City of Lost Souls

“Going downstairs to get some towels to clean up this mess,” he said matter-of-factly. “Vampires and their games…”

“This doesn’t look like the outcome of a game,” Clary said. “The girl—the human girl who was with you—what happened to her?”

“She got a little frightened at the sight of fangs. Sometimes they do.” At the look on her face, he laughed. “She came around. Even wanted more. She’s asleep in my bed now, if you want to check and make sure she’s alive.”

“No… That’s not necessary.” Clary dropped her eyes. She wished she’d worn something besides this silk nightgown to bed. She felt undressed. “What about you?”

“Are you asking if I’m all right?” She hadn’t been, but Sebastian looked pleased. He pulled the collar of his shirt aside, and she could see two neat puncture wounds just at his collarbone. “I could use an iratze.”

Clary said nothing.

“Come downstairs,” he said, and gestured for her to follow him as he padded past her, barefoot, and down the glass staircase. After a moment she did as he’d asked. He flicked on the lights as he went, so by the time they reached the kitchen, it was glowing with warm light. “Wine?” he said to her, pulling the refrigerator door open.

She settled herself on one of the counter stools, smoothing down her nightgown. “Just water.”

She watched him as he poured two glasses of mineral water—one for her, one for him. His smooth economical movements were like Jocelyn’s, but the control with which he moved must have been instilled in him by Valentine. It reminded her of the way Jace moved, like a carefully trained dancer.

He pushed her water toward her with one hand, the other tipping his glass toward his lips. When he was done, he slammed the glass back down on the counter. “You probably know this, but fooling around with vampires certainly makes you thirsty.”

“Why would I know that?” Her question came out sharper than intended.

He shrugged. “Figured you were playing some biting games with that Daylighter.”

“Simon and I never played biting games,” she said in a frozen tone. “In fact, I can’t figure out why anyone would want vampires feeding on them on purpose. Don’t you hate and despise Downworlders?”

“No,” he said. “Don’t mix me up with Valentine.”

“Yeah,” she muttered. “Tough mistake to make.”

“It’s not my fault I look exactly like him and you look like her.” His mouth curled into an expression of distaste at the thought of Jocelyn. Clary scowled at him. “See, there you go. You’re always looking at me like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like I burn down animal shelters for fun and light my cigarettes with orphans.” He poured another glass of water. As he turned his head from her, she saw that the puncture wounds at his throat were already beginning to heal over.

“You killed a child,” she said sharply, knowing as she said it that she should be keeping her mouth shut, going along with the pretense that she didn’t think Sebastian was a monster. But Max. He was alive in her head as if it were the first time she’d ever seen him, asleep on a sofa at the Institute with a book on his lap and his glasses askew on his small face. “That’s not something you can be forgiven for, ever.”

Sebastian drew in a breath. “So that’s it,” he said. “Cards on the table so soon, little sister?”

“What did you think?” Her voice sounded thin and tired to her own ears, but he flinched as if she’d snapped at him.

“Would you believe me if I told you it was an accident?” he said, setting his glass down on the counter. “I didn’t mean to kill him. Just to knock him out, so he wouldn’t tell—”

Clary silenced him with a look. She knew she couldn’t hide the hatred in her eyes: knew she should, knew it was impossible.

“I mean it. I meant to knock him out, like I did Isabelle. I misjudged my own strength.”

“And Sebastian Verlac? The real one? You killed him, didn’t you?”

Sebastian looked at his own hands as if they were strange to him: there was a silver chain holding a flat metal plate, like an ID bracelet, around his right wrist—hiding the scar where Isabelle had sliced his hand away. “He wasn’t supposed to fight back—”

Disgusted, Clary started to slide off the stool, but Sebastian caught at her wrist, pulling her toward him. His skin was hot against hers and she remembered, in Idris, the time his touch had burned her. “Jonathan Morgenstern killed Max. But what if I’m not the same person? Haven’t you noticed I won’t even use the same name?”

“Let me go.”

“You believe Jace is different,” Sebastian said quietly. “You believe he isn’t the same person, that my blood changed him. Don’t you?”

She nodded without speaking.

“Then, why is it so hard to believe it might go the other way? Maybe his blood changed me. Maybe I’m not the same person I was.”