No one had ever wanted him near them.
He thought he'd learned to not care.
And yet Astrid's simple words touched the same foreign part of him that Acheron's had.
Getting out of bed, he dressed, then went to find her.
Zarek stood in the doorway, watching her as she made pancakes in the microwave. She was amazingly self-sufficient given her blindness.
The wolf looked at him and growled.
Astrid cocked her head as if listening to see if she could hear him. "Zarek? Are you in the room?
"
"Doorway." He didn't know why he told her that. He didn't know why he was still here.
Granted, the storm was still ferocious, but he'd journeyed through many such storms during the centuries when he had lived up here without modern conveniences. There was a time not that long ago when he would have had to scrounge for food in the dead of winter. Melt snow so that he would have something
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"I've made pancakes. I don't know if you like them, but I have blueberry and maple syrup or fresh strawberries if you'd rather.
"
He went to the counter and reached for a plate.
"Sit, I'll bring it to you.
"
"No, princess," he said sharply. Having been forced to serve others, he refused to have anyone serve him. "I can fix it myself.
"
She held her hands up in surrender. "Fine, Prince Charming. If there's anything I can respect, it's those who take care of themselves.
"
"Why do you keep calling me that? Are you mocking me?
"
She shrugged. "You call me 'princess,' I call you 'Prince Charming.' I figure turnabout is fair play.
"
Giving her a grudging amount of respect, he reached for the bacon that was lying on a saucer by the stove. "How do you fry this when you can't see it?
"
"The microwave. I just push the timer for it."
The wolf came over and started sniffing at his leg. It looked up at him as if it were offended and started barking at him.
"Shut up, Benji," he snarled. "I don't want to hear about my hygiene from someone who licks his own balls."
"Zarek!" Astrid gasped. "I can't believe you just said that."
He clenched his teeth. Fine, he wouldn't speak anymore. Silence was what he was best at anyway.
The wolf whined and yapped.
"Shh," she soothed. "If he doesn't want to bathe, it's none of our business."
His appetite gone, Zarek set his plate on the table and returned to his room where he couldn't offend them anymore.
Astrid felt her way to the table, expecting to find Zarek there. All she found was his plate of uneaten food.
"What happened?" she asked Sasha.
"If he had feelings, I would say you hurt them. Like as not, he went back to the room to find a weapon so he can kill us.
"
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"Sasha! Tell me what happened just now.
"
"Okay, he put the plate down and left.
"
"What did he look like?
"
"Nothing. He didn't show any kind of emotion.
"
That didn't help her at all.
She went after Zarek.
"Go away," he snapped after she knocked on his door and pushed it open.
Astrid stood in the doorway, wishing she could see him. "What do you want, Zarek?
"
"I…" his voice trailed off.
"You what?
"
Zarek couldn't speak the truth. He wanted to be warm. Just once in his life, he wanted warmth. Not just physical but mental warmth.
"I want to leave.
"
She sighed at his words. "You'll die if you go out there.
"
"So what if I do?
"
"Does your life truly have no value or meaning to you?
"
"No, it doesn't.
"
"Then why haven't you killed yourself?
"
He snorted at that. "Why should I? The only enjoyment I have in my life is knowing I piss off everyone around me. If I were dead, it would make them all happy. God forbid I should ever do that.
"
To his surprise, she laughed. "I wish I could see your face to know if you were joking or not.
"
"Trust me, I'm not.
"
"Then I'm sorry for you. I wish you had something that made you happy.
"
Zarek looked away from her. Happy. He didn't even understand that word. It was as alien to him as kindness. Compassion.
Create PDF files without this message by purchasing novaPDF printer (http://www.novapdf.com) Love.
Now there was a word that never entered his vocabulary. He couldn't imagine what others must feel.
For love, Talon had almost died so that Sunshine could live. For love, Sunshine had bartered her soul to free Talon.
All he knew was hatred, anger. It was the only thing that kept him warm. The only thing that kept him living.
So long as he hated, he had a reason to live.
"Why do you want to live here in this cabin alone?
"
She shrugged. "I like having my own place. My family visits me often, but I'd rather be alone.
"
"Why?
"
"Because I hate to be babied. My mother and sisters act as if I'm helpless. They want to do everything for me.