He hadn’t planned to tell her any of this, but now that it was out there, he wasn’t going to lie. He owed her more than that. And he could see her thinking back, remembering what he’d been like when they first met. Twitchy, paranoid, frenetic. All the things he hated being. All the things he’d be again as soon as she left him. “At first? Yeah. When I was near you, I didn’t hear her voice as strongly. I could think. That’s why I didn’t let you go after we came out of the caves.”
Understanding dawned in her eyes, followed by hurt. A hurt that told him she thought that was the only reason he was with her now. He wanted to tell her that wasn’t the case, that things had changed, but before he could, she said, “How? How did that happen? Has she always had a hold on you like that?”
His stomach tightened. “No. She was in the Underworld. With me.”
Horror seeped into her eyes. Horror and revulsion. “What happened?” she whispered.
Sickness rolled through his stomach. He didn’t want to tell her the truth, because he knew as soon as he did, she’d look at him differently. As half a man. As a weakling. And he didn’t want that. What he wanted was to go back to the way things had been moments before he’d started this stupid conversation. When they’d been snuggled together on the couch and he was everything she wanted. But he knew now there was no going back. Their little bubble of happiness had exploded, all thanks to him.
His heart cinched down tight. The heart he’d realized he did still have, all thanks to her. There was no way she’d stay here with him now, no way she’d wait for him to get back from his quest to find Atalanta. Not even if he asked. He could see it in her eyes. She was already looking at him differently. But maybe by telling her just what kind of shit he’d done down there in the Underworld, he could somehow convince her Zagreus—Hades’s son, the prince of darkness who was as horrific as any in hell—wasn’t someone she should even consider tangling with. Maybe, if he shocked her enough, she’d stay away—far away—from the sick son of a bitch. Because he knew if she went ahead with this idiotic plan, she’d lose. She’d lose big.
His heart pinched so hard, pain lanced through every cell in his body. He’d do anything to keep her safe. Even confess his darkest, most gruesome secrets. At this point, that was the only choice he had left.
“You wanna know what happened?” he said in a low voice. “Really know?”
She nodded slowly. Didn’t dare look away from him.
He narrowed his eyes. And steeled himself against her reaction. A reaction that was going to change their relationship forever. And likely break him for good in the process.
“I fucked her,” he said, watching the shock and repulsion rush across her smooth, perfect features. “And I got fucked. By something a thousand times worse than her. But since I’d agreed to be her doulas, there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about either one. At least not until now.”
Chapter Eighteen
Maelea’s stomach churned with so much force, she was afraid she was going to be sick.
She stared at Gryphon across the granite island where he stood behind the couch, his eyes hard, cold, light blue orbs, so like the icy eyes she’d looked into from the first. Dead. Haunted. Not a bit like the soft, caring eyes she’d peered into this last week as they’d sat together in front of the fireplace, played on the beach, teased each other in the kitchen, and made love in her bed upstairs.
I won’t do to you what was done to me.
His words from the motel, before they took that shower together, when he’d convinced her he wouldn’t hurt her, came back with a vengeance.
He was telling the truth. She could see it in his hard face. Bile rushed up her throat. She swallowed hard to keep it down.
“Wh-who?” she managed to ask. “Who did that to you?”
“Krónos.”
Oh gods. Oh gods. The King of the Elder Gods. The most horrific god imaginable. Trapped in the bowels of Tartarus for all eternity by her father, Zeus. And thanks to her twisted family tree, technically, her grandfather. She gripped the edge of the counter. “Y-you saw Krónos?”
“Atalanta took me to him.” His voice was callous, unfeeling, as cold as the ice suddenly rushing through her veins. “She knew the Argonauts were going to try to rescue me, and she was desperate for a way out of the prison Orpheus and Demetrius had locked her in with their witchcraft. So she asked Krónos to tether us together. And he did. Gifted me with the darkness of the Underworld so she could call on me whenever she fucking wanted.”
As Maelea’s stomach churned again, everything—all his twitching and wild eyes and paranoia and haunted looks—finally made sense.
“He made her a deal,” he said when Maelea finally looked up. “Gave her six months to find the Orb of Krónos or he’d bring her back to the Underworld. Bring me back.”
Her pulse picked up speed. His jaw hardened until it was nothing but a slice of steel beneath his skin, and for a moment, she wasn’t sure she wanted to hear the rest. Knew she had to.