Would Zarek ever allow her or anyone else to love him?
"What can I say to you so you'll believe?" she asked back. "You'd laugh if I said I cared for you. You'd walk off angry if I said I loved you. So you tell me why I don't want you to die."
She felt the muscles of his jaw working underneath her hand. "I wish I could get you out of here, princess. You don't need to be with me."
"No, Zarek, I don't. But Iwant to be with you."
Zarek winced as she spoke the most beautiful words he'd ever heard in his life.
She amazed him. There were no walls between them now. No secrets. She knew him in a way no one ever had.
And she wasn't repulsed by him.
He didn't understand her. "I don't even want to be with me most of the time. Why do you?"
She gave him a shove. "I swear, you're like a three-year-old. Why? Why? Why? Why is the sky blue?
Why are we here? Why does my dog have fur? Some things just are, Zarek. They don't have to make sense. Accept them."
"And if I can't?"
"Then you have worse problems than Thanatos wanting you dead."
Create PDF files without this message by purchasing novaPDF printer (http://www.novapdf.com) He thought about that for a little while. Could he accept what she offered him?
Did he dare?
He didn't know how to be a friend. He didn't know how to laugh from pleasure or be nice.
For a man who was over two thousand years old, he really knew very little about life.
"Tell me, princess. Honestly. How are you going to judge me?"
She didn't hesitate to respond. "I'm going to acquit you if I can."
He laughed bitterly at that. "I was condemned for something I didn't do and acquitted for what I did.
There's something not right about that."
"Zarek—"
"And will they accept your judgment now?" he asked, interrupting her. "You're not exactly impartial, are you?"
"I…" Astrid paused as she considered that. "They will accept it. We just have to find a way to prove to them that you are safe to be with other people."
"You don't sound too sure about that, princess."
She wasn't. Not once in all eternity had she breached the impartiality oath.
With Zarek she had.
"Lie down, Zarek," she said, pulling at his shoulder. "We both need to rest."
Zarek did as she said. To his chagrin and delight, she laid her head down on his chest and snuggled close.
He'd never held a woman like this and he found himself running his hand through her long blond hair.
Spreading it out over his chest. He tilted his head so that he could look down at her.
She had her eyes closed as she idly traced circles on his chest, around his nipple, which was hard and swollen underneath his black jersey shirt.
He felt a closeness to her that was indescribable. If he knew how, he would wish they could stay like this forever.
But dreams and hopes were as alien to him as love and kindness.
Unlike her, he didn't see a future.
He only saw his death clearly in his mind.
Create PDF files without this message by purchasing novaPDF printer (http://www.novapdf.com) Even if Thanatos didn't kill him, there was no use wishing he could stay with Astrid.
She was a goddess.
He was a slave.
He had no place in her world any more than he had a place in the realm of mortals.
Alone. He was always alone. And he would remain that way.
It didn't matter if he survived Thanatos. He was living only to see her safe.
Sighing, he closed his eyes and forced himself to go to sleep again.
Astrid listened to Zarek as he slept. His hand was buried in her hair, and even while unconscious, he held on to her as if afraid to let her go.
She wished she could get inside his head again. Wished for a moment where she could stare into his midnight-black eyes and see the beauty of her dark warrior.
But it wasn't his face and body that made her burn for him.
It was the man he was inside his battered and bruised heart. The one who was able to create poetry and art. The one who hid his vulnerability behind barbs and stinging retorts.
And she loved him. Even when he was mean and nasty. Even when he was angry.
But then, she understood that part of him.
How could anyone bear so much pain and not be scarred by it?
And what would become of him now?
Even if she did get her judgment to stand she doubted Artemis would ever let him leaveAlaska .
He would be trapped here forever.
She shuddered at the thought of his isolation.
And what of her?
How could she go back to her life without him? She actually liked being with him. He was amusing in a very salty sort of way.
"Astrid?"
She lifted her head, amazed at the sound of her name on his lips. It was the first time he'd used it outside of his dreams. She hadn't even realized he was awake.
Create PDF files without this message by purchasing novaPDF printer (http://www.novapdf.com)
"Yes?"
"Make love to me."
She closed her eyes and savored those words as much as she had savored her name.
Impishly, she arched a brow at him. "Why?"