Chapter 14
Pam flipped through the papers Nicole has finished. “Bored much?”
“You don't even know.” Nicole snorted. “There is only so much I can do around here. My apartment has never been this clean....ever. Please tell me you talked them into letting me come back.”
“Mitch is working on it.” Tossing the paperwork on her briefcase, Pam sat at the kitchen bar. “At least they are letting you do paperwork here.”
“Nothing has happened.” Nicole flipped her hands up in frustration. “Seriously Pam, I think this whole thing was a bunch of crap. I mean, I don't even need around the clock bodyguards anymore.”
“I believe that is because you refused their services so they could use their talents looking for the ones responsible for all of this so you could get back to your job.” Pam replied in one breath flipping her fingers up doing air quotations.
Rolling her eyes Nicole took a bite out of the sandwich Pam brought her. “Well, it’s true. The children are suffering, not me. The more warriors they have working on this the better.”
“And....there she is again....Mother Teresa in the flesh.” Plopping a chip into her mouth Pam grinned. “You never cease to amaze me.”
“Whatever Pam. You take your job as serious as I do.”
“They think Chad's missing.” Pam laid that bombshell out.
“What?” Nicole sputtered, water dribbling out the corner of her mouth.
“He never came in to pick up his last paycheck or clean out his desk. Mitch just thought he was pissed, but then the police came by saying the neighbor's had called because his mail was overflowing the mailbox and newspapers were all over his driveway. No one has seen him since the night at the hospital.” Pam twirled her phone around on the counter, deep in thought. “They think it's all connected. The attempts on your life, Mitch's and now Chad.”
“So that means I am still out of work.” Nicole grimaced at how shallow that sounded. She and Chad had issues, but that didn't mean she wanted to see anything terrible happen to him.
“It doesn't look promising.”
“That is so unfair. I mean all of you are taking a chance so what makes me so special?” Nicole hissed, slamming her hand on the table.
“Honestly.” Pam cocked an eyebrow. “We, as in all of us, are not sleeping with one of the highly acclaimed warriors.”
Totally taken back, Nicole was speechless for a minute. “Excuse me?”
“Oh, yeah.” Pam nodded. “I got the scoop from Mitch.”
“Spill it friend. What scoop?” Nicole knew for a fact she was not going to like this one bit.
“That Damon told Mitch if you weren't pulled off the job he would have the Council pull all the warriors out.” Pam shook her head. “I just found this out today when I talked to Mitch about you coming back to work.”
“That son of a bitch.” Nicole yelled, stomping around the kitchen looking for something to throw. Picking up a glass she threw it into the sink. She had never felt more betrayed in her life. He knew how much her job meant to her and to have it taken away because of him.
“Ahhh...Nicole you're bleeding.” Pam got up to get a wet paper towel.
Swiping her cheek with her shaking hand she saw the blood which ticked her off more because memories from a month ago when Damon had refused her blood came back slamming into her mind. “Where is he?”
“Who Mitch?” Pam handed her the towel.
“No, that no good, blood suckin vamp.” Nicole grabbed her purse heading for the door. “You coming?”
“Are you freakin kidding? I wouldn't miss this for the world.” Pam grabbed her stuff and hurried out the door.
Nicole, with Pam following closely, slammed into the warehouse looking around.
“What the hell happened to your face Callahan?” Mitch bellowed stomping her way.
Okay, that was definitely a case of deja vu taking her back a step. Out of the corner of her eye she could see Pam shaking her head at Mitch in warning. “Not now Mitch. I'll get to you later.”
Jared walked up to them at that moment. “Everything okay?” His eyes went to each of them before landing on Nicole.
“No, everything is not okay.” Nicole frowned. “Where is he?”
“Who?” Jared crossed his arms, his stance spread wide.
She went to go past him to find Damon herself, done with the games, but he blocked her path. “I'll tell him you're here and if he wants to see you then he will.” Jared glared down at her.
