chapter Twelve
I stared at Gabriel, frozen in place. My mouth opened, and I muttered something unintelligible. Maybe I shouldn’t have been surprised. It’s not like I didn’t know that’s what my future held, after my death at Arys’s hand. If Gabriel had merely reiterated the warnings of the other witches, I could have accepted it. Instead, he was confirming something I now realized I’d hoped might not come to pass. For the first time since forming the blood bond with my twin flame, I had to ask myself, would I rather be dead than be a vampire?
“You don’t want details,” Gabriel said. “I prefer not to give them. I’m not a walking, talking crystal ball. Things can always change. What I see isn’t written in stone.”
“Have you ever been wrong?” I asked nervously. “Has that ever happened that you know of? A change from what you saw?”
“Just once.” Picking up a small dagger, Gabriel pressed the blade to the inside of his palm. “You should probably leave. I’ve seen enough of your bloodlust to know I don’t want to spill any blood with you around.”
I beat a hasty retreat back into the house. The quiet lull of conversation between Arys and Jez died. Falon was nowhere to be seen. I didn’t doubt he’d run to tell Lilah their little secret had been revealed. It was time I paid the bitch a visit, too.
Shya spread his hands expectantly. “Satisfied? Gabriel and I had a little chat, and he’s more than happy to be here. Now, unless you have other business, I’ll have to ask you to leave.”
“I know what you’re doing, Shya.” I closed the patio door and turned my full attention on the haughty demon. “You talk a good game. You promise people things they didn’t even know they wanted. For the most part, you’re not so bad. Until you fail to get what you want.”
“Your point?” He did his best to appear bored.
“Your sweet talk might work on someone as young and new to this world as Gabriel, but I see right through you. I won’t be manipulated. I’ll find out what you’re up to, and when I’m done with Lilah, I’m coming back for you.” Sure, those words put my ass on the line, but I was furious and ready to fight back.
A fiery burst of energy accompanied Shya’s laughter. My instinctive reaction was to harden myself against it. It easily burned a hole in my shields. I made a split-second decision to pull the aggressive force through me, channeling it back out and into the earth beneath the foundation under my feet. It left me feeling uncomfortably hot inside but otherwise unharmed.
“I look forward to it,” Shya quipped. Rather than the anger I’d anticipated, he seemed impressed, genuinely pleased. “Your stubborn wishful thinking is endearing. It’s because of my so-called manipulation that you stand here right now. You could have been FPA property. Like your sister.”
Letting him antagonize me would be playing right into his hands. He and I were long overdue for a good ol’ fashioned knockdown, drag em out, ass kicking discussion. That day would come.
“You win,” I snapped. “I’m leaving.”
Jez fell into step beside me as I strode toward the door. I didn’t spare a last look for Arys. The weight of his gaze was upon me. I was so many kinds of pissed at him I couldn’t even think about it.
He caught up to me outside, as I knew he would. I reached for the car door handle, and he put out a hand to hold the door closed.
“Alexa, whatever you’re thinking, it’s wrong. I didn’t tell you I was coming here because there was nothing to tell.” He pressed close, forcing me to look up at him.
Jez got into the car, giving us the illusion of being alone. I refused to let go of the door. Arys could talk circles around himself if given the chance. I didn’t want to hear it.
“I just finished cleaning up a murder scene at Jez’s apartment. Another one of my wolves is dead. I am not in the mood to argue with you.”
“I don’t want you to be mad. I can’t stand it when you give me that look.” Arys reached to touch my face. I stepped back, avoiding the contact.
“You’re always going to do whatever the hell you want to do regardless of how I feel. If you want to let that bastard pull your strings, so be it. That’s your choice. Right now, I have bigger things to worry about, starting with my friend whose heart is breaking because of Shya’s f*ck up; he brought Lilah’s wrath down on all of us.” I jerked on the door handle until he finally released his hold on the door. “You’re making a mistake by being here.”
“I’m doing what I have to do in order to keep you safe. To keep us both safe,” he insisted, his blue eyes blazing.
“Now who’s being reckless?” I got into the car and slammed the door, cutting off his reply.
“Yikes,” Jez said, holding an unlit cigarette between her fingers. “Trouble in vampire paradise?”
“What else is new?” I muttered bitterly as I backed the car up so I could turn around in the driveway.
Arys stood there stiffly, watching until my car disappeared from sight. His prior refusal to cooperate with Shya had made sense. This sudden change of heart, it didn’t. Bad things would come of this.
