Doppelganger

chapter NINETEEN

I have to admit I was a little nervous getting back behind the wheel. I’d driven only that one time a week ago. Not only that, this car was a little different from Amber’s, and it took me a few minutes to figure out where everything was. But I finally managed to turn the lights on and get the car started. Before long I was on my way to Amber’s.

As I made my way through town, I was so focused on trying to drive, I didn’t realize how jacked up I was until I was almost to her house. Then it hit me all at once—this weird combination of excitement and nervousness all wrapped into one. My knuckles turned white along the edge of the steering wheel, my heart pounded in my ears, and all of a sudden I felt like one of those big meteors streaking in from outer space, skipping across the atmosphere, disintegrating in a trail of fire, burning up in one long, exhilarating rush.

The problem with meteors, though, is that they crash. Whatever’s left smashes into the earth and dies, becomes a lump of cold, melted rock.



I had just turned the corner onto Amber’s street and could see her house up ahead when a pulse rattled against my chest, a double charge that nearly sent me off the road. A second later it came again. I put my hand on the source of the vibration.

It was the phone. I turned into Amber’s driveway, pulled it out of my pocket, and laughed in relief. Here Amber was calling me, and I was right outside her door. I decided to answer it and sneak up on her while we talked—I’d seen them do that sort of thing on TV all the time. It would be a funny trick.

But when I answered the phone, the trick was on me.

“Yes?” I quipped, stepping out of the car.

“So you decided to skip class again, I see,” a voice purred. “You’re a naughty, naughty boy.”

It took a second before I realized who it was. I froze, unable to speak.

“What’s the matter?” the sheganger teased. “Cat got your tongue?”

I got back into the car and shut the door as quietly as I could.

“How did you get this number?” I hissed.

“Oh, I just had a nice long chat with that girl of yours. You know, a little heart-to-heart. Could hardly get her to shut up, in fact. Still, I understand the attraction. She’s certainly got the goods, a perfect specimen.”

“I told you before to leave her alone.”

“I’m happy to. After all, I’ve got the teacher. She’s more than adequate. Only you need to cooperate. I can’t wait forever, you know.”

“I told you I’m not interested.”



“Of course you are, you silly boy. You think I can’t tell seeing you, smelling you. So stop all this dramatic nonsense—it’s disgustingly human.”

“Sorry, the answer’s the same,” I said, trying to keep my voice from quavering. “I’ve got to go.”

I started to close up the phone, when I heard her call out, “Wait!” I hesitated, then brought the phone back up to my ear.

“What?” I snapped.

“If you won’t come to me as I am, then I’ll take a form that I know you’ll find appealing.”

My stomach fell, and for a second I just closed my eyes. I knew who she was talking about. Until this moment I’d been trying to fool myself into thinking that it wasn’t going to come to this, but really I knew. The second I caught her scent in the air at school, I sensed deep down that it meant trouble.

I glanced through the windshield at the big house. Amber was somewhere inside, waiting for me. And I could go in there, I could protect her tonight, even tomorrow. But not forever. Somehow the sheganger would find a way. After all, it’s what we’re good at. It’s what we’re made for.

That and one other thing. Suddenly I knew what I had to do.

“You still there?” she said.

“All right,” I said. “You know Parson Woods? The forest outside of town where you ditched the Subaru?”

There was a pause. She was trying to figure out how I knew. “Sure,” she said at last.

“Meet me there at eight thirty.”

“I knew you’d come to your senses.”



“Let’s just get it over with,” I said. “Half an hour.”

“Sounds good,” she replied. “I’ve got some business to take care of anyway.”

“So do I.”

I closed up the phone before she could say good-bye. I didn’t want to hear her say another word.

I started up the car and backed out of the driveway as fast as I could. Trying to keep one eye on the road as I headed down the street, I flipped the phone open again and pressed the button Amber had showed me earlier. It wasn’t easy—I almost dropped the stupid thing my hand was shaking so hard. A few seconds, later Amber’s voice was in my ear.

“Hi, Amber,” I said.

“Chris?”

“No, it’s Gabriel,” I said, trying to laugh.

“Sorry,” she said. “I can’t believe I forgot. It’s going to take me a while.”

“That’s okay,” I said. “Listen, Amber, I’m going to be late.”

“What’s wrong?” she said. She wasn’t dumb. She could tell something was up.

“Nothing serious. There’s just something I’ve got to do first. I’m sorry. I’ll tell you all about it later.”

“You promise?”

“I promise,” I said.

There was a pause on the other end. “Okay,” she said at last. “Oh, by the way, did Ms. Simpson call you yet?”

“No,” I whispered.

“Well, we had this long talk. It was really weird, but it was good. And that whole thing that happened yesterday—when I saw you two—we cleared it all up. Sorry again that I overreacted. Anyway, there’s a quiz you need to make up. She said she’d get a hold of you.”

“Thanks, Amber,” I said. “I’ll see you soon.”

“See you soon,” she said.



I glanced at my watch as the headlights appeared through the trees. Eight thirty. She was punctual, all right. Somehow that didn’t surprise me. I leaned against the hood of Barry’s car and tried to seem steady, tried to seem cool as the headlights came around the corner and flashed onto me as she pulled up.

She stepped out of the car and walked toward me.

“Hey, gorgeous,” she said.

“Did you take care of your business?” I asked. I had an idea what it was, but I wanted to make sure.

