“I really did, Alex.” She met his eyes when she said it, hoping to convey her sincerity. “I really hope you understand that. Everything I did, I did because I—I cared about you.”
“I know that. And even then, I think I knew that. I was just in such a fog of confusion and misery and just … bleakness. But I shouldn’t have lashed out at you like that. It was uncalled for, and I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. I understand,” she said. “You’ve been going through something terrible, and it’s my fault. You should be mad at me. I did something major to you without even asking.”
“Gemma, it’s okay. I’m okay,” he reassured her.
“You do seem to be doing so much better than the last time I saw you.”
It wasn’t just the look in his eyes, the way he looked more like himself—although that was a big part of it. Alex just seemed relaxed and calmer. Before, he’d been so brooding and angsty, but now, there was a lightness about him again.
“I’m feeling so much better,” Alex said with a relieved smile. “It’s like this fog has been lifted, you know?”
“I’m glad to hear it,” she said, and she meant it.
But what she didn’t dare ask was why? Not because she didn’t want to know but because she was afraid of what the answer might be.
When she’d used the siren song on Alex, it had been to make him stop loving her. And he had. Or at least it appeared that way, but it had also caused him to spiral into despair and anger.
Now he was better. He should still be trapped under the spell, and though she was very happy that he wasn’t, Gemma didn’t know how to explain it. The siren curse hadn’t been broken, so the song should still have an effect on him.
Unless he didn’t love her anymore. Maybe it wasn’t the song itself that hurt him but the fact that it conflicted with his own feelings for her. And if he stopped loving her, the conflict would disappear.
“I’m not like happy happy, but I’m closer than I’ve been in a while,” Alex went on with the same broad smile.
“I will find a way to get you all the way back to normal,” she promised him, forcing back the lump in her throat. “I’m going to find a way to undo the curse, then that will set you free, too.”
Or at least that was her plan. From what Lydia had told her, and from Thea’s story about Asterion and the minotaurs, once the curse was broken, it was like it had never existed. With Asterion, that meant that the immortality the curse had given him along with his bullhead had been taken away, and since he was centuries old, he’d turned into dust.
Although no one had explicitly stated it, Gemma hoped that if the siren curse was broken, any enchantments of their siren song would be lifted as well. She didn’t know for sure if breaking the curse would only affect the cursed themselves—so Thea and Penn would turn to dust, but all of the siren spells would still live on—but she hoped it would erase everything, including the spell she put on Alex.
Until then, she could only hope the spell would continue to weaken until any lingering enchantment eventually disappeared.
Not that it would make that much of a difference anymore, not if Alex had set himself free by falling out of love with her.
She was surprised to feel the ache in her chest growing, her heart tearing in half all over again. This is what she’d wanted. Setting Alex free and away from her to keep him safe. It was best for him, and she knew that.
But it felt like losing him all over again. After their kiss last week, she’d been rather stupidly and selfishly hoping that they would be able to be together again once this was all over—or sooner than that, if she was being completely honest.
“Is this about the scroll that Harper was telling me about?” Alex asked, pulling her from her thoughts.
He sat at the other end of the couch, his dark eyes resting on her, and the distance between them had never felt so great. All she wanted to do was reach out and touch him, to have him pull her into his arms one last time and taste his lips as they pressed against hers.
But she couldn’t, so she forced a smile and nodded. “Yeah. We’re still working on it, but we’ll find a way.”
“You do what you need to do for yourself, but you don’t need to worry about me.”
“How can I not worry about you? I broke you.”
“That’s the thing.” He licked his lips. “I don’t really feel broken anymore.”
“I noticed,” she said, hoping her words didn’t sound as pained as they felt.
“And I think…” A slight blush broke out on his tanned cheeks, and he lowered his eyes. “I think it was because we kissed.”
Her heart skipped a beat, and she stared at him in surprise. “Really?”
“Really.” He lifted his head, evenly meeting her gaze. “Every day I’ve felt more and more like myself since then.”