City of Lost Souls

“An army of dark Nephilim? The two of you are tough, but you’re not exactly an army.”


“There are about forty or fifty Nephilim who either were once loyal to Valentine, or hate the current direction of the Clave and are open to hearing what Sebastian has to say. He’s been in contact with them. When he raises Lilith, they’ll be there.” Jace took a deep breath. “And after that? With the power of Lilith behind him? Who knows who else will join his cause? He wants a war. He’s convinced he’ll win it, and I’m not sure he won’t. For every dark Nephilim he makes, he will grow in power. Add that to the demons he’s already made allegiances with, and I don’t know if the Clave is prepared to withstand him.”

Clary dropped her hand. “Sebastian never changed. Your blood never changed him. He’s exactly like he always was.” Her eyes flicked up to Jace’s. “But you. You lied to me, too.”

“He lied to you.”

Her mind was whirling. “I know. I know that Jace isn’t you—”

“He thinks it’s for your good and you’ll be happier in the end, but he did lie to you. And I would never do that.”

“The aegis,” Clary said. “If it can hurt you but Sebastian can’t feel it, could it kill him but not hurt you?”

Jace shook his head. “I don’t think so. If I had an aegis, I might be willing to try, but—no. Our life forces are tied together. An injury is one thing. If he were to die…” His voice hardened. “You know the easiest way to end this. Put a dagger in my heart. I’m surprised you didn’t do it while I was sleeping.”

“Could you? If it were me?” Her voice shook. “I believed there was a way to make this right. I still believe it. Give me your stele, and I’ll make a Portal.”

“You can’t make a Portal from inside here,” said Jace. “It won’t work. The only way in and out of this apartment is through the wall downstairs, by the kitchen. It’s the only place you can move the apartment from, too.”

“Can you move us to the Silent City? If we go back, the Silent Brothers can figure out a way to separate you from Sebastian. We’ll tell the Clave his plan so they’ll be prepared—”

“I could move us to one of the entrances,” Jace said. “And I will. I’ll go. We’ll go together. But just so there won’t be any untruth between us, Clary, you have to know that they’ll kill me. After I tell them what I know, they’ll kill me.”

“Kill you? No, they wouldn’t—”

“Clary.” His voice was gentle. “As a good Shadowhunter I ought to volunteer to die to stop what Sebastian is going to do. As a good Shadowhunter, I would.”

“But none of this is your fault.” Her voice rose, and she forced it back down, not wanting Sebastian, downstairs, to hear. “You can’t help what’s been done to you. You’re a victim in this. It’s not you, Jace; it’s someone else, someone wearing your face. You shouldn’t be punished—”

“It’s not a matter of punishment. It’s practicality. Kill me, Sebastian dies. It’s no different from sacrificing myself in battle. It’s all well and good to say I didn’t choose this. It has happened. And what I am now, myself, will be gone again soon enough. And, Clary, I know it doesn’t make sense, but I remember it—I remember all of it. I remember walking with you in Venice, and that night at the club, and sleeping in this bed with you, and don’t you get it? I wanted this. This is all I ever wanted, to live with you like this, be with you like this. What am I supposed to think, when the worst thing that has ever happened to me gives me exactly what I want? Maybe Jace Lightwood can see all the ways this is wrong and messed-up, but Jace Wayland, Valentine’s son… loves this life.” His eyes were wide and gold as he looked at her, and she was reminded of Raziel, of his gaze that seemed to hold all the wisdom and all the sadness in the world. “And that’s why I have to go,” he said. “Before this wears off. Before I’m him again.”

“Go where?”

“To the Silent City. I have to turn myself in—and the Cup, too.”





Part Three





All Is Changed





All changed, changed utterly:

A terrible beauty is born.

—William Butler Yeats, “Easter, 1916”





18

RAZIEL



“Clary?”