chapter Eleven
MY STOMACH FLIPPED, and I strode toward my porch, toward Jace. “Nothing really, just went for a walk.” I shrugged. “Was feeling cooped up.”
Jace nodded once. “Your mom said as much.” He stood and buried his hands in his pockets. “I know you said you were feeling bad, but I wanted to come see you before I started the change.” He gave me a weak smile.
I wandered up beside him and sat on the concrete step. “How’s Lana doing?”
Jace sat back down. “She’s okay. Wigging a little, but she’s more excited about going to the Academy than anything.”
“I should have gone to see her.” I bowed my head, guilt flooding my stomach.
“Dez, she gets you had a tough shift. So do I.” He turned and faced me. “I was just worried about you. Wanted to make sure you were really okay before I went out of commission.”
I smiled at him. “Right. You know you’re just dying to see my power.” I was relieved that I’d mastered Charge. I opened my hand, and a small dome of currents sparked.
Jace stared at my hand. “That’s cool, Dez. But honestly, I was concerned.” He folded my hand, dousing the Charge. “I know I’m a bit tough on the training, and it comes across like that’s all I’m about.” He continued holding my hand. “But that’s only because of what we’re about to face.”
I glanced at the tea lights flickering in the tree. I had to find a way to alleviate this fear in him. I’d spent my whole life caught between two races, afraid to be myself. Now that I finally had the chance to be a part of both, I wanted Jace to accept the Narcolym. I wanted the Shythe to move past the feud and the hostility. I wanted Jace to be happy.
“Jace,” I said hesitantly. “We were all worried about them coming here, but they don’t seem to want to hurt anyone. Do you think it’s wise to keep training at the Academy? I mean, if we get caught—”
Jace stood abruptly. “Of course they’re not going to hurt anyone.” He mock laughed. “They’re waiting till we’re primed, till we let them completely in and trust them.” He huffed and turned toward me. “Don’t let them do this, Dez. Don’t allow them to fill your mind with bull. They’re here because they want something. That Peace Act shit is just a cover.”
I dropped my eyes, staring down at my feet. He’d never accept the two races together. Or at least, not anytime soon. I sighed. “Okay. But really, would your dad be in on it? Think about it. Why would the Council let them into Haven if there was a threat?”
Jace stared up at the sky. “I don’t know,” he said desperately and looked into my eyes—his burned blue. “Maybe the Narcos have something on them. Or maybe they’re simply too blind to see.”
“You’re reaching, Jace. I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I know that we can’t take any chances. I’ll keep training because I like sparring, but I’m not going to continue if I feel that me, Lana, or Nick are in any way going to get caught.”
He smiled ruefully. “I won’t let anything happen to you guys.” His face lit up with that same squinty-eyed smile that made my heart melt. “I’ll scope out the Academy. Now that the Narcos have taken over Cogs, I guess it’s not safe to keep training there.” His face fell.
“Yeah, I agree. But take it easy on us our first week. I know Lana’s dying to finally get out on her own. Let her enjoy it. Okay?”
“I will.” He then knelt down in front of me so suddenly my breath caught. “But when we all get settled, you do owe me a sparring match. I have to redeem myself.” His eyes traced my face, and heat prickled my cheeks.
“Count on it,” I said, my voice raspy. He stayed there a moment longer, staring at me. I was relieved I’d remembered to put my eye lenses back in. I wasn’t sure how long I could hold the blue, especially with my emotions running high.
Jace finally pulled away. “I need to get back. Big day tomorrow.”
“Right,” I said, shaking my head. “Your birthday.” I smiled up at him. “Happy birthday, Jace. And tell Lane and Nick I said so, too. Let her know I’ll make it up to her next week.”
“I will.” He turned to go, but shot back around quickly. “The bracelet looks good on you, Dez.” He smiled and walked to the other side of my walkway where he’d parked his levibike.
