Maris’s eyes widened. “Look how big he’s gotten. Ah! I wish I could hold him.”
Ture laughed as Maris baby-talked to the bald infant who stared at him with an adorable expression of total confusion.
When Terek started crying, Ana excused herself to change him.
Ture stepped forward. “All right, everyone, we need to focus and get ready. Maris will stay with us while he’s awake so ignore him like we always do when he’s really here.”
His sous chef, Amberlia, laughed. “Only you ignore him when he’s here. The rest of us actually talk to him.”
“It’s true,” Maris said with a wicked grin. “You only talk to me when you want to use me as a guinea pig.”
Ture arched a brow at him. “Play nice. I do have a switch I can turn you off with.”
A light came into those dark eyes that let him know Maris had a sexual comment to make over that, but bit it back. That’s why I love you, so.
His fierce warrior was ever a gentleman.
*
Maris tucked his arm behind his head as he watched Ture and his staff work. Until now, he hadn’t realized how much he missed being with them. He’d searched everywhere for a place to belong. But in all his wildest imaginings, he’d never dreamed it would be in a commercial kitchen.
The door to his room opened.
He muted his mic as he looked up to find Darling moving toward the bed.
“How are you feeling?”
“Good.”
“Then what’s wrong?”
Maris looked away. He knew better than to try and hide his feelings from Darling. A thousand images went through his head as he thought about all the times in his past when he’d needed someone, and Darling had appeared as if he’d sensed Maris’s pain. “I don’t know what to do.”
“About?”
“Ture.”
Darling sat on the edge of the bed and pinned him with a hard stare. “I don’t think I understand the question. You love him, so . . .”
“I endanger him.” Maris swallowed hard against the lump in his throat. “Over and over, I keep seeing you when Nykyrian told you that Zarya was dead. I feel how you shook in my arms, and the ragged, raw pain in your eyes. I really get it now.”
Darling took his hand into his. “It’s scary as hell. Honestly, I don’t know how Nyk copes with Kiara being a civ. With Zarya, I know she’s trained to defend herself and to kill any attacker. Still, with her pregnant, she can’t do that and every second of every minute, I’m a nervous wreck. I just want to tie her to me and make sure that nothing bad ever happens to her again, and I can only imagine how much worse that’s going to be when my son’s born and I have him to worry over, too. But what choice do we have?”
“We leave.”
“Mare-bear...you did not just say that to me.”
Maris sniffed back his tears at the teasing nickname Darling hadn’t used since they were kids. “I don’t like feeling this way. You know my brothers, Dar. They would be giddy with joy if they could lay hands on Ture.”
“I know. Kyr is as much a threat to me as he is to you. But you and Ture can move into the palace where we have round–the-clock surveillance, and a full military guard. I’ll assign him the best of my guard staff. Even Sentella if you want. He can have them full time.”
“Gods, I love you.”
“I love you, too, Mari. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you, you know that. And what can I say? Being in love sucks. Life’s hard enough when you only have to worry about your own ass. When there’s someone else whose life means even more to you... They have you by the stones.”
“You sound like Drake.”
“Yeah, I think the little bastard’s starting to rub off on me. Since you’ve been spending so much time with Ture, you’ve forced me to start actually talking to my brother. I owe you a serious ass-beating for that.”
He laughed. “You love Drake.”
“In small doses.” Darling leaned forward as he finally noticed the small tablet on Maris’s tray table. “What’s that?”
Maris turned it toward him so that he could see the kitchen. “Ture refused to go to work unless I went with him. This way, we can keep an eye on each other.”
Darling waved at Ture who still couldn’t hear them. Smiling, Ture waved back then ran to put out a small pan fire. “I always knew you’d fall for a cook.”
“Yeah, I know.” Maris drew a ragged breath as he returned the tray to its original position. “Thanks, Darling. I appreciate the talk.”
“Not sure I did anything.”
“You did what you always do, gave me hope. And you talked sense to me.”
“Anytime, brother.”
Maris felt the familiar sad emptiness as Darling let go of his hand and left the room. He’d never really thought any other man could make him feel that sensation.
Not until Ture.
Turning the sound on, he moved his hand so that he could trace the line of Ture’s jaw while he went around the kitchen with unparalleled grace. He could watch that man move all day long. Nothing gave him more pleasure.
How can I even think about leaving him?
But the real question was— how could he endanger him by staying?