‘Why are there so many people here?’ I give them a baffled look. ‘I thought we made the danger clear to them. Don’t they have an ounce of common sense?’
Dee checks to make sure his mic is turned off. ‘It’s not about common sense.’ Dee surveys the crowd with some pride.
Dum also checks to make sure his mic is off. ‘It’s not about logic or practicality or anything that makes a remote amount of sense.’ He sports a wide grin.
‘That’s the whole point of a talent show,’ says Dee, doing a spin onstage. ‘It’s illogical, chaotic, stupid, and a whole hell of a lot of fun.’ Dee nods to Dum. ‘It’s what sets us apart from monkeys. What other species puts on talent shows?’
‘Yeah, okay, but what about the danger?’ I ask.
‘That I don’t quite have an answer for,’ says Dum.
‘They know it’s dangerous.’ Dee waves to the crowd. ‘They know they’ll only have twenty-five seconds to evacuate. Everybody knows what they’re getting into.’
‘Maybe they’re sick of being nothing more than rats rummaging through the trash and running for their lives.’ Dee sticks his tongue out at the kids sitting on shoulders. ‘Maybe they’re ready to be human again, if only for an hour.’
I think about that. We’ve been scratching by since the angels got here. Everyone, even the gangs, has been afraid. Constantly worried about food and shelter and basic human necessities. Worried about whether friends and family will survive the day, worried about monsters jumping out in the middle of the night and eating us alive.
And now there’s this. A talent show. Silly and nonsensical. Stupid and fun. Together. Laughing. Being part of the human race. Knowing about the horrors that have happened and will happen but choosing to live anyway. Maybe there’s an art to being human.
Sometimes I feel like a Martian in the middle of all this humanity.
‘Or,’ says Dum, ‘maybe they’re here because they’re all lusting after the’ – he turns on his mic – ‘amazing, magical recreational vehicle!’ He sweeps his arm to the stage backdrop.
There’s still enough light to make the projection behind him dim, but it’s a picture of a scratched-up RV.
‘Yes, you can believe your eyes, ladies and gentlemen,’ says Dee. ‘This is an unbelievably high-end recreational vehicle. In the old days, a beauty like this would run you – what – a hundred thousand dollars?’
‘Or a million,’ says Dum.
‘Or ten million, depending on what you want to do with it,’ says Dee.
‘This sweet baby is completely bulletproof,’ says Dum.
The crowd goes quiet.
‘Yes, you heard that right,’ says Dee.
‘Bulletproof,’ says Dum.
‘Shatterproof,’ says Dee.
‘And zombie-proof windows grace this beauty of a moving home,’ says Dum.
‘It comes complete with an early intruder system, three-sixty-degree video capability for watching your surroundings at all times, remote motion sensors so you’ll know if someone or something is near. And best of all . . .’ The photo projected behind them changes to the interior of the RV.
‘Absolute luxury of the World Before,’ says Dee. ‘Leather seats, luxury beds, a dining table, TV, washing machine, and its own bathroom complete with shower,’ says Dum.
‘For those of you wondering what the TV is for, why, we’ve made sure it comes with its own enormous movie collection. Who needs broadcast or streaming when you have a generator built in to your home?’
‘It took us a week to get the paint to look as dirty and grimy as possible. And believe me, it broke my heart to have to dirty this beauty up, but it’s a huge advantage not to look like a rich kid on wheels.’
‘Speaking of wheels,’ says Dee. ‘It can go twenty miles on four flat tires. It can climb up hills and over other cars if need be. This is an all-terrain vehicle of the wet dream kind, ladies and gentlemen. If we ever loved anything more than this, we must have called her Mommy.’
‘Hang on tight to your raffle tickets,’ says Dum. ‘They could be worth more than your life.’
Now it makes more sense. I’m sure some people came to stand by other humans in a final fight for survival, but I’m equally sure that some came for a shot at winning the World After RV.
The RV projection turns off. Huge spotlights turn on that make the stage glow. I cringe at the beacon, then remember that it’s supposed to be showy.
The speakers crank up with a whine that turns into a piercing shrill as the feedback blasts throughout the broken bridge.
I scan the dusky skies and see nothing but the beautiful sunset coloring the wispy mist. The peekaboo sky is a magical backdrop for the show, which seems miraculous in itself.
Dee and Dum dance a jig onstage, then bow as if they’re expecting a Broadway-show response. At first, the applause is muffled and scattered, timid and afraid.
‘Whooo-wheee!’ Dee shouts into his microphone. It reverberates through the whole crowd. ‘Damn, it feels good to make noise. Let’s all get it out of our system, people.’