His gut knotted with dread. Here it comes . . . Get out. He knew it was too good to last. “Yeah?”
Ture hedged, which twisted Maris’s stomach into a painful knot. “I . . . um . . . would you . . . “ He let out a hard breath. “Okay, I’m just going to say it. I can do this. Really . . . Would you like to move in with me? I mean, you’re already here most of the time, anyway. Right?”
Maris went weak at the offer as joy ripped through him. “I’d love to.”
“Really?”
“Absolutely.”
Ture bit his lip as happiness filled him. He’d been wanting to ask Maris to move in, but had been too afraid to since Maris was so reluctant to say he loved him. Not that he had to. It showed in everything Maris did. Big and little. Such as taking over the paperwork so that Ture could focus on prepping the kitchen and leave a little earlier to come home. Stepping in with a willing pair of hands whenever Ture or his staff needed help. Going into the fridge for him so that he wouldn’t get chilled. Letting him go first in the shower every morning so that he never had to take a lukewarm or cold bath. A million thoughtful things that came together to make Maris the sweetest, hottest lover anyone could ask for. And while Mari wasn’t perfect, he tried. That more than anything meant the universe to him.
He pressed his cheek to Maris’s. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For being you, sweetie.”
Maris frowned as Ture left him and headed for the bedroom. “I do love you,” he whispered. But every time he tried to say it out loud, he choked on the words.
Just once in his life, he wanted everything to work out. Nothing would make him happier than to relive the last few weeks over and over again, until he died from pure joy overload. He didn’t want any of it to change.
Ever.
But nothing ever lasted.
Not the bad.
And especially not the good.
CHAPTER 9
Maris paused as someone knocked on his bedroom door. “Come in.”
Darling opened it and entered the room with a frown. “I just heard that you’d returned and. . . .” His scowl deepened as he saw the bags Maris was packing. Because of his reluctance to tempt fate, Maris had spent the last two weeks moving his things over to Ture’s apartment. He was hoping if he went slow enough, bad luck wouldn’t take notice of him and slap him down for daring to be happy with someone else.
“You’re leaving?”
Maris duplicated his scowl as he caught the hurt note in Darling’s voice. “You’re not jealous, are you?”
“Honestly? A little, yeah. I miss having you around, bud. I haven’t seen you in weeks.”
Maris tucked his shirts into his bag then closed the distance between them. He pulled Darling into his arms and gave him a light hug. “You know you’re my first love.”
Darling tightened his grip before he released him. “I’m not used to sharing you like this. I don’t like it, Mari.”
“So you do love me?” he teased.
“You know I do.”
But not romantically. Darling’s heart and soul would always belong to Zarya first and Maris was good with that. And now that he had Ture, he understood it better than he ever had before.
Darling swallowed hard. “Through thick and thin, brothers to the bitter end, right?”
Maris gave him a sincere stare. “Always. You need me, night or day, you know I’m here for you. Ture says he accepts that and is good with it.” The gods knew, Ture had already proven it. He had yet to say anything nasty about how often Maris vanished whenever Darling beckoned.
“You really care about him, don’t you?”
Maris hesitated. What he felt was so complicated. He seriously enjoyed hanging out in the restaurant with Ture and his staff. Stealing kisses in the corners when no one was looking. It didn’t bother him at all that they spent sixteen to twenty hours a day there.
He even enjoyed helping Ana tend Terek in the middle of the night. Watching the baby during the day so that she could rest. It was the first time in his life that he really felt like he was home. That he was part of a family that accepted everything about him. Even his early morning crankiness.
When he’d first moved into the Caronese Winter Palace as an ambassador, Darling’s uncle had made him feel like a venereal disease in a whorehouse. Arturo had gone out of his way to verbally attack him and Darling.
Then after Arturo’s death, Darling had been...honestly, insane. For a time, he’d even feared that Darling might kill them both.
Until Zarya.
She had healed Darling and returned him to the best friend he’d been growing up. But from the moment she moved in, Darling had been preoccupied with her, leaving Maris to feel like a third wheel. They’d tried to include him, but they wanted and needed to be alone at times, and that was how it should be.