“What are you going to do now?” Lucas asked.
I stared down at what was left. The hand. The athame. The crystal. “I don’t…” I swallowed down the fear that was choking me. My hands shook as I reached toward the nightstand again.
I grabbed the pinky and broke off the tip of it. The bone was brittle and white. I turned to Beth. “Do you have a mortar and pestle?”
She nodded.
“Sage. Cloves. And cinnamon. And holy oil or water, if you have it.”
“I have everything but the oil or water.”
It would have to work. “Shane, will you—”
“Boil water. On it.”
I turned to Lucas, hands shaking.
“No matter what happens, I’ll be here for you.”
A tear rolled down my cheek, and I brushed it away. I could do this.
Shane and Beth returned, and I ground the bone down to dust. I wished there was time for me to steep the tea, but I couldn’t. I poured the mixture into a little glass cup.
This would work. It had to.
I started to climb on the bed, and Raphael started thrashing. He was tied down, but if he didn’t stop, I was going to spill the brew. “Hold him.”
Adrian, Lucas, Beth, and Shane each grabbed a limb.
I reached over my brother. “I love you, Raphael. I’m sorry. Please forgive me.”
“I hate you, you fucking cunt whore. You’re sleeping with the fucking dogs now. You’re nothing but—”
I covered his nose, and his mouth opened. I poured the brew down his throat. He sputtered, choking. His mouth started foaming. At first the foam was white, and then it turned into black sludge.
I slid off the bed, stepping back until I hit the wall, hardly breathing.
Raphael started convulsing and I couldn’t hold back the tears. I sobbed and crumpled to the ground. Lucas’ arms came around me, but I couldn’t look away from my brother. He wasn’t breathing anymore.
I’d killed him. He was dying. And it was my fault. I killed him.
My breaths came so fast that I almost threw up.
“Calm down, Claudia.” Even Lucas’ soothing voice couldn’t keep me from losing it. “Breathe. Breathe. Slower. Slow it down, princess.”
I tried to follow his orders, but my heart was shattering into a million tiny pieces and I didn’t think there was enough glue in the whole world to put it to right.
Raphael let out a scream, and I froze. At first it was raspy and had too much texture too it—like it was more than one voice. And then it changed. It was his voice. And then he started coughing as a white light filled the room.
I blinked as my eyes adjusted to the light.
I scrambled up and looked into his eyes. They were clearing. His skin was less gray.
Shane leaned closer, studying my brother. “He’s back.”
Adrian, Beth, Lucas, and another wolf who I’d never met before came around the bed. All looking down at him.
“It’s okay,” Lucas said as he ran his hand up and down my back. “I think he’s going to be okay.”
I was too scared to look. I kept staring straight ahead. Not glancing down at all. I blinked back the tears. The others started moving around the room. I heard them cutting my brother free, but I still couldn’t look.
“Cloud?” Raphael grasped my hand. “You can look at me now.”
I blinked a few more times before looking down. My legs collapsed as I started crying again. I rested my head on the edge of the bed, and Raphael’s arms came around me. “I thought you were going to die. I thought that was it. It was like losing a piece of my soul. We’re twins. You’re me and I’m you. You can’t die.”
“I’m not going to die. I’m okay.”
I wiped my face and looked at him. And then hit him. “Don’t ever scare me like that again. I swear. I don’t… You can’t… Just. No.”
He smiled. “I’ll do my best.”
I stood up and leaned over him, giving him a hug. I held on to him a little too long and Raphael laughed. “Hey, Cloud?”
“What?” I mumbled against his chest.
“You smell.”
I started laughing. Hard. It felt good. I’d been so panicked. Ever since z-Daniel bit him, I hadn’t relaxed.
When I caught my breath, I sat back down on the ground, exhausted.
Shane cleared his throat. “You bonded with this wolf?”
“Lucas…” Oh shit. I’d never learned his last name. I’d just mated to a guy whose last name I didn’t even know. What was wrong with me?
“Reyes,” he said for me.
“You paid for my hotel room?”
He raised a brow. “Yes. I’m the pack Alpha.”
I shook my head. It made sense. I just never put it together.
Shane cleared his throat again. “That means you broke your oath with Luciana.”
Oh God. I’d practically forgotten about that. I wasn’t tied to her anymore. My magic was my own again. “Yeah.” A grin spread across my face. “Yeah, I did.”
“So Beth, Raphael, and the others can take an oath to you. You’re stronger than her. I know you are.”