The front of my T-shirt was soaked with it, the fabric more rusty brown than blue now, and more blood had spattered onto my cargo pants, with thick, fat drops congealed on my sneakers. Not to mention the red smears on my right cheek and the stains that had dried on my hands, arms, and even under my fingernails. My gut twisted, and I had to force myself to ignore the hot nausea rising in my throat.
Blood didn’t usually bother me. I’d killed people before. Folks who’d attacked me during my jobs for Mo. Others who’d come after me just because they’d wanted to, thinking that a lone girl would be an easy target. Monsters who’d slithered out of dark alleys, determined to make a meal out of me. Oh no, blood didn’t bother me, but I couldn’t help shuddering at my reflection all the same.
Because this time, the blood belonged to a dead girl—one who was too much like me for my peace of mind.
A strange emotion seized me, and I stripped off my T-shirt, wrapped it in some paper towels from the dispenser by the sink, and shoved it into the bottom of the trash can. Then I cranked up the faucet as high and hot as it would go, grabbed another wad of paper towels, and started scrubbing at all the blood, even though my hands were shaking so badly that all I really did was fling water everywhere.
It took me longer than it should have to get my emotions under control, but ten minutes later, my hands were steady, my gut was calm, and the nausea was a fading memory. I wiped all the crimson stains off my skin and got the worst of them out of my pants and off my sneakers. I flipped off the faucet and stood there shivering in my bra and wet pants, but I’d used up all the paper towels, and I didn’t feel like going into the men’s bathroom to get more.
I leaned forward and peered at my reflection again. Shoulder-length black hair, pale skin, a puffy blue bruise that had bloomed on my cheek from where the guy had hit me in the pawnshop. I looked much more like myself now. Maybe my blue eyes were a little darker and more haunted than they’d been before, but that was nothing new, either.
You didn’t do the things I did—lie, steal, cheat, and kill—without having a few bad things happen to you along the way. You didn’t pick-pocket tourists who were only in town to have a good time without feeling a smidge of guilt. You didn’t kill simple, hungry creatures who were only doing what came naturally to them by trying to eat you without getting a few dings on your conscience. And you especially didn’t witness the aftermath of your mom’s murder and realize there was nothing you could do to save her without getting more than a few rips and tears in your heart.
My thoughts turned to Devon, and I wondered what scars he’d have from today, from watching his bodyguard die protecting him. No doubt they’d be far worse than mine. I wondered if Devon’s emotions would harden and if that hot spark that burned so deep inside him would be extinguished after this, smothered by all the guilt he felt. Hard to tell.
I grabbed my phone from my backpack. No message from Mo. I wondered what he had done after I left the Razzle Dazzle. He would have had to call someone about the attack. Since Devon, Felix, and Ashley had belonged to one of the Families, the regular mortal cops wouldn’t get involved, but somebody would have to do something, if only to remove the dead men’s bodies from the shop and sweep everything under the proverbial rug.
But there was no way for me to get answers to my questions until Mo decided to contact me.
So I gathered up my things, turned out the lights, left the bathroom, and headed down to the basement to go to bed, even though I knew it would be hours before I actually fell asleep.
After a night of bloody dreams, I quickly dressed and went to school the next morning, but my thoughts lingered on Ashley. I wondered how long she’d been a Family bodyguard. I wondered if Devon and Felix were really her friends or just a job. I wondered if she had a family—a real family—and not just the stupid mob she’d joined for whatever reason.
I wondered a lot of things I shouldn’t have.
But the school day passed by like any other. And so did the next one . . . and the one after that . . . and the one after that . . .
Mo sent me a few cryptic texts, saying that he was taking care of things, but he didn’t call me, and I didn’t dare go by the pawnshop until he gave me the all-clear. So the days went by, and I still didn’t know what, if anything, was going on.
The suspense was driving me crazy, but there was nothing I could do but schlep to school every day, find a diner to hang out in until the library closed for the night, and pick a few tourist pockets to pay for my daily dinners of cheeseburgers and fries. I didn’t spend any of the money Mo had given me for stealing the ruby necklace. Not a single dollar.
There was too much blood on it for that.
So here I was, at school again, wondering which greasy dive I could lurk in this afternoon and checking my phone every five minutes in case Mo texted me. This was the last week of classes, and all that was left were a few lame, end-of-year activities, which I totally could have skipped. But I always came to school every day right up until the bitter end to hit the breakfast and lunch lines, where I swiped extra cookies and apples that I didn’t pay for and stuffed into my backpack to eat later.
The last bell of the day rang, and I was heading out the front door when my phone finally chirped with a message from Mo. I stopped in the hallway and looked at the screen.
Everything’s going to be okay. Don’t start a fight. Please
I sighed. Another cryptic message that told me absolutely nothing. I wondered who he thought I was going to start a fight with. Certainly not the rubes at school. I knew better than that. Oh, I could kick the ass of anyone stupid enough to mess with me. My mom had taught me to take care of myself—and then some. But a fight would mean a talk with my parents, and since I didn’t have any, that would lead to all sorts of awkward questions about why I wasn’t in foster care, where I lived, and other things that were best left to the imagination.
I waited, but Mo didn’t text me again. So I put the phone back into my pocket, pushed through the doors, and stepped outside into the bright sunshine.