I shifted in my seat so that I could see him better, but he didn’t say anything. Just stared at the road as he drove. He gripped the steering wheel tightly, twisting his hands every few seconds.
For the longest time, I’d been protecting everyone else. No one thought about me. Not until this moment. It felt really good. Like I might actually be safe here. Even when I go on the evil brujos’ land, I’d be okay as long as I had Lucas watching out for me.
I was sure I could handle them myself. No matter how evil the sect was, they didn’t have a family member of mine to hold hostage. I was free to defend myself however I wanted.
But still, it was nice that someone cared.
After a few minutes, I sat straight in my seat. “I’ll be okay. Promise. No need to worry about me.”
He grunted, and I had no idea what that meant.
Just when I thought I understood Lucas, he went and changed the game.
Chapter Thirteen
From the way Lucas white-knuckled the steering wheel the whole drive back, it was easy to assume he was pissed. He didn’t like my plan. It was too dangerous and I’d be with “that asshole.” The problem was that I didn’t see any other way around it. Those brujos held my one clue. The only thing that could save my brother.
So, I had to do this. Pretend to go along with whatever Matt said so that he’d take me where I needed to go.
Still, Lucas’ reaction was freaking me out. It was like I was missing something. It took me a bit, but I finally worked up the courage to ask. “Why are you so upset? You don’t even know me. Not really.”
“That’s not true. You told me all about your life. I think I know a lot about you, especially now.”
No. I wasn’t buying that. He was upset. And then all the touching. And the way he’d acted when I first met him. Something was up, but I didn’t want to assume anything that wasn’t right. I wanted to know that I wasn’t imagining things.
“That could be right, but you’re not telling me what’s really bothering you. Why not?”
When he turned his head, I saw the glow in his eyes. His wolf was close. I knew enough to know that that was dangerous. “You don’t want me to answer that. Not yet. You’re not ready.”
If I didn’t want the answer, I wouldn’t have asked the question. “Ready for what?”
He gave me a small smile that had a hint of sadness. It wasn’t his big one that made my heart stop. This one made it ache instead. “Me.”
“You?”
He nodded.
I licked my lips as I searched for what to say. Honestly, I was feeling so many things—fear, longing, hope, to name a few—that I wasn’t sure how to articulate anything. “I… I…”
“Don’t worry about it, princess. I know you’re not ready. We’ll get you through this, and then we’ll deal with what’s next.”
I swallowed, suddenly feeling short of breath in a way that had nothing to do with the altitude. “Okay.”
He reached over and grabbed my hand. “It’s going to be okay.”
I nodded. “Okay.” A hint of panic hit me.
He liked me. Like liked me liked me.
Oh boy. Why is everything so complicated?
He ran his thumb up and down my hand, and I glanced at him.
He winked, giving me a different small smile. This one had hope.
I relaxed back against the seat. “Holy moly.”
He laughed. “I told you, you weren’t ready.”
“No kidding.”
Me? With Mr. July?
Oh boy…
***
By the time we pulled up to the hotel, the silence had become tense. It wasn’t the easy silence that we’d had moments—or what felt like moments—before. No. That was gone. Lucas was growing more agitated the closer we got to the hotel.
He put the van in park. “Are you sure there isn’t another way?”
I undid my seatbelt and faced him. “Maybe. But this is a real option and it’s all I have right now. A real chance to save my brother. I have to try.” I almost laughed. It seemed that no matter what I did, I was faced with impossible choices. Every time I tried to do what was best without thinking of myself. One day I’d put what I wanted first, but not today.
“If you change your mind, we can figure something else out.”
I shook my head. “There isn’t any time for figuring something else out. Tomorrow I need to get whatever it is that the mages have. Then, we’ll go from there.”
“I don’t like it, but…” He looked back out through the windshield, effectively ending the conversation.
I stared at him for a moment. At the strong lines of his face. The curve of his shoulder. The muscle that stretched his long-sleeved T-shirt. “I’ll be okay.”
“I know. I just don’t like you being with him and going to see those brujos. It’s dangerous.”