12
WHEN MY BREATHING had slowed to normal again and I was no longer worried about setting Demoiselle Noire’s house on fire, I pushed to my feet and walked to the white gazebo beside the concrete lake. Anger bubbled inside of me, helping to dull the worst of the pains in my back and along my arms. Before entering the gazebo, I was of half a mind to do a little Tower-style threatening to get Trixie free of the Summer Court, but there was no need.
Trixie gasped. She was already pale with worry, but her wide green eyes filled with tears at the sight of me. I was sweaty and bloody, but for the first time in my life, my soul felt dirty. Logically, I knew that my body’s reaction had been the result of magic and that I had been loyal to Trixie in my heart and in my head, but that logic failed to scrub away the gritty feeling on my soul.
She rushed across the gazebo, her arms open to embrace me. I opened my mouth to tell her not to touch me. That I was dirty. But the words never came up my throat. She crushed against me on a sob, her arms wrapping around my neck as she pressed her face into my throat.
“I love you,” she cried. She repeated the words over and over again, teary and soft.
They were the balm I had been looking for, healing the cuts on my heart and washing away the filth covering my soul. My arms came around her like a vise, clutching her as tightly as I could.
“It’s okay. I’m okay. Just had a little trouble with a hawthorn bush, that’s all,” I said in a light, teasing tone that was completely undermined by the ferocious hold I had on her.
“I love you,” Trixie repeated.
I closed my eyes and let those wonderful words sink into me again. She didn’t ask any questions. She didn’t say anything besides those three words, because it was her way of showing that it was okay, that we’d get through whatever happened. Trixie knew who, or rather what, I had met, and by my appearance, she knew that at least I put up a fight. I wasn’t sure if we’d ever talk about what occurred while we were separated, but I liked to think that she’d at least try to understand.
When I opened my eyes, I looked over Trixie’s head at the queen. She was sitting stiff on her little bench, one delicate hand pressed to her open mouth while tears glistened in her wide eyes. She was also looking pale.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered in a wavering voice. “I’ve made a terrible mistake.”
Regret. Not because she had attacked a warlock and was now afraid of retaliation. She regretted what she had done because she had hurt two people who didn’t deserve her venom. There were some people in this world who were born to be villains. They killed and tortured with no remorse. The queen of the Summer Court was not one of them. She had been carrying centuries’ worth of pain and anger around. It drove her to strike out and now she regretted her action.
A frown tugged at the corners of my lips. Trixie’s love and the queen’s regret had cooled the last of my anger so that I was ready to block the event from my mind.
“I forgive you,” I said in a rough voice as the words were lodged in my throat.
A thousand times over in my mind, I had thought that if the world was to ever find peace with the Towers, two things would need to happen. The warlocks and the witches would need to express regret and the world would have to forgive. How could I ever expect the world to do such a thing if I couldn’t do it myself?
Trixie loosened her tight hold on my neck and pulled back so that she could look up at me. I smiled a little at her shocked expression before pressing a quick kiss to her forehead.
“Shall we continue with our meeting?” I asked.
Trixie released me and we returned to our places before the queen. Reaching into my back pocket, I pulled out the white envelope and dropped it on the little table holding her teacup and saucer.
“Your fresh mint, Your Majesty,” I said.
With a slightly trembling hand, she reached forward and picked it up. Placing the crumpled, blood-streaked envelope in her lap, she gently ran her fingers over it while keeping her head down.
“What do you need of me next, Your Majesty?” I said, and her head popped up with a look of surprise. “I will do whatever task I must so that Rowena will no longer be pursued and barred from her people.”
The queen looked down at her hands in her lap and her shoulders slumped slightly. For a moment she looked uncomfortable, but it passed and her shoulders straightened again as she lifted her narrowed eyes to my face. “I’m older than I look to you. I remember back centuries, to a time when the warlocks and witches didn’t try to crush the races of the world. They were scholars and . . . healers.”
I nodded. “It’s sad that the Towers strayed from such a role.”
“When I spoke with Eldon, he intimated that you might be willing to lend some assistance in exchange for some leniency toward Rowena,” she said carefully.
“I would be honored to lend Your Majesty any assistance that I possibly can,” I said with a slight bow that had me grimacing as the movement caused fresh pain to shoot through my back. “However, I must interject one thing. While you’re correct in that I have a past with the Towers, certain choices I have made in that respect have resulted in . . . my hands being tied in a way.”
