdoms in check.”
I nod. “Mutual Assured Destruction . . . both sides know that any attack on the other will be devastating to themselves. We have the same thing for nuclear weapons in our world.”
Morpheus rubs his temple. “Red must’ve smuggled them out before she was exiled from the throne. When she launched her revenge against you and me, she didn’t simply plan to destroy the beauty here . . . she was going to eradicate everything.”
“But why? I thought she wanted her kingdom back?”
“It must have been her alternate plan, in case something went awry with the Alice one. This way, she could level all of Wonderland, then rebuild to her specifications.”
“Of course. That fits. She wanted to rule over everything.” I’m about to tell him how she intended to use our child as a bargaining chip to defeat Ivory and rule both kingdoms, but he interrupts.
“She must’ve released the plague after you left for the human realm,” he says. “After she found a new body to inhabit. That’s when it all started falling apart.”
“And that’s when you tried to get me to come back.” I move to the nearest tree and slide my scarred palm over the glacial bark. I sense Morpheus’s closeness, but don’t turn around. I’m too ashamed. “I should’ve listened.”
“You had a bit of a learning curve.” There’s restraint in his voice. He’s angry. “What matters is what you do with what you learned.”
“But can Red’s magic fix this?”
He sighs, placing his hand alongside mine on the tree so his body and wings hedge me in. “It comes down to more than fixing at this point. It is a renewal. Creating the world anew is the only way to stop the infection, and only the power of those who’ve once experienced crown-magic have that ability. It takes lineage from both kingdoms working together. Ivory couldn’t do it alone. That’s why she froze everything, to keep the inhabitants from getting infected until you came and could help. Together, you’ll re-create the landscapes and then, once they’re pure, Ivory can safely release all the netherlings from her suspension spell. It might take every ounce of power Red has left, paired with yours and Ivory’s, to address a pandemic so widespread.”
My eyes tear up, because my magic is only as strong as I am, and Red’s is waning.
Morpheus strokes my hair where it hangs between my shoulder blades. “There is a silver lining, luv. You won’t have to cast her out. You’ll simply use her up. And then she shall be defeated at last. Gone forever.”
He doesn’t realize I’ve already used most of her up. In trying to keep myself alive, I’ve damned Wonderland to die. I never considered how closely entwined our fates might be.
I crumple, my palm skating along the tree’s frozen face as I plop to the ground.
“Alyssa?” Morpheus crouches beside me in an instant. He catches my chin and forces me to look at him. “Are you feeling anemic again?”
I struggle to breathe. It grates inside my chest, like inhaling angry bees. Blood creeps into my throat and gags me.
Morpheus’s jeweled markings flash through an anxious kaleidoscope of colors. He whips off his jacket, wraps me in it, and rolls up his shirt cuff. “Take off your boot so I can heal you.”