I twisted the bracelet around my wrist, its bright blue gem twinkling up at me. Jace would eventually get over his suspicions of the Narcos when nothing ever came of it. I had faith that he’d come around. Until then, I just had to play along. Even though the guilt ate at me, I had to keep Reese a secret until I felt Jace could handle the truth.
For the rest of the week, I practiced with Reese at the falls. After I’d shown my mom the Charge I could summon at will, she’d told me to practice as much as I wanted. Reese and I began early in the morning and carried into the night.
He packed lunches, and I brought blankets for when we took breaks. I’d mastered Charge—though never attempting my full power level—and was able to hold onto the blue in my eyes, even as he tested me. At times his testing was a bit much. He’d say slanderous things about the Shythe race, trying to provoke a negative reaction from me. It worked. But instead of my eyes resorting back to violet, or glowing that strange white fury, they maintained their blue hue.
Other times the testing was too much in other ways. Reese would send ripples of currents over my skin, pressing himself close to me, my body reacting to the pleasurable feeling. The stimulation was intensely seductive. But my eyes always remained blue. Then I’d tackle him when I couldn’t tolerate the teasing any longer.
By Saturday, I was able to control Flame. Reese was astounded by how much I’d accomplished in under a week’s time.
“You’re like some kind of mixed-race prodigy,” he said, shaking his head. “Seriously, you’ve mastered both Charge and Flame in just days.”
“That’s because I have an excellent teacher.” I beamed at him, but then squinted. “How can I be a prodigy when you only have yourself to compare me to? And that’s not really fair. You didn’t have anyone to help you. I never could’ve figured this out on my own.”
Reese rummaged through his bag, his features hidden, but I could still see the glow fading from his eyes. I’d come to realize that happened when he was worried or upset.
I squatted next to him. “What’s wrong? Did I say something?”
He met my eyes, and a small smile spread across his lips. “No. It’s just…” He dumped out the bag and continued to search for whatever he was trying to locate. “You’re right. If I’d had someone who cared, I might’ve learned quicker, too.” He pulled something from the bottom of his bag. “Now, no more practice. I think we’ve devoted enough to that this week.” His eyebrows shot up. “Time for fun.”
He tossed me a blue swimsuit. “Are you serious? That water’s probably freezing.” I scowled at the tiny two-piece. “And where did you even get this? And how did you guess my size?”
“I think with only three sizes to choose from at the market, I could safely assume you were the smallest one.” He gave me a little wink. “And the water is perfect right now.”
My face flamed, but I shook off my embarrassment and headed behind a tree to change. The suit was different than the one-piece I normally wore, but it fit. I stepped from behind the pine while Reese laced his black swimming trunks. He’d already removed his shirt, and my eyes scanned his upper body. He was toned with solid, tight definition. His muscles flexed as he tied the string of his trunks.
“I’ve never seen guys wear black before,” I said, averting my eyes.
“Well, if you were a guy and ever tried swimming in all-white trunks, you might dye yours, too.”
I blushed. Girls definitely had it easier in that department. We had more of a choice when it came to swimming clothes. But looking over the suit Reese had picked for me, I felt almost naked. I wished he would’ve told me we’d be going swimming. I could’ve saved myself some humiliation and brought my own.
“Where did you find this thing?” I wrapped my arms around my midsection. “It barely covers anything.”
Reese walked over and scooped me into his arms. “That’s kind of the point.” Then he waded into the river up to his waist, and lowered me into the cold water. I bounded up with a gasp as the icy water swept past my skin.
The river wasn’t very deep, and the water level only came to my midsection. After a moment of getting used to the chill, I sank beneath the glassy top, resting my knees on the river bed. Reese grasped my waist and floated me closer to him.
He looked deep into my eyes. “Shift for me,” he whispered, then dropped his lips beneath the water.
I wrapped my legs around his torso, forcing him above the surface so I could rest my chin on his shoulder and avoid his eyes. “Not yet.”
He pulled back, making me look into his red eyes. When we were close like this, his eyes always took on their Narco color. “Why are you so frightened of it?”
