Dark Lycan (Carpathian)

Fen shook his head, disturbed that he might sound like he didn’t want anyone else to be like him. It was a fine line he walked, giving what he felt was pertinent information and not sounding arrogant.

Mikhail seemed to recognize his reluctance. “You do not have to hide what you feel from us,” the prince said. “We’ve asked you here to help us find a viable solution to this problem—and it is a problem. A complex one, the more I study it. I looked at it from every angle and something occurred to me. There is great power in my family, but it comes with a terrible price. I think there has to be a balance, and with the gifts given to us, there is always a price to pay, so I had to ask myself, what is the price of being a Sange rau? Only you can answer that question for us, Fen.”

Fen felt the ancient warriors waiting for his answer. The air grew heavier as silence descended in the chamber. A few of the great columns vibrated, darker colors swirling through the stone giving the illusion that the chamber itself was alive.

He sighed. He had come here knowing that Mikhail would be intelligent enough to ask the right questions. He’d seen it in him. They all had to know the truth—especially Tatijana and Dimitri.

“The price is far too high, Mikhail,” Fen answered honestly. “Especially for a warrior without a lifemate, but even those of us who have a lifemate are not necessarily as safe as our Carpathian counterparts. At first, yes, the wolf helps. You can see as a wolf does, the colors are dull, but better than nothing. But as time passes, the pull of darkness grows until it crouches like a monster above you and whispers continually.”

He didn’t look at his lifemate or his brother. He looked around the great chamber at the vibrating columns—ancient brethren who had lived their lives honorably—no matter the difficulty.

“I think every Carpathian who lives a long time and battles the vampire successfully, comes to a place where he believes in himself. He has to. He has to have absolute confidence in himself. Confidence can lead to arrogance. Carpathian males lose emotion and in some ways it is both a blessing and a curse. To feel, when you destroy old friends and family, to live year after year in darkness, is pure hell. To be Sange rau is to fight feelings of arrogance and superiority every rising, lifemate or no. I believe that if you give into these feelings, even with a lifemate, you can become vampire/wolf. Obviously I haven’t tested this theory.”

Again there was a silence. He could feel Tatijana’s horror rising. You understand now my reluctance to bind you to me. There was shame in knowing he hadn’t disclosed the worst of his fears to her before claiming her for his own.

Again, Tatijana surprised him. Soft melodic laughter filled his mind. I do not feel horror at your admission, my love, only at your belief that you would ever succumb to the darker impulses of our kind.

We do not know that. There is no way of telling what I would do in a moment of madness. You saw into my mind when I fought with the werewolf to get information from him and again, when I was battling Abel and Bardolf. I believed myself superior even to them. Fen made the confession to her reluctantly.

Silly wolf man.

He was shaken by the love in her voice. She could bring him to his knees so easily.

We have spent most of our time in battle or in the ground healing since you claimed me. How can you possibly know how having a lifemate will affect the feelings of superiority? I can assure you, my love, that Dragonseeker women are superior and therefore, you won’t have a leg to stand on.

Her teasing note soothed him as nothing else could. And she had a good point.

Of course I have a point. You knew it was dangerous to access the rogue werewolf’s memories, but you did it anyway. Of course there were repercussions. You expected that. And every single warrior facing a vampire must believe that he can defeat him. Acknowledging that you are smarter and faster and more skilled than a vampire is the only intelligent thing to do. You did what every Carpathian hunter does. You’re so worried about it that you are not remembering what it is like to be a hunter.

Fen hadn’t considered it, but she was right. Every Carpathian male who hunted the vampire did so believing he could destroy the undead. He reached his hand out to her, telling her without words that he loved her.

Mikhail frowned as he paced with restless energy through the great columns of his ancestors while he thought about what Fen said. No one interrupted him. Fen was grateful that Mikhail was the kind of man who didn’t simply react to information. He digested it carefully, looking at it from every angle before he made decisions.

“Another concern I have is evolution itself,” Mikhail said, coming back to stand in front of him. “Our species is near extinction. Could this be a more evolved species? The combination of our blood with the Lycans?”