“Did you know?” Nicole felt her chin quiver and bit her lip hoping to stop it.
Jared just stared at her for a minute then nodded. She knew her mind was so wide open he could probably read what she had for lunch a week ago. “Yeah, I did know, we all agreed that it was the best for you.”
Closing her eyes, she dropped her head. “How could he do that to me?”
“He was trying to keep you safe.” Jared shook his head. “Is your job more important than your own life?”
“My job is my life.” She brought her eyes back to his, not answering his question directly. “It wasn't his decision to make.”
“I disagree.” Jared replied, his gaze softening a bit. “As your protector he had every right. You can't save the world Nicole.”
“I'm not trying to save the world.” Nicole lashed back turning and heading toward the door. “Just the ones that can't save themselves.”
“I will see what I can do to get you back on.” Mitch told her as she passed. “If they pull out, then they pull out.”
“You bet your ass you will Mitch or I swear I will go to a different county.” Nicole pushed open the door walking into the night. She really didn't know what in the hell she wanted anymore. This whole thing had turned her world upside down and she didn't know what to do, what to think or who to trust. Pam followed her out.
“Nicole...wait.” Pam ran up beside her.
Nicole stopped in front of Pam's car. “I don't know what to think anymore Pam. I mean I don't want some pity party, I just want my life back. It wasn't the greatest, but it was mine. I know I'm anal about that, but I can't help it.”
“I understand.” Pam nodded and she truly did because she knew Nicole better than anyone. “I also understand their need to protect. I have learned a lot since working with Jared and I really think you need to talk to Damon.”
Shaking her head, Nicole snorted. “No.” She headed toward the passenger side of the car, but before she could open the door she heard the door lock click. Looking up she saw Pam holding the key lock.
“Do you realize since that night you have not said his name?” Pam crossed her arms. “Jared said he is not doing any better than you are since that night. And do you know that he sits outside your apartment every night watching to make sure you're safe and if he can't, he makes sure someone else does?”
Nicole glanced up, eyes wide in shock.
“Come on Nicole. Do you really think that after all they have done Damon would just say, 'Oh, okay, well see ya around' and leave you without protection.” Pam rolled her eyes.
“I didn't think....” Nicole shook her head. God what a freakin mess. “I told him that I didn't need their protection....that I didn't want their protection.”
“Why? Because he didn't want your blood.” Pam shook her head. “You know Nicole I love you like a sister, but I really think you're wrong. I told you your heart was going to be in this for the long haul and dammit, I was right. You love him and to protect yourself, you pushed him away without even finding out why he refused your blood.”
“I don't love him....” The lie stuck in her throat. “anymore.”
“And once again I call bullshit.” Pam pointed at her. “You know I never figured you for a coward. You were probably the bravest person I have ever met, but now I don't see that in you at all. All I see is a woman who is letting others dictate her life and all you can do is yell and be pissed. Why don't you help yourself like you have a hundred times in the past and talk to him?”
Okay, that was harsh, but Nicole figured well deserved. “Yeah, well guess that won't happen since Jared won't tell me where he is.”
“He's right behind you leaning on his bike. He must have been on watch detail and followed us here.” Pam giggled at the horrid look that crossed Nicole's face.
“Are you serious?” Nicole paled.
“As a heart attack.” Pam grinned. “And he is looking at you like he could gobble you up.”
“I'm gonna kick your ass.” Nicole grunted then turned around.
“Yeah, get in line chick.” Pam unlocked her car and got in to wait, a wicked grin stretched across her face.
Nicole charged across the parking lot ready to let loose on the vamp, but slowed when she caught site of Damon. “You look like hell.”
That half grin that she loved so much curved his lips. “You look beautiful as always.”
Okay, that was a new one. He'd never complimented her like that before and it turned her brain to mush sending all kinds of girly feelings through her body. A small sigh escaped her lips before she straightened her spine. Dammit....get a grip girl. You don't need what's left of your heart stomped on. “Why did you do it Damon?”