I tried to swim away, but he held onto my waist. “I’m not,” I said, giving in to his embrace. “I just don’t want to confuse my body. I’ve come so far with controlling Charge…I don’t want to lose focus.”
“That’s not it.” Reese tilted his head, his eyes squinted. “You know you have that down. What’s really bothering you?”
“Nothing,” I said, exasperated. “I’m just not ready, okay?” I finally pulled away and half-swam, half-walked toward the bank.
Reese stood in the center of the river. “Dez, I’m sorry.” I watched as water beaded and ran down his ripped chest. It was impossible to stay upset with him.
“It’s not your fault.” I looked at my bunched clothes on the blanket and plopped down. “You’re right. It scares me.”
He slugged through the river toward me. Seating himself next to me on the blanket, he ran his hand down my arm. “Then wait until you’re ready. I won’t push anymore.”
“All right.” I gazed into his warm violet eyes. I was still amazed at how they changed with his mood when he didn’t pay attention. We were becoming comfortable around each other—allowing our guards to fall.
Reese dried off and slipped back into his clothes while I hid behind my pine to change. After I hung my wet swimsuit on a branch near our blanket, I began tying the top of my blouse.
“We’ll be at the Academy soon,” he said as he laced his boots. “I won’t be able to spend as much time with you. Let’s go out and do something tonight. Like a normal couple.”
“A normal couple?” I laughed. “We’ll never be that.”
“You know what I mean.” He latched onto my waist and pulled me close to him. “I want to take my girlfriend out. Someplace nice. What do couples do in Haven? Dinner? Dancing? Your pick.”
“Girlfriend?” My face heated. It was strange hearing him use such a simple term. We were so different than anyone else. “Girlfriend” didn’t seem powerful enough for what we meant to each other.
“Yeah,” he said. “Got a problem with that? Want to fight, little Shythe girl?” He slapped my butt and moved quickly away from my retaliation.
I chased after him and kicked my leg out to drop him to the ground, but he lunged, dodging my blow. “That reminds me,” I said, panting. “You owe me a match, Narco Slime.”
He grabbed me and lifted me off the ground. “That I do. But not today.” He brought me to the ground with him, hovering above me. “Tonight I just want to be Dez and Reese, strange but normal couple, going out and having a good time.”
“Fine. You win.” I twirled a strand of his hair between my fingers, watching his copper eyebrow stud glint in the sunlight. “We’ll go out. But we have to be careful. Even though Jace, Lana, and Nick are still going through the change, I think most Kythan would still have a problem seeing us making out. Don’t you?”
He rolled his eyes. “You forget I can go incognito. We can go somewhere you don’t know anyone, and I can wear my Shythe costume.”
“Oh, good idea.” I smiled. “Now move. I have to go get dolled up.”
He kissed me, ignoring my request. I laughed against his lips and folded my arms around his neck. I focused on warming my hands, and ran them against his back, spreading heat over his body. He shuddered.
Finally pulling ourselves apart, we packed up and headed toward his levibike. I slipped on his goggles, pushing my hair behind my ears. After the triplets were better, they’d be riding around, too. I had to find a better disguise than Reese’s goggles. But for now, it was better than nothing.
Once I was inside my unit, I showed my mom how I could use Flame. I stretched out my hand and allowed a tiny red flame to dance in the center of my palm.
“That’s amazing, Dez,” she said, falling back onto the sofa. “I’m proud of you.”
I settled next to her. “I don’t even have to wear my eye lenses anymore. I can control my eye color. So nobody will ever find out.” I paused a beat. “And what’s better, no more hunting lenses down.”
“That’s a big plus.” Brushing my hair from my shoulder, her face went serious. “What about shifting?”
I bowed my head and shook it. “No. I can’t do that yet.”
“But I saw you do it. You can. And you’ll have to at the Academy at some point. What happened wasn’t your fault. You weren’t in control over the power yet.” She tilted her head, her eyes meeting mine. “But now you are.”