“Just needed to tie up some loose ends. Write a few letters, that sort of thing. It seems Ms. Simpson has abruptly resigned and left town for unknown parts so she can—how do they like to put it?—go find herself.”

“So you’re dropping her just like that?”

“Why not? After tonight I won’t need her anymore. Besides, think of it as a public service—should supply this town with enough gossip to get them through the next few years,” she said. “Then again, who knows? Maybe she won’t even be missed.”

“She will be. I know I miss her.”

The sheganger sighed. “Ms. Simpson? You’ve got to be kidding me. And all this time I thought you didn’t like the teacher.”

When I didn’t say anything, she took another step closer. Even in the shadows, I could see her eyes sparkle as she smiled at me, her breath coming in little puffs of steam in the night air. My nostrils flared as her scent started to reach me through the cold.

“Well, I brought her along if you want to say hello. She’s right back there in the trunk.”

“No thanks,” I said, taking a few steps back. I needed to get away from her smell.

She laughed. “Look at you. Even now, you’re still fighting it. All because of some human female. Some silly little girl.”

“She’s not some silly girl,” I said. “And I’m doing this for her.”

She sniffed. “How noble of you. You know, I might just kill the pathetic little thing anyway when this is over.”

“Why do you have to go and say something like that?”

“Well, somebody has to teach you a lesson. You can’t get all involved with these people. Otherwise, how can you be what you are? It’s not good for you. It’s certainly not good for them. You need to understand.”

“I understand, all right.”

“Good. Now, let’s get down to business, handsome. Which backseat do you want, yours or mine? Mine’s more comfortable.”

I pulled the pistol from my pocket and raised it. It was Barry’s gun. I’d gone back for it after leaving Amber’s. I wasn’t sure I’d use it, I wasn’t even sure I could. Now I’d find out.

The gun shook slightly in my hand as I pointed it at her.

She squinted for a moment, as if she was trying to figure out what I was doing. Then she started to laugh.

“A gun?” she said. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

I didn’t say anything.

“You can’t seriously be thinking about doing this,” she sneered.

“I told you to leave her alone. You wouldn’t listen to me.”

“What the hell is wrong with you? I mean, just for the sake of argument, so what if I did take the girl? It’s no different from anything you’ve done.”

“It is different!” I shouted.

She shook her head in disgust. “All right, enough. Put the gun away and let’s go. It’s time.”

“No,” I said. The gun lowered slightly. “I told you before, it isn’t going to happen. I don’t want it to.”

It wasn’t completely true. A part of me still wanted to, even after everything. And seeing her there right in front of me, her scent so close, didn’t help. But it wasn’t what I’d come here for.

“Of course you want to,” she said. “You have to. That’s just the way it is. You can’t fight nature.”

“I’m going to try,” I said, raising the gun again.

“By killing me?” she said, her voice rising slightly. I could tell she was starting to get a little worried. “You don’t want to couple, fine. But you can’t kill me. We don’t kill one another. We never have.”

“Why not?”

“We just don’t. There are too few of us to engage in that sort of nonsense.”

“I don’t care,” I said. “I can’t let you hurt her. I can’t let you hurt any of them. Not anymore.”



“But that’s what I do. That’s all that I am, you know that. I kill. I’m a doppelganger.”

“So am I,” I whispered, cocking the gun.

She shook her head again. “They really got to you, didn’t they? You know, it’s kind of ironic if you think about it. I mean, you talk about defying nature, resisting me, resisting your urges, but if you hadn’t given in to them, if you hadn’t killed Chris, you never would’ve gotten to this point.”

“Life’s funny, I guess,” I said.

“It certainly is.” She smiled and looked down at the ground.

“Turn around.”

She took a step toward me. “I know what this is about,” she said. “You think that if you do this, it’ll be over, right? All the conflict you feel, the guilt, the self-loathing, it’ll all come to an end by killing me. Isn’t that so?” She took another step.

“Stop it!” I shouted. “Turn around!”

“Well, it won’t,” she said, then paused. “It won’t ever end, because the urge will always be there. In fact, it’s there right now, isn’t it? It’s been a while since the last time, after all. Since you took Chris.”

I was shaking pretty bad now. She started walking toward me again.

“Please don’t do this, Chris,” she cooed. “I know you can’t. You can’t kill your own teacher.”

“I’m not Chris,” I whispered. “And you’re not her.”

“I can be whoever you want me to be,” she said.

Her arms reached out.

Nothing can prepare you for the first time. No matter what you’ve seen on TV, no matter what anyone tells you, there’s something about shooting a gun—the noise, the recoil, the muzzle’s flash—that takes you by surprise.

I don’t doubt that the look of shock on my face matched her own as we both stared down at the hole in her chest. She reached up and put her fingers to the spot, then pulled them back to gaze at the blood blackening her hand.

When she looked back up at me, the shock was beginning to fade and the slightest smile had settled in.

It lasted only a moment.

Soon she began to twitch, then bubble and blur as her human face slowly dissolved and her true features emerged, starting with the eyes—the wide bulbous orbs mingling with Ms. Simpson’s nose and mouth. At that point I turned away. I just couldn’t watch.

When I looked back, she had crumpled. The transformation was complete.

I walked over to where the sheganger lay sprawled across the gravel and watched the slit of her mouth as it opened and closed a few times. Then, in the headlights’ glow, she went still.