“I thought you two were so well matched. In synch.”
“We are. That’s the problem. We’re both too damn hotheaded, and neither of us is willing to back down.” I cast a critical glance her way, tempted to yank the smoke from her hand. “Don’t light that nasty thing in here.”
She fiddled with it, putting it between her lips, then dropping it back in the pack. She was understandably restless. “He just wants to protect you, Lex. Is that so wrong?”
I manoeuvred the Charger down the dark gravel road, back to the city. I couldn’t wait to get home. “It could be. Arys has this halfwit idea that an alliance with Shya will benefit us both. I think it only benefits Shya. Arys is desperate. He’s afraid to lose me.”
“So you’re punishing the guy for being head over heels in love with you? Damn. I’m glad we never dated. I’d have to kick your ass.” Jez forced a wry smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes.
Her comment made me pause and reconsider. Was I overreacting? Demons didn’t make deals without ensuring they had something to gain. Until I knew what I meant to Shya’s personal plans, it was a risk we couldn’t afford to take.
I steered the conversation to a lighter topic, making idle chat as we crossed through the city and headed west toward home. Sunrise was creeping closer. The mental and emotional exhaustion began to take hold, but I’d get no rest anytime soon. I had to go through the rest of those files. I was certain Veryl had left something in there that would help me with Lilah.
As we entered my house, I asked Jez, “Are you hungry? I can toss a frozen pizza in the oven or something.” I stopped in the front hall, feeling for anything amiss. It was clear. “Or, if you prefer, we can go for a run. Hunt something with a heartbeat.”
“Thanks but I think I’m going to suck down a few cigarettes and take a bath. If you don’t mind.” Jez let herself out onto the back deck just off the kitchen. The flick of the lighter was quickly followed by a deep sigh.
I kicked off my boots and pulled out my phone. I wasn’t sure if angels slept. I had a question for Willow that wouldn’t wait, but first I had to call Kylarai and tell her about Zoey. It wasn’t a call I wanted to make; telling her about Zak had been hard enough. She’d cried, then I’d cried. Now, I’d let her down again.
Informing the town pack that a vampire had murdered the daughter of their former Alpha wasn’t going to win me any points. They already thought associating with me was dangerous. I was about to prove them right.
Kylarai cried again. I had expected that. As I told her what happened, I moved about my bedroom, shedding the leather pants and exchanging them for fuzzy PJs. I pulled my long hair into a ponytail, trying to get as close to relaxation as possible.
“It’s just so sad,” she sniffled, her voice loud over the speakerphone. “She was no saint, that’s for sure, but she deserved better.”
I didn’t have the heart to tell her a part of me felt relieved. I doubted if I’d ever say the words aloud.
“I’m sorry it happened,” I said instead. “I can’t let Lilah hurt anyone else. I have to stop her.”
“Don’t get yourself killed, Alexa. Please.” Kylarai’s voice was thick with tears.
“I don’t plan to. I’ve got to do something though, or she’ll keep coming after you guys. And, I can’t stand to lose anyone else. Be careful, ok? I’d die if anything happened to you.”
“You know me. I won’t go down without a hell of a fight. I’ll take the bitch with me if I can.” Passive aggressive and maybe a tad bipolar, Ky’s wolf spoke through those words.
By the time we hung up, Kylarai had gone from tears to fury. She volunteered to tell the rest of the pack what was happening. Two wolves had died in just a few days, and they wouldn’t take this well. Our small town pack consisted of school teachers, car salesmen, stockbrokers, and other werewolves trying to maintain a semblance of normalcy. Vampires and demons were not part of their world, but I was changing that.
Returning to the kitchen, I found Jez leaning against the island. Her phone was in her hands, and she was scrolling through photos of her and Zoey. My chest tightened and guilt slapped me.
I didn’t want to intrude on her moment. Words didn’t exist for what she was going through. Nothing I could say would make things better, so I got busy making a pot of coffee. I was going to need it to get through Veryl’s files.
“Are you sure you don’t want anything?” I asked. “Coffee? Liquor? Something to eat? I think I have some leftover chicken breast.”
She shook her head, never taking her eyes off the phone. “No, thanks. Maybe just some juice or something.”
I dug through the fridge, finding some pineapple smoothie stuff. I hated that my friend was in pain because of me, and even more, I hated that I could do nothing to change that. She didn’t blame me, but I blamed myself.
