“Yes?”
Kaylin snorted and looked to Kattea, who nodded and caught Gilbert’s arm. Gilbert blinked as she tried to move him—and failed. Kattea was not, however, a quitter. “Gilbert—we have to go with them.”
“We don’t,” he said, looking confused.
Ybelline turned to Kaylin and touched her forehead. He is not human. She used the broader word, the old Elantran one.
No. I—I trust him, though.
I think trust is almost irrelevant, Ybelline replied. But I will thank you for bringing him.
Given Ybelline’s collapse and continued shakiness, Kaylin had severe doubts that those thanks were deserved.
I am grateful. She was. It was so difficult to understand what I was seeing or hearing that it...removed me from the immediacy of so much death and so much fear. I am still...uncertain...that I understand what Gilbert attempted to tell me. I am also uncertain that he understood me.
He thinks he did.
Ybelline nodded. I do not think I will make that attempt again in the very near future. But oddly, it is safer to have Gilbert touch the Tha’alaan than it would be to have your Barrani Hawks touch it. Gilbert’s thoughts and beliefs would be very like a poorly structured dream—and we have those in the Tha’alaan, in number.
Where are you taking us?
To the long house, the caste hall. The Tha’alanari will meet us there. I have asked them to do what I have done. If I can touch the experience of death—and I can—I cannot examine it with the care we now require, not at any speed. At leisure, when this crisis is behind us, I may return to it. She meant it, too. But not now. We cannot, I believe, direct our future selves; their memories are much like our own: they are resigned almost instantly to a past we cannot change and must simply accept and understand.
If Kaylin adored Ybelline—and she absolutely did—she didn’t adore the other Caste Court officials even one tenth as much. In general, officials were the last people Kaylin was sent to speak with; they made her feel instantly defensive, and defensive Kaylin offended the officials. Things generally went downhill from there.
Ybelline, well aware of Kaylin’s discomfort, shook her head. “They are more hardened in their suspicions of outsiders, but they are aware that you are capable of touching the Tha’alaan on your own, and they have seen what you desire for, and of, it. They find you...ill-mannered and hasty, but they respect what you have done in the past.
“And regardless, they are the men and women who are willing to visit—and revisit—their own deaths in an attempt to make sense of what occurred.”
“Did Gilbert have anything helpful to add?”
“Not intentionally.” She glanced at Gilbert. “And perhaps I am also too hasty. But—and I’m certain this will not shock you at this point—I believe the Arcanist in his memories may have some light to shed on the difficulty.”
“You didn’t recognize the Arcanist?”
Ybelline fell silent, in all ways. Kaylin was genuinely surprised. “Ybelline—”
“I believe I have seen that man before. Or one dressed very like him.”
“In real life?”
“No, Kaylin. In memory. In the memories that we are forced to invade, and of which we are allowed to speak only in the presence of Imperial court officials. I will speak with those officials when we are done.”
“I think Teela has some idea of the man’s identity. Or at least of the tiara’s significance.”
“You wish me to leave this to your Teela?”
“I’d just as soon you spent as little time with Imperial officials as possible.”
“Even the Hawks?”
Kaylin grimaced. “Maybe especially the Hawks.” Because it was through the Hawks, for the most part, that the Tha’alani “interrogators” were summoned, and through the Hawks that the Tha’alani were exposed, consistently, to the worst mankind had to offer.
“I understand why the Hawks were created. I understand their purpose. If it were not for the Hawks, we would never have met, and I would consider that a great loss on my part.” She straightened and pulled away from Kaylin, testing her legs for strength. They held her up, but she wasn’t going to be running anytime soon.
Kattea had managed to drag Gilbert in more or less the right direction; he still looked unfocused and inattentive. Kattea, however, looked more frustrated than worried.
Yes, Kaylin thought, the child had only known him for a handful of weeks. But she was right: she understood Gilbert better than Kaylin did. Maybe necessity had forced that understanding on her.