Cadan yanked her to him once again and held her tightly.
“Let’s discuss logistics.” Diana pulled out of his arms. She’d barely accepted her fate and if she was going to go through with this, it was going to have to be soon, before she backed out and threatened the whole world, not just herself. “How do I get my entire soul into Erebus, since only sending part of it didn’t work the first time around?”
“That’s fairly simple.” Warren’s voice was calm as he turned from Esha to look at her, but there was something sad in his eyes. “You have to walk through the portal. Your body may die at the entry and collapse, but your soul would continue through.”
“But I can’t see the portal.”
“I can guide you,” Esha said.
“So then I would be in Erebus? Not Tartarus or the Fields of Asphodel or any of the other Roman afterworld realms?”
“Aye, since that is where he opened it,” Warren said.
“It would be best if you could sneak up on Paulinus, since he will be expecting you. I think I can help with that,” Esha said.
“Thank you.”
“When will you go?” Warren asked.
“Tomorrow morning. It has to be soon.” Before I back out.
Diana winced as Cadan squeezed her hand. She would go and kill the father, but then what would happen to the son?
Chapter 35
They barely made it through the front door of his flat when they returned from Esha’s. Cadan was on her in an instant. He’d meant to be gentle. Their last night should be tender, but fear for her rode his back like a demon.
He slammed the door behind him and whirled her around until she was pressed against it.
“Cadan.” Her voice was breathless as he crowded her up against the door.
“Diana. I need you.”
“Yes,” she whispered. “Now. Please now.”
He groaned as he bent his head to capture her lips. His hands gripped her hips and yanked her toward him.
Diana fumbled with his fly. Faster. The silk of her shirt tore beneath his hands, her pale breasts beautiful in the light. He tore off her panties, desperately grateful to find her wet and ready. His fingers lingered only briefly before desire overwhelmed him. He thrust inside her, groaning as her wet heat closed around him.
She moaned his name. Desperate longing drove him as he pounded into her. Take me. Take all of me. He wanted to bury his pain and his fear in this one perfect act. For just a second he wanted to forget everything the future held in store for him without her.
When her * began to contract around him and her cries echoed in his ears, his wish was made reality.
An hour later they lay in bed together, wrapped in one another as if they’d never have to part.
“Cadan,” Diana said. Her small hand came up to rest on his cheek and he turned into it. “I’m sorry that I’m leaving you again.”
Nay, you’re not leaving me again. I won’t be letting you. He crushed those thoughts, and waited before speaking, desperately hoping that she would ask for his help. It was fucking hard to resist the instinct to keep her safe by fighting her battles for her.
“If there was any other way for me to stay, to not go through with this, I would do it. But I have to save Vivienne. To close the portal.”
Ask me. Ask me to help. Ask me. It was torture not to tell her his plans, but he wanted her to ask for his help rather than force it on her.
***
Diana looked at the man holding her as if he were afraid to ever let go. How could she not love this tortured, complex man?
“Cadan,” she said, hoping to prove to both of them that she trusted his word, “would you escort me to the portal tomorrow? I want you to be there when I go.”
And in truth, she needed him to be there. Even worse, she might need him to carry her there because she wasn’t sure if she could walk to her death on two steady feet.
“Aye, Diana.”
Thank God.
“But I’ll be going through with you.” His voice brooked no argument.
Shocked, she broke out of his arms and looked up at him. His jaw was set and his eyes fierce.
“But you can’t. You’ll die. Your soul could be stuck there.”
“Aye, possibly. You think that would stop me?”
A hard lump formed in her throat, painful in its intensity, and her eyes prickled. She didn’t want to be alone in this, but she didn’t want him to die, either.
“I was at the university today,” he said. “Trying to figure out if I could survive going through the portal. There’s a chance I can.”
“Really? How?”
“Some species, like the demons, can pass through safely. Because Erebus is the region of the Roman underworld that is reserved for warriors, it’s possible that Mythean Guardians, who are warriors and immortal, can pass over the boundary without losing our earthly bodies and becoming trapped.”
“You’re sure?” Her heart raced.
“Nay.”