“There are clean towels in the hall closet upstairs.” I set a glass of smoothie in front of her. “You can use the main tub if you want, but the one in my bedroom has jets. Take your pick.”
She sipped from the glass. Selecting a specific picture, she handed me the phone. “I took that photo yesterday, when she was sleeping. Isn’t she beautiful?”
I gazed down at the photo. Zoey’s jet-black hair fanned across the pillow. She appeared peaceful in sleep, sane even. Except, the curve of her jaw reminded me of Raoul. I would forever remember the night she killed him, the night I failed to stop her.
“Yeah, she’s beautiful.” Swallowing the year-old pain of losing the first man I’d ever loved, I handed the phone back and turned away, busying myself with the coffee pot.
I waited until Jez went upstairs before calling Willow. While my laptop fired up, I sipped my coffee and hoped he would answer. Just as it was about to go to voicemail, his smooth voice came on the line, and I was crushed with relief.
He listened attentively while I again told the events of the night. I finished by asking, “Tell me, is there anything that will harm a fallen angel? Anything I can use against Falon to get him to tell me where she is.”
“Silver,” he replied calmly. “Pure silver will harm him as it will demons. Do you have a plan? If you allow your emotion to drive your decisions, it could backfire.”
“My emotion is what will get me through this. I can’t let her continue this killing spree. I’d rather hand myself over to her than watch more people die.”
“Let’s not get hasty. That’s exactly what she wants. I’m sorry to say this Alexa, but if she breaks her curse, so many more will die. Starting with you, I’m sure.” The clink of bottles in the background made me wonder if he was out drinking. It seemed to be the norm for him.
“I think I might have something I can use against her. I’ll fill you in when I know for sure. Is there a way for me to summon Falon? To force him to come to me?” I could almost feel his hesitation on the other end.
“In a manner of speaking, yes. But, you don’t want to do that, Alexa. It’s dangerous. He would seek revenge.”
A thought struck me. Lilah had messaged my phone. If the number she used was from a burner phone, I’d be screwed. If it wasn’t, however, it would be traceable right to her.
“I’m going to find Lilah, and as a last resort, I’ll use Falon to do it whether you tell me or not, Willow,” I declared, the wheels in my brain turning. “I have to confront her. The sooner the better.”
“Fine. I’m going to be there if you summon him.”
He wouldn’t be swayed despite my reluctance. It couldn’t hurt to have someone like Willow watching my back. I’d seen Falon’s power; fallen angels were not to be tangled with lightly. Yet, I didn’t feel right about bringing another person into my battle.
As we debated, I clicked around on the laptop and opened Veryl’s main folder. So many files were still unread. Until I’d absorbed every damn word in every damn file, I was determined to find that golden nugget of information, the gem that made Veryl’s death mean something. Otherwise, I’d killed him just to get my rocks off, which is what it essentially had been.
“I’ll call you back,” I said, distracted. “Don’t worry. I won’t get myself killed without my loaded guardian angel there to drunkenly back me up.”
“Hey,” Willow protested with a laugh. “I’m not always drunk. I just like to take the edge off.”
“Whatever you say.”
I ended the call and gave my full attention to the screen before me. With coffee in hand, I readied myself for as many hours as it took to weed through every word. I found something almost immediately that had me spewing coffee in shock.
Kale Sinclair’s brief history as a werewolf gives him a natural ability to understand the beasts. He knows their strengths and weaknesses. Though his mental stability is at times questionable, his loyalty is sound. His only flaw is his obsession with his sire. Given enough time, he shows much promise in assisting us with integrating shifters into the fold.
I reread the passage several times before it sank in. The tears I’d been fighting all night burst forth in an ugly crimson flood. Blood stained my hands as I raced to wipe them away. It didn’t make any sense. It just didn’t.
You never should have done this. The blood bond is not meant for one as free spirited as you. Kale’s words from almost a year ago echoed inside my head. I struggled to accept what I’d just read. Had the change to vampire destroyed his wolf?
“Why didn’t you tell me, you motherf*cker?” I cursed as the blood tears streamed silently down my face.
So many things fell into place. Kale had been my partner since Veryl recruited me. Now, it seemed obvious why. He was babysitting the new wolf, keeping an eye on me because he used to be one. When I rose as a vampire, I was going to lose my wolf.
I shook my head vigorously, praying that it wasn’t true. Suspicions flitted through my mind. I’d attributed Kale’s attraction to a metaphysical lure based on vampire power and energy manipulation. Perhaps it was his wolf all along. Maybe he saw in me what had been stolen from him.
