Chapter Twenty-nine
None of us but the major general.
Toot dropped down from where he’d been crouched atop a bookcase, intercepting Hook’s darting black form, and tackled the other little faerie to the floor in the middle of the living room. They landed with a thump on the carpeting, wings still blurring in fits and starts, and tumbled around the floor in irregular bursts and hops, sometimes rolling a few inches, sometimes bounding up and coming down six feet away.
Toot had planned for this fight. He’d tackled Hook into the carpet, where the hooks on his armor would get tangled and bind him, slowing him down. Furthermore, Toot’s hands were wrapped in cloth until it looked like he was wearing mittens or boxing gloves, and he managed to seize Hook by the hooks on the back of his armor. He swung the other little faerie around in a circle and then with a high-pitched shout flung him into the wall.
Captain Hook slammed into the wall, putting gouges in the freshly painted drywall, then staggered back and fell to the ground. Toot bore down with a vengeance, drawing his little sword, and the armored figure held up a mailed fist. “Invocation!” he piped in a high, clear voice. “I am a prisoner! I invoke Winter Law!”
Toot’s sword was already in midswing, but at those last two words he checked himself abruptly, pulling the weapon back. He hovered there over Hook with his feet an inch off the ground, gritting his teeth, but then he buzzed back from Hook and sheathed the sword.
“Uh,” I said. “Toot? What just happened?”
Toot-toot landed on the kitchen counter next to me and stomped around in a circle, clearly furious. “You opened your big fat mouth!” he screamed. After a moment, he added, sullenly, “My lord.”
I frowned at Toot and then at Hook. The enemy sprite just sat there on the floor, making no further effort to escape. “Okay,” I said. “Explain that.”
“You offered to take him prisoner,” Toot said. “By Winter Law, if he accepts your offer he may not attempt escape or offer any further resistance to you for as long as you see to his needs. Now you can’t kill him or beat him up or anything! And I was winning!”
I blinked. “Yeah, okay, fine. So let’s make with the questions already.”
“You can’t!” Toot wailed. “You can’t try to make him betray his previous covenants or terror-gate him or anything!”
I frowned. “Wait. He’s a guest?”
“Yes!”
“By Winter Law?” I asked.
“Yes! Sort of.”
“Well,” I said, starting toward Hook. “I never signed on to that treaty. So screw Winter Law—”
And abruptly, as if someone had just slammed a row of staples into my skin, the mantle of the Winter Knight vanished completely. Pain soared back into my body, inflamed tissue crying out, my bruises throbbing, the edemas beneath my skin pounding with a horrible tightness. Fatigue hit me like a truck. The sensations were so intense, the only way I could tell that I had fallen to the floor was by looking.
And my body abruptly went numb and useless from my stomach down.
That scared the hell out of me and confirmed one of my worst fears. When I’d consented to serve Mab, my back had been broken, my spine damaged. Taking up the mantle had covered what would probably have been a crippling and long-term injury. But without it, my body was only mortal. Better than most at recovering over time, but still human. Without the mantle, I wouldn’t have legs, bladder or bowel control, or, most important, independence.
I was on the ground like that for a subjective week, but it could have been only a few seconds before Thomas reached my side, with Murphy, Butters, and Molly right behind him. I knew they were there because I could see them, but their voices swam down to me from what seemed like a great distance among the cacophony of raking sensations scouring my nervous system. They lifted me to a sitting position—and then abruptly the pain was gone, and my legs started moving again, jerking in a single, gentle spasm.
The mantle had been restored.
“Okay,” I said in a ragged voice. “Uh. Maybe we won’t screw Winter Law.”
“Harry,” Thomas said, as if he’d said my name several times already. “What happened?”
“Uh,” I said. “I think it’s . . . a side effect. Fallout from defying the order of things.”
“What?” he asked.
“Faeries,” I said. “They’re kind of insane, and mischievous, and dangerous as hell, but they all share one trait—they’re good to their word. They obey what they recognize as law. Especially Mab.”
“You aren’t making much sense right now,” Thomas said.