Her lovely faced twisted as she frowned. “What choices? In what way?”
I shoved my hands in my pockets and sighed. “The Towers ruled that if I was going to be permitted to leave, I had to give up magic.”
“But you . . .” Her voice drifted off as she motioned toward the gazebo entrance and a fresh look of horror slipped across her face. Yes, she had sent me to Demoiselle Noire de Gruchy with the idea that I would use magic to escape and now she was realizing that I had been in even more danger than she had believed.
I considered letting her twist with that thought for a moment, but tossed it aside. “I’ve found ways to do some quiet magic. It’s the big stuff that’s going to get me killed.”
The queen sat back against the little bench and stared at me for several seconds, confusion written on her face as she tried to puzzle something out. “And if what I required was not such a little quiet thing, would you do it? Would you risk your life for Rowena?”
“Yes,” I immediately replied.
“No,” Trixie snapped at the same time. She turned and laid her hands on my cheeks. “No, this stops now. You’re not casting any more spells, no matter what she asks.”
I placed my hand over one of hers, rubbing my thumb over the soft skin on the inside of her wrist. “As she’s pointed out, the warlocks and witches have done horrible things to your people. Isn’t it time a warlock did some good for your kind?”
“Gage, you weren’t one of the warlocks that hurt us. Damn it, you weren’t even born yet!” she said, blinking against the fresh tears gathering in her eyes. “You don’t have to pay for the sins of other people.”
“Then let me do it for you.”
Trixie’s hands slipped from my face and she wrapped her arms around my waist, pressing close. I winced but held her, laying my cheek against the top of her head. “After all the hate and anger and fear, let me do this one thing out of love,” I whispered.
“I can’t lose you,” she said, her voice muffled against my chest.
“You won’t. I haven’t agreed to anything yet. We’re talking.”
“You . . . love her, don’t you?” the queen asked in amazement.
“Very much,” I said, meeting the queen’s cool eyes.
“You are a strange one,” she murmured, bringing a chuckle from Trixie.
I smiled while hugging Trixie, easing the last of the tension that had been hanging in the air since my reappearance. “It’s one of my many charms.”
Raising her hands, the queen clapped loudly twice. “Chairs!”
I twisted around to see the guard at the entrance step aside as two elves entered carrying a pair of comfortable chairs, which were set before the queen. As the two newcomers left, she raised her hands again and made a little shooing motion. “Everyone leave me with my guests.” The three guards hesitated for several seconds, staring at me, before leaving the gazebo. I had no doubt that if I made one wrong move, they were going to be on me within seconds. They were gone, but not far.
I ushered Trixie over into a seat before slowly sitting beside her. Muscles were sore and my back was killing me, but it felt so damn good to sit down. To my shock, the queen pulled a lace handkerchief from her sleeve and offered it to Trixie.
“Thank you, Arianna,” Trixie murmured as she dabbed her eyes and dried her cheeks.
The queen chuckled at my confusion. “You will be further surprised to know that Rowena and I used to be close friends many years ago. When I could pull her away from her murals, she was one of my closest companions.” The queen looked away, blinking back tears before she turned back to us.
“It’s what made this mess an even bigger tragedy.” Trixie’s voice wavered. “I felt like I was betraying our friendship when I realized that I would be his choice for a consort. I had to run. Not just because I didn’t want him, but I didn’t want to betray you.”
I slumped in my chair and ran a hand roughly over my face. Why either woman hadn’t killed this a*shole yet was beyond me. He throws aside his beautiful wife so that he could chase after his wife’s best friend? I had heard of women shooting their husbands for less.
“But it doesn’t look as if love has been any kinder to you,” Arianna said, drawing my gaze back to her.
“What do you mean?” I said, a little more harshly than I had meant to.
She smiled. “An elf falls in love with the most despised creature on the planet, the scourge of her people. And to make matters worse, one who is despised even by his own kind. If I had to choose, I would keep my indifferent husband. He may not want me like he wants Rowena, but at least he won’t get me killed.”
“Arianna, please,” Trixie said.
I frowned at the queen. I didn’t need a reminder of the danger my presence posed to Trixie. “I believe you mentioned something about needing my assistance.”
