Airport hotels, which catered to the business traveler, usually had room service, and this one was no exception. One of the reasons I'd chosen it.
"Great." My voice was too cheerful. I hopped off the counter, restarted the shower, hoping like hell the water heater recycled at the speed of sound, then I cleared my throat and tried again. "Whatever you want is fine with me."
There, that sounded better, as if what had just happened had meant nothing.
Even though we both knew that it had.
The shower was just warm enough to endure, just cold enough to be unpleasant. When I drew back the curtain, my duffel sat on the toilet seat. I glanced at the closed door. Nice of him.
I was running out of clean clothes. Tomorrow we'd have to hit Wal-Mart. Not surprisingly, I'd seen one just across the street. The superstores seemed to be multi-plying like bunnies. I kind of liked it. Wherever you were, there they were. It was comforting.
Sawyer had put the athletic shorts back on. He didn't have much choice. He'd also draped a dry towel around his shoulders.
"Still cold?" I asked as I came into the room.
He shrugged, not looking at me, and one end of the towel slid down his back.
"You okay?"
"Why wouldn't I be?"
I shouldn't mention the woman of smoke. I didn't want to upset him again. Except I had to.
"Your mother—" He glanced up sharply. "Sorry. The psycho bitch from hell said they have their own prophecies."
"So I've heard."
"What are they? Where are they?"
"There have always been whispers of a book, com-posed by a Nephilim that wrote down the prophecies it received in visions from Apollyon."
"Revelation in reverse."
"Balance," Sawyer murmured, echoing Carla.
It made sense in a weird sort of way. Christ versus Antichrist. Angel versus Devil. God versus Satan. Bible versus—
"What's their book called?"
"I don't know."
"Who's got it?"
He spread his hands.
I had so many questions. I paused a minute to get my thoughts in order. "Who in hell is Apollyon and where is he now?"
"Confined in Tartarus."
"A Grigori."
"The Grigori," he corrected. "Apollyon means 'Abaddon' in Hebrew."
"I'm a little rusty," I said.
"The Destroyer. The one who will rule when the Grigori are released again on earth."
"The Antichrist." I frowned. "But your mother's jockeying for that job."
For once, he didn't correct my use of the term. "Your point?"
"How can she be trying to become the Antichrist by opening Tartarus when the Antichrist is already locked up there?"
"The prophecy of the Antichrist has always been that he—"
"Or she."
He inclined his head. "—will not just appear on earth, but will have lived here and become a great leader, who is eventually possessed by Satan."
Understanding dawned. "When Tartarus is opened and the Grigori are released, Apollyon—Satan—will possess the one who released him."
"Yes."
"I wouldn't think the woman of smoke would take kindly to that."
"To rule she'd do anything."
And who knows, maybe she had another plan up her sleeve. Though what it could be, I had no idea, which was typical lately. I never knew what was going on.
"I'd really like to get my hands on that book," I murmured.
"You and everyone else on heaven and earth." At my curious glance he continued. "One of the prophecies in the book states the army that carries it is invincible."
"Son of a—" I broke off. "Like the Arc of the Covenant?"
"Balance," he reminded me. "If the forces of light have an icon that promises invincibility ..."
"Then the forces of darkness get one, too. How in hell re we supposed to win this war again?"
"Who says that we will?"
"The proph—" I choked as I realized what he meant. For every prophecy existed a counterprophesy. They canceled each other out.
I'd been working under the assumption, the belief, the faith, that in the end our side would triumph. But that was because the good guys said so.
The bad guys said so, too.
Sawyer's eyes met mine. "Faith means nothing if the outcome is preordained."
"What?" He was reading my mind again, and I was too shook to think straight.
"Faith is belief in the unbelievable. Rock-solid conviction that the unseen is real. Support of a truth that could very well be untrue."
"A prophecy."
"Exactly. To win, Phoenix, you have to believe that you will."
CHAPTER 21
In order to win, I had to believe that I would.
Easy for him to say.
We slept in separate beds, which seemed stupid after what we'd shared, but it wasn't my idea. I wouldn't have said a word if Sawyer had climbed in beside me. I wouldn't have said a word if he'd wanted to be inside me.
But he'd pulled back emotionally, and he seemed to be following up by pulling back physically. I figured he didn't know how to handle feelings. How could he?