“The mantle of power comes from Mab. And now it’s in me. But it’s still a piece of her. If I go violating her own realm’s laws, it looks like the mantle isn’t going to have my back.”
“Meaning what?”
“Meaning I’d better figure out what the laws are pretty damned quick,” I replied. “Help me up.”
Thomas hauled me to my feet and I looked at Toot. “You know the Winter Law?”
“Well,” Toot said as if I were an idiot, “of course.”
“Where can I learn it?”
Toot tilted his head. “What?”
“Winter Law,” I said. “Where can I learn it?”
“I don’t understand,” Toot said, tilting his head the other way.
“Oh, for the love of . . .” I pinched the bridge of my nose between my thumb and forefinger. “Toot. Can you read?”
“Sure!” Toot said. “I can read ‘pizza’ and ‘exit’ and ‘chocolate’!”
“All three, huh?”
“Absolutely.”
“You’re a scholar and a gentleman,” I said. “But where did you learn Winter Law?”
Toot shook his head as if mystified. “You don’t learn it, Harry. You just . . . know it. Everyone knows it.”
“I don’t,” I said.
“Maybe you’re too big,” Toot said. “Or too loud. Or, you know—too human.”
I grunted. Then I eyed Hook, who had continued to sit in the same spot during the entire conversation. “So I’ve gone and made him my guest, eh?”
“Well. More like your vassal.”
I frowned. “Uh? What?”
“That’s what surrender is, duh,” Toot said. “His life is yours to do with as you please. And as long as you don’t starve him or make him an oathbreaker, you can tell him to do whatever you want. And if his liege wants him back, he has to pay you for him.”
“Ah. Medieval-style ransom.”
Toot looked confused. “He did run some, but I stopped him, my lord. Like, just now. In front of you. Right over there.”
There were several conspicuous sounds behind me, the loudest from my apprentice, and I turned to eye everyone else. They were all either covering smiles or holding them back—poorly. “Hey, peanut gallery,” I said. “This isn’t as easy as I’m making it look.”
“You’re doing fine,” Karrin said, her eyes twinkling.
I sighed.
“Come on, Toot,” I said, and walked over to Hook.
The little faerie sat there, apparently ignoring me, which took considerable nerve. If I fell or stepped on him, it would be like a tree falling on a lumberjack. If I were trying to hurt him, physically, I could twist him up like Stretch Armstrong.
On the other hand, Hook was a faerie. It probably never even occurred to him that I might violate Mab’s laws.
“The prisoner will stand and face the Za Lord!” Toot shrilled.
Hook obediently got up and turned to face me.
“Identify yourself, please,” I said. “I don’t want your Name. Just something to call you.”
“By some I am called Lacuna,” he replied.
“Suits me, Lacuna,” I said. “Remove the helmet, please. I want to see who I’m supporting.”
Lacuna reached up and removed the face-shrouding helmet.
She was gorgeous.
Fine black hair bound into a braid at least a foot long spilled down out of the helmet when she did. Her skin was paper white, her huge eyes black all the way through. There were small markings or tattoos of some kind in deep purple ink on her skin, but they shifted slightly as I watched, some fading from sight, others appearing. Her features were long and very lean. She had a straight razor’s elegant, dangerous beauty.
Toot’s jaw just about dropped off of his head. “Wow!”
“Hmmm,” Karrin said. “That’s the one who beat you up last night, is it?”
“And tripped him this morning,” Thomas reminded her.
“And tripped me this morning,” I growled. I turned back to Lacuna and studied her for a moment. She looked back at me without blinking. Actually, she didn’t move at all—except for her braid, which drifted upward like cobwebs over a heating vent.
“Huh,” I said. “Was not expecting that.”
Lacuna stared, her eyes flat.
“I won’t ask you to break your word,” I told her. “And I will treat you with respect and provide for your needs in exchange for your service. Do you understand?”
“I understand,” Lacuna said.
“Wow!” said Toot.
“Without breaking any oath, I would like to know,” I said, “whatever you can tell me about the person you were serving until you were taken prisoner.”
She stared.
I caught my mistake and rolled my eyes. “Let me rephrase that. Tell me whatever you can about the person you were serving until you were taken prisoner without breaking any word you’ve given him.”