The file went on to describe how Kale had been a military-infected werewolf used in espionage and black ops. Governments had been doing such things a long time it seemed. Then, he was sent to spy on a woman who happened to be a powerful vampiress. She changed him forever. No wonder Kale was barely sane.
Veryl hadn’t recorded nearly enough details. Having heard only bits and pieces of Kale’s past, I was flooded with questions. The shock took a long time to wear off. In the meantime, I stared at the screen until the words began to blur together.
The blood tears dried in macabre red lines beneath my eyes. A cold calm settled over me as denial took hold. I wasn’t going to lose my wolf; I couldn’t accept that.
Stiffly, I returned to the coffee pot for a refill. I stared down into the mug, watching as the cream swirled through the black liquid. As badly as I wanted to obsess over what I’d just read, I needed to bring Lilah down. I steeled myself for the return to the computer. Veryl had blackmail material on her, and I was going to find it.
Sunrise came and went. Arys never showed, but I was only mildly surprised. After the way I’d left things between us, he was likely fuming. Well, I wasn’t too thrilled either.
The sound of water rushing through the pipes broke the silence. Jez was finished with her bath. I restrained myself from running to tell her what I’d found on Kale. We had time for that later; the poor girl needed to rest.
I found many more things, though, from Lena and Brogan’s relation to one of the most powerful witch families in North America to bios and tidbits on people I’d never met. Fatigue pulled at my eyelids as worry nagged my thoughts. As I neared the end of the files, a sense of dread developed.
Then, I found Lilah’s file. I held my breath as I devoured everything in it. Cha-ching! I hit the jackpot.
“Thank you, Veryl,” I muttered aloud. “Your information hoarding has paid off.”
If I were Lilah, I’d have been worried, too. Veryl had some juicy dirt on her. Unfortunately, it wasn’t enough.
She was in hiding, fleeing a particular angel, Salem. I didn’t know a lot about angel and demon politics, but I knew that whatever it was, it couldn’t have been in Lilah’s best personal interest.
Veryl had no record of exactly why she’d been imprisoned, but being confined in the angelic cage made her vulnerable and desperate. Soon, she manipulated an angel into freeing her; however, without blood from a creature of the light, she was still only a vampire. On the run ever since, she constantly sought a way to free herself and reclaim her former glory before being found by those hunting her.
When I couldn’t fight the fatigue anymore, I shut down the computer. I had a lot to think about but enough information to play some cards during a confrontation with Lilah. Satisfied, I climbed the stairs toward bed.
Halfway up, I walked into a cloud of pain. Heavy and negative, it almost stopped me in my tracks. I shielded against the overwhelming sensation. The sound of muffled sobs drew me to the master bedroom where Jez lay curled in the fetal position in the middle of my bed. Her shoulders shook, and her hair fell across her face.
My worries faded when I saw her there. Jez needed me. That mattered more right now.
I sat on the edge of the bed and touched her arm. She grabbed my hand and squeezed, a small action laced with emotion. I swallowed hard as hot tears stung my eyes. Jez’s agony was strong, and I loved her so much. It was impossible not to feel her breaking.
We sat in silence for several minutes. I couldn’t say anything that would ease her pain, and I didn’t want to cheapen the moment with phony words.
“You can sleep in my bed. I’ll take the couch.” I finally said. “Can I get you an extra pillow? Anything?”
“Will you stay? I don’t want to be alone.” Jez’s voice was hoarse. Her grip tightened around my hand.
I climbed onto the bed beside her. The strong earthy scent of Were filled my nostrils. Curling myself around her, I hugged her close. The wolf within considered her pack. After missing Shaz so desperately, I found a sense of familial comfort in Jez. The affectionate touch of another Were gave me a soothing reassurance that was all about animal and pack. It felt natural. Right.
A cold panic gripped me. I was going to lose my wolf. My heart raced, and I had to concentrate hard on staying calm. I didn’t want Jez to smell my fear. This was no time to be self-centered. Her pain came first; my worry could wait.
I held tight to Jez, burying my face in her gold locks. Only after she fell asleep did I let myself fall into a fitful slumber. In my dreams, I was still holding her, but as a victim instead. Her scent was no longer that of a kindred being but of my prey. I saw only blood, tasted only death.
I awoke with my heart thundering in my ears. Even in my dreams, I couldn’t escape from the future I so desperately feared.