He pulled open the door and strode out into the cold. Small flakes of snow fell on his hair and the wind burned across his unprotected face, but he barely noticed, his mind still in the cabin. Tonight, he’d come shockingly close to breaking Silence and feeling anger of the most violent kind. The anger of a Tk with his subset of powers wasn’t normal in any sense—he’d found that out as a ten-year-old boy standing over another child’s corpse.
Leaving Brenna might not fix anything, but it would keep her safe. From him. He’d known that should she say that last word, it would push him too far. He continued to feel the texture of her skin under his fingertips—warm, smooth, touchable. Gritting his teeth, he walked deeper into the winter-cloaked night, hoping the snow would chill the fire in what should have been the pure, unbroken ice of his heart.
Brenna threw her boot against the wall. “Men!” She considered running after Judd—she was fast even if she couldn’t go wolf—but abandoned the idea in a fit of female fury. She was through with chasing him! He could chase after her for once.
Except that two hours later, he still hadn’t made an appearance. “Fine,” she said, turning over in the bed she’d appropriated. “I’ll leave tomorrow if that’s what he wants.” How dare he say those things to her?
You need to examine the reasons behind those emotions.
His words wouldn’t leave her alone, no matter how much she tried to forget them. Was that what she was doing—using Judd to get past her own fear? And she was afraid. Everyone thought she was so brave and strong because she’d survived with her sanity intact. It made her want to laugh, but with nothing even close to happiness. Because as she’d told Judd, and no matter what he’d said to the contrary, she was broken. Enrique had destroyed her spirit, made her suspicious and insular, where before she’d been easy to extend the hand of friendship, easy to smile, easy to see joy.
Today she faced the horror that he’d made her such a weak woman, she’d been ready to use another man to find her own courage. Something told her that Judd Lauren had been used quite enough. She didn’t have to know the facts. She saw the truth in the shadows behind his eyes—he expected her to take what she needed and then leave.
She pulled the blanket up her body in a vain effort to warm the cold in her soul. “No. This isn’t about Judd being Psy.” It if had been, she would have gone to Walker. He was no less Psy and far more approachable. Or was that the attraction, another part of her asked—the fact that Judd was so damn dangerous, more than tough enough to take on her demons?
“So what if I’m attracted to him because of what happened?” She’d changed in her fight to survive the evil that had touched her, lost part of her innocence. But she’d also gained knowledge, learned who she was and what she could endure. The new woman she’d become found Judd Lauren fascinating.
Well, she had. Now she was too mad to care.
CHAPTER 13
Judd didn’t return until he was confident Brenna would be fast asleep. He entered to find her cuddled up in front of the fire—in the middle of a camp bed she’d apparently dragged out of storage. She made a noise at the soft click of the door closing and he paused, waiting for her to wake up. But she continued to breathe in the rhythms of sleep.
Relaxing, he took off his jacket and quietly removed his boots and socks before going down on his haunches by the fire. Even his skull ached from the dampness caused by the snow—he’d deliberately not used his abilities to protect himself. But despite his need to regain control, he hadn’t gone far from this woman who threatened him on a visceral level, unable to leave her alone in the darkness. So he’d stood watch and attempted, once again, to repair the most critical of the new flaws in the wall of Silence around his mind.
He wasn’t a stupid man. He understood that Silence had been imposed on him, and was in no way natural. For most of his people, it was a violation of their freedom to choose. Protocol I, with its aspiration to cut into the Psy brain itself, would only further that violation. But notwithstanding all that, he also understood and accepted that for a small minority, Silence was a choice they would have made if given the option.
He was one of them.
For him, Silence was the answer to a prayer, a gift that allowed him to live a full life, not be caged behind bars or banished to complete isolation. His eyes fell on Brenna’s slumbering form. No, he thought, he was wrong. His life wasn’t full, not when he couldn’t have her in it. But at least Silence allowed him to talk to her, to protect her, to be with her even if it was for mere fragments of time. Without the conditioning, he wouldn’t have trusted himself within sight of her.
CARESSED BY ICE
Nalini Singh's books
- Bonded by Blood
- By the Sword
- Deceived By the Others
- Lullaby (A Watersong Novel)
- Lord of the Hunt
- The Gates of Byzantium
- Torn(Demon Kissed Series)
- Blood Moon
- A Celtic Witch
- Kiss Tomorrow Goodbye
- Traitor's Blade
- Four Days (Seven Series #4)
- Bite Me, Your Grace
- Lullaby
- The Cost of All Things
- Infinity by Sherrilyn Kenyon
- Hexed
- Captivated By You
- Desire Unchained
- Taken by Darkness
- BRANDED BY FIRE
- MINE TO POSSESS
- Ilse Witch
- Taken by the Beast
- Ruby’s Fire
- Alex Van Helsing Voice of the Undead
- Brilliant Devices
- Ice Kissed
- Summoner: Book 1: The Novice
- The Healer’s Apprentice
- Born of Ice
- Sensual Danger (Venice Vampyr #4)
- Venice Vampyr - The Beginning
- BONDS OF JUSTICE
- The Weapons Master's Choice