Lacuna nodded at that and frowned pensively. Then she looked up and said in a serious, confidential tone, “He does not seem to like you very much.”
I took a slow, deep breath. There were more titters behind me.
“I noticed that, too,” I said. “Tell me what you know about what’s happening tonight.”
“Children,” she said in a sepulchral voice, and her little face twisted up with unmistakable fury. “And candy. Lots and lots of candy.”
“Wow!” Toot said. He zipped away in a flutter of wings.
“Without breaking your word, tell me everything else you know about Ace,” I said.
“He owes me,” Lacuna replied grimly, “for services rendered.”
I sighed. “I don’t suppose you’d like to volunteer to offer me some more useful information?”
The armored faerie stared at me without blinking. It was a little creepy.
“Nah, I didn’t think so,” I said. “Are you hungry?”
She seemed to consider that for a moment, then said, “Yes.”
“Do you want some pizza?”
Lacuna’s face twisted up in disgust. “Ugh. No.”
My eyebrows went up. That was a grade-A first. The Little Folk would quite literally go to war over pizza. They liked it that much. “Uh. What would you like to eat, then?”
“Celery,” she replied promptly. “Cheese. Green tea. But mostly celery.”
“How random,” I said. I looked over my shoulder. “Molly?”
“I’ve got those,” she said, and went to the kitchen.
“Okay, Lacuna,” I said. “We’ve got a bunch of business to take care of. I want you to eat, get some rest, and make yourself comfortable. You aren’t to leave this apartment. Understood?”
Lacuna nodded somberly. “Yes.” Her wings blurred and she darted across the apartment to the kitchen, where Molly was preparing a plate with Lacuna-chow on it.
“Good. I’ll figure out what to do with you later.” I rubbed the back of my neck and went back over to the others. “Well. That was a little frustrating.”
“Why’d you take her prisoner then?” Thomas asked.
I glowered at him. “Don’t you have a squad of mercenaries to round up? Or a bridge to jump off?”
“I guess so.”
“Okay, everybody,” I said. “You’ve got your assignments. Let’s get them done. Molly, you’ve got the apartment and the phone, so after you send the search parties, you’re coordinating. Anyone learns something, call Molly with it. Otherwise, meet back here by five.”
There was a round of nods and agreements, and Butters, Thomas, and Karrin headed out into the city.
Once they were gone, Molly asked, “Why’d you ditch them like that?”
I lifted my eyebrows again. The grasshopper just kept getting cleverer. “I wasn’t ditching them,” I said.
Molly arched an eyebrow. “You weren’t?”
“Not entirely,” I said. “That stuff needs doing, too.”
“While you go somewhere dangerous all by yourself. Am I right?”
I didn’t answer her right away, and she finished making Lacuna’s meal. She put the plate on the counter and the serious little faerie fell upon it like a ravening wolf.
“Something like that,” I said. “Don’t you have a job to do, too?”
Molly eyed me. Then she picked up the map on the table, folded it, and walked toward the door. “I’m not going to fight you about it. I just wanted you to know that I knew.”
Just then, Toot buzzed back into the apartment from somewhere. He zipped in frantic, dizzying circles, starting at the point he’d last seen Lacuna, until his spiral search pattern took him to the kitchen. Then he swooped down to Lacuna, landing neatly on the counter.
I peered at the two little faeries. Toot held out to Lacuna a wrapped watermelon Jolly Rancher, as if he were offering frankincense and myrrh to the Christ child. “Hi!” he said brightly. “I’m Major General Toot-toot!”
Lacuna looked up from her food and saw Toot’s gift. Her eyes narrowed.
And then she sucker punched Toot-toot right in the face.
My little bodyguard flew back a couple of feet and landed on his ass. Both of his hands went up to his nose, and he blinked in startled bewilderment.
Toot had dropped the Jolly Rancher. Lacuna calmly kicked it into the disposal drain of the kitchen sink. Then she turned her back on Toot, ignoring him completely, and went back to eating her meal.
Toot’s eyes were even wider as he stared at Lacuna.
“Wow!” he said.