I glanced at her wrist. It still held the scar from where I’d hurt her. Kythan healed quickly, but her wound wasn’t going away. The realization that I could inflict damage a Kythan couldn’t recover from scared me.
“I’ll practice it soon,” I said, getting up to go to my room. “I promise.”
“I’m proud of you, honey. I always knew you were special, but now you’re simply amazing.” She stood and walked toward the kitchen, and I headed upstairs.
Amazing? Even though I liked sparring and training with weapons, I’d never planned on actually hurting anyone—especially someone I loved. What I’d done didn’t feel amazing. I was excited about being able to control Charge and Flame, but at this point, I wanted nothing to do with the strange power that came from combining them. I feared if I shifted, I’d lose control…again.
I was getting ready to hop into my tub when I heard my bedroom door open. I cracked the bathroom door and peeked out. “Mom?”
“No, guess again,” Lana said. “I’m all better! And look at this.” She shifted her features. Her eyes shone fiercely as her ears pointed and her skin became like porcelain. She smiled, revealing two elongated eyeteeth. Then she rubbed her hands together, generating a blue glow. Pulling them apart, she strung a current between her palms. “The guys are so jealous that they can’t do this yet.” She laughed and doused her power.
“Lane!” I hugged her neck. “I didn’t think you’d be better yet. You look gorgeous.” She was wearing her signature leather pants and mini-corset. But it looked even better on her in the hot new Kythan form.
She hugged me back, then plunked down on my bed. “Well, I’m still a bit weak. But there’s no way I’m going to miss going out tonight with my best friend.” She eyed me. “Hey, I showed you mine, now show me yours, mama.” She raised her eyebrows at me.
I shook my head. “I’m still a little weak.” Then I quickly changed the subject. “What do you mean tonight? What’s going on?”
“Duh.” She rolled her eyes. “All the Shythe that are about to attend the Academy are partying it up. It’s one big blow out before we’re sent off. Where’ve you been?”
“Here.” I shrugged. “If you were busy recovering, how’d you hear about it?”
“I’ve got connections,” she said, punching something into her communicator. “Okay, Devon told me.”
“So, I’m guessing you want to see him tonight.” I sat down beside her.
“Of course. I’ll only be able to see him on the weekends after we go.” She pursed her lips. “But oh, I can’t wait. We’re going to have our own room and be away from our parents.”
“You got your housing information?”
She looked down her nose at me. “My dad is on the Council,” she said and tossed her hair off her shoulder. “Let’s just say, I begged…a lot, and got some strings pulled. So we’re bunking it together.” She smiled wide.
“That’s so freaking awesome.” I stood and walked to my bathroom. “Let me get cleaned up.” I halted near the door, my stomach dropping. Lana had surprised me and I’d forgotten all about Reese and our date. Crap.
“Dez, what’s wrong?”
I shook my head, smiling weakly. “Nothing. I just forgot I didn’t have Mom clean my favorite pair of breeches.”
“Oh, God. You and those breeches.” Lana bounced up and checked her reflection in my dressing mirror. “Before we go to the Academy, I’m taking you shopping for some new clothes. You really need to get a guy.”
I bit down on my lip. I could probably tell Lana about Reese, but I didn’t want to chance Jace finding out. I thought of his reaction to me dating a Narco…Nope. Not yet. I grabbed my pants and carried them into the bathroom with me, digging out my communicator after shutting the door.
I sent Reese a quick message, letting him know that Lana had stopped by and insisted we go out. I turned the dial on my tub, waiting for the water to fill while I watched my analog screen for his message.
Finally, it came: Understand. Some other time.
My heart ached. I hated that I couldn’t give him a normal night while being a normal couple. But the truth was, we weren’t. And for now, we had to keep hidden—our relationship as well as who we were. We weren’t supposed to exist. And as far as Haven was concerned, we weren’t supposed to date, either.