Arianna chuckled lightly, a soft, dancing sound that somehow pushed aside my anger and growing tension. She was smiling again. Some of the earlier cold I had seen in her had melted away, making her look even younger and lovelier. How had her husband so easily tossed her aside? F*cking moron.
“Then again . . . maybe he isn’t such a bad choice.”
“You can’t have him,” Trixie warned.
“I know. For better or worse, my heart has made its choice,” she said absently, then turned her attention back to me, her expression growing serious. “As I’m sure you’ve been made aware, the reason my husband and I parted was that we couldn’t have children. The royal line needs to be protected, or we will face a dire threat from both the Winter Court and the Svartálfar. That is part of the problem. The larger issue is that most of our people are having trouble bearing children, and we’ve not been able to determine why or even trace it back to see if it is an issue with the mother or the father.”
Resting my elbow on the arm of the chair, I leaned my temple against my fist, trying to quiet the knots twisting in my stomach. “And you want me to help you conceive in hopes that it will result in helping the rest of your people as well?”
“It would go a long way to healing the wound caused by the Towers,” she added.
I was out of my depth with this, but the request wasn’t unexpected. Sure, I knew how babies were made. I was quite fond of that act and firmly believed in regular practice, particularly with Trixie, but all the other stuff that went into conception and whether it worked I didn’t know. With magical creatures like elves, I had a feeling a little more went into it than introducing a horny sperm to a sexy egg.
“I’m guessing that you tried the usual route of potions, prayers, and special herbs,” I hedged while I mentally dug through the knowledge I did have about childbearing.
“No, my husband and I didn’t try everything as he wasn’t interested once the difficulty was discovered,” Arianna said stiffly, but then added, a little more softly: “But others have and they still are childless.”
My eyes fell shut, blocking out the look of worry on her face. “I need some time to think, to research. I don’t think this is something I can fix with a quick spell and I’m not interested in being there to hold together a spell while you try to make a baby.”
Arianna gave me a smile that had me blushing a bit and Trixie clearing her throat. Yeah, didn’t need that mental image.
“If you’ve got any notes or research your own people have done, anything listing what has changed since you could have kids, it would help.”
The queen turned and reached behind a large pillow on the bench, pulling out a white book that she handed to Trixie. “It contains all the notes we’ve made. The problem started shortly before the Great War. It’s written in elvish, so Rowena will need to translate.”
I nodded. I spoke several languages, both human and other. The only words I knew in elvish were what Trixie occasionally shouted during sex and I didn’t think I’d find those in the queen’s little white book.
“I need some time.”
“Unfortunately, that’s something I can’t give you,” Arianna said, her tone once again becoming cold and brisk. “It’s now early September. In a few weeks, it will be the fall equinox. I will need to be with child before then so the baby can be born with the summer. My husband knows that I am meeting with Rowena. If something is not arranged soon, I am quite sure that he will make another grab for her.”
“Fine. A few days, then. Leave us with some way of contacting you in case we find something,” I said with an irritated wave of my hand. “I’m assuming that you have a . . . consort chosen should I come up with a solution.”
“I will have someone.” She was sitting up so straight that her spine could have been made of steel.
At the same time I slouched a little lower in my chair, balancing my left ankle on my knee as I turned over the situation. It didn’t feel fixed to me, not completely.
“If I come up with a solution, your problem is solved, but I’m not sure Trixie’s has been. Say you conceive with your consort. What happens to your husband?” I asked.
Arianna frowned a little. “He will remain king, but his line within the royal family will end. My consort’s family will rise in standing.”
“Would he be free to pursue a consort?”
“Yes.”
“So you would have a child, and he would be able to chase Trixie.” I shook my head. “I need a better fix.”
Trixie sighed. “Short of his death, I don’t see how we are going to get him to stop.” Her head then snapped up and she glared at me. “Not an option.”
I threw up my hands. “I didn’t even consider it.” Her frown deepened and I dropped my head back. “Okay, I didn’t consider it for long. I’m trying not to destroy the Summer Court.”
“There is one way,” Arianna said softly, drawing my eyes back to her face. She hesitated as if she didn’t want to say the words out loud. “If he was the father of the child, then he couldn’t have a consort. We would be bound to each other again.”
“You would take him back?” Trixie asked before I could.
“I would if I could be given some kind of assurance that his gaze won’t wander. I know he doesn’t love me and I can accept that, but I need the assurance that he will remain faithful to me.”