He didn't even hesitate before answering. “To keep you safe.”
“I'm not the only person doing this job.” She countered, trying her best not to step toward him, wanting so badly to touch him and have him hold her. It had been such a hard month trying to get over this man and now seeing him so close brought it all back like a punch to the stomach.
“You're the only one targeted.”
His voice was strong and sure while hers was shaking and crackly....the jerk. Didn't anything about her affect him. “Not true. Mitch was targeted.” Then added. “What about Chad missing. That could be related.”
“He went after Mitch because he wanted to get to you. As for Chad, we don't know yet.” Damon sighed. “Listen Nicole, we have been through this again and again. I did what I had to do for you and nothing more. You have not been fired and will be back to doing what you love as soon as we catch this bastard.”
Nicole rolled her eyes then turned to walk away. “Yeah, well hurry the hell up. I want to get back to work.” Well, that was a train wreck. “And I didn't ask for you to do anything for me.”
“I can't mate with you Nicole.” Damon replied his voice hard and firm.
Nicole stopped, but didn't turn around. Closing her eyes tightly she held as much hurt back as she could. “And you are reminding me of this again because....?”
“I miss you.” His answer was low, but loud enough for her to hear.
Turning around she took a step closer her head tilted slightly. “You miss me?”
He straightened from the bike taking a step closer. “Yeah, I do.”
No, Nicole screamed inside her head. Don't do it girl. “Well...I miss you too.” She whispered. “But I can't be with someone who cannot be honest with me and trust me to share certain things. I know you won't take my blood or mate with me or turn me. What I don't know is why. And I can't live with that. You know all about my life, but I know nothing of yours. I want to know everything about the man I love, be able to share everything with him good or bad and well, I can't compromise on that. I'm just not made that way.”
Damon was silent long enough that Nicole almost turned to leave, but he cleared his throat. “The first moment I saw you walk into the gym I had an overwhelming need to protect you. Nothing else but protecting you matters and I will go to any extremes to achieve it.” Damon's eyes turned dark. “You were my total focus and I couldn't stop thinking about you. We react that way when we find our mate.”
Nicole's eyes widened, but she kept silent not wanting him to stop.
“If I take your blood Nicole you would be my mate.” He took a step forward.
“And why is that a bad thing Damon?” Nicole could not understand.
“Because I killed the last human who was to be my mate.” His eyes never left hers. “I never had the feelings for her that I have for you, but I still wanted to be mated with her and was determined to do so.”
Nicole frowned, embarrassed by the fact she was jealous of a dead woman. “How did you kill her Damon?”
“I was a young vampire then and didn't have control. She offered her blood to me and once I started I went into a frenzy and couldn't stop. The next thing I knew I was holding her as her eyes stared up at me in horror.” Damon finally looked away from her. “Her last breath whispered my name.”
“My God.” Nicole walked up to him wrapping him in her arms. “I'm so sorry Damon.”
Damon held her close for a moment before gently holding her away. “I cannot live through that again Nicole and with you the draw is strong, so much stronger. I would rather die a thousand deaths than to ever hurt you.” Damon tipped her chin up so he looked deep into her eyes. “I just wanted to let you know that this has nothing to do with you. It's all me and I wish things could be different because if there was any woman I would be honored to be mated to it would be you Nicole.”
Nicole locked her knees so she wouldn't melt to the parking lot. Was it possible for a heart to break twice so soon? A tear leaked its way out rolling slowly down her check and stopped by his rough thumb before it could drip from her chin. “But it could be different.” She voiced her hope out loud.
Shaking his head sadly he took a step back. “It's not a chance I'm willing to take.” When he saw her start to talk again he put a finger to her lips. “Ever.”
Nicole bit her lip to stop from begging him. Lifting her hand up touching his cheek. “If you ever change your mind you know where I am.” Then she lifted up on her tiptoes and whispered close to his ear. “I have confidence that you would never hurt me....ever.” She turned away, her heart in her throat.