Trixie looked expectantly over at me and I shrugged. “We could tattoo them with the infinity heart, binding them to each other.” I looked over at the queen, whose delicate eyebrows had drawn together in question. “I’ve only ever used it on goblins, but it’s a type of binding tattoo. It doesn’t create feelings of love, but more of a deeper sense of connection and a need for unity. You’d both have to be tattooed for it to work. Just a small one on the interior of your left wrist.”
“And he won’t stray?”
“The thought would never cross his mind. Of course, you couldn’t either.”
“Very good. You will make it so that we can conceive and then you will tattoo us so that he will no longer pursue Rowena,” the queen said with her regal tone as if she was handing down a royal decree.
“And when all this is accomplished, Trixie can come back to her people without fear? She can stay with the Summer Court and then would be free to return to her other life if she wanted?”
Arianna nodded with a small smile. “She would be welcomed back. She should have no fear of being harassed or fear reprisals for all that has happened.”
Sitting up, I sighed with relief as I reached across and squeezed Trixie’s hand. That was what I was hoping for. I wanted her to no longer feel like she had to hide when she was in Low Town, but I also wanted her to be able to return to her people if there was trouble in my world. I looked up to find Trixie smiling at me, but there was something in her eyes, a question that made me wonder if she saw the direction of my thoughts as well.
I looked back at the queen, who appeared to be relieved by all this as well. “We need to be going. I’ve got a lot to work on. But before I go, I would like to pass along this warning.” I paused, licking my lips as I sorted through the information that I had. Arianna needed to know something, but I didn’t want to start a panic. “I’m sure you’re aware of yesterday’s destruction of Indianapolis.” Arianna had gone completely still to the point that I doubted that she breathed. “There is much I don’t know, and what I do know I am not comfortable talking about yet. There is a belief within the Towers that secret information has been stolen and the Towers feel threatened. There is also a belief that an elf is the culprit.”
Arianna became deathly pale before my eyes and I heard Trixie gasp as her hand tightened around my fingers.
“We’ve done nothing—” Arianna started, but I held up my hand, stopping her.
“I know that. But we both know that the Towers aren’t going to concern themselves with details like finding the identity of the true culprits, whether they are members of the Winter or Summer Courts, or if this is a lone Svartálfar acting in his own interests. For now, they are searching for the real culprit, but if the search stretches too long, if panic sets in, they will start killing indiscriminately.”
“What do you advise?” Arianna asked. The panic was gone from her voice, but she was still frighteningly pale as she clenched her hands in her lap.
“Stay calm and stay hidden as best you can. If you disappear completely, they will take that as a sign of guilt and will search in earnest for you. Until this is settled, stay alert and be ready to act at a moment’s notice.” I shook my head, feeling like shit. Her people were already struggling to survive, as they fought to simply bear children, and now I was dumping this in her lap. “I’m sorry that I can’t help you more.”
“You have already helped my people more than any other warlock by simply passing along this warning. I thank you.”
I looked over at Trixie, who seemed to be digesting this information. “Do you have a way of contacting her quickly and safely?”
She gave a jerky nod. “Yes, I can contact her.”
“Good.” I pushed to my feet, pulling Trixie up with me. “We’ll be in contact. I will try to find something as quickly as possible, but as you can see, I’ve got my hands full.”
“I understand,” Arianna said, taking a deep breath as she seemed to rein in the last of her emotions. “Gage, again I am sorry. I have sorely misjudged you.”
I frowned down at her, taking in her quiet strength and elegant poise. “You’re not the first, but you are one of the first to apologize, and I appreciate that.” I started to turn away with Trixie, but stopped to look at the queen. “And for what it’s worth, he doesn’t f*cking deserve you.”
Arianna smiled at me while Trixie laughed. “Maybe so,” the queen agreed coyly. “But nevertheless, he is a good king and cares for his people. If he had known there was a warlock who might help our people bear children, then he would have already spoken with you. Maybe not for the two of us, but definitely for our people.”
With a smile, I gave Arianna another of my stiff and awkward bows before ushering Trixie out of the gazebo, her body pressed close to my side. She was safe for now from some of the Summer Court elves, but I needed to feel her close. The end of that conversation had only reminded me that while I was one step closer to helping her, we were also one step closer to the whole world going to hell in a big f*cking handbasket.