“Some people need a reason to hate in order to live. It’s easy to despise someone you think has it better than you. Or who has more than you, especially when you think they don’t deserve it and you do. But at the end of the day, life sucks for us all. You do what you have to to get through it.
“Personally, I’d rather they hate me for who I am, rather than for the lies spewed by others. But either way, I can’t change their opinions. And I refuse to be like them and to hate them for something they can’t help any more than I can help being born a prince.
“The hatred has to stop somewhere. I’m not going to let resentment for someone else, especially someone I don’t know who has never harmed me, ruin what little time I have in this existence. I’d much rather focus on trying to be happy, than looking for a reason to be miserable.”
Darling’s words haunted her. He really did have a beautiful soul even as battered as it was.
But he couldn’t change the world alone and she knew it as well as he did. Still, it didn’t stop him from trying, and that was what made him so special.
While he would risk his own life to save a complete stranger, Darling trusted very few.
Yet even with their less than perfect past, he trusted her to watch over him while he slept. Something Maris had assured her was nothing short of a miracle.
That being said, she was positively starving this morning. She’d call for food, but since she didn’t want to disturb Darling while he slept so soundly, here she lay, her stomach grumbling so loud, she was surprised it didn’t wake him.
It was okay though. She really didn’t mind. Hunger had been a part of her life for as long as she could remember. It was why she forgot to eat and why Darling nagged her about it. There wasn’t a lot of money to be made as a Resistance fighter and since her father had been an outlaw, he’d been relegated to menial jobs that didn’t require a background check or any form of government reporting. Unfortunately, those jobs didn’t pay enough for a family of five.
Anytime they’d start to piece together savings, either someone got terribly sick or they died and wiped out whatever they’d managed to put away, and then some.
And since she’d been forced to leave school before graduation, she’d been relegated to the same kinds of jobs as her father. It was why she’d been so adamant that Sorche stay in school and finish. She didn’t want her baby sister living a life this hard.
At times, she was bitter about it. Before Arturo had turned on her father, they’d been extremely wealthy. And it was why she’d wanted Arturo’s head so badly. Vengeance was an ugly thing and she’d wanted to ram her family crest down the bastard’s throat.
Now that he was gone, she didn’t know what would become of her. While Darling had been kind over the last few days, she hated being dependent on him. It wasn’t in her nature to rely on anyone for anything. And Darling had already thrown her away twice. What would keep him from selling her off the next time she did something that displeased him?
Yeah, that stuck in her craw. No longer his fiancée, no longer the leader of the Resistance, she wasn’t sure what her current role was.
Part of her still wanted to run away and start over. But her heart wouldn’t let her leave Darling while he was like this. Other than Maris, he had no one in this world who seemed to care about him. No one to watch his back.
No one to hold him while he slept, and unless he was wrapped around her or on her like now, he woke up all throughout the night in a panic and cold sweat, his eyes feral and his breathing ragged as he looked around for an attacker. But as soon as he saw her in his bed, he’d calm down and relax again. So how could she abandon him to his pain?
He never told her what those dreams were about. He didn’t need to. In his sleep, he mumbled the names of those who’d hurt him the worst. Arturo’s was the most common. But Ryn, Clarion, Pip, and Timmon were there, too. Along with other names she didn’t recognize.
And if any of them were still alive, she hoped she never met them. If she did, she’d kill them without hesitation. Whatever they’d done to him had been horrific enough to torture him even when they were in a place where they could no longer reach him.
Her heart aching for the anguish that robbed him of something as simple as peaceful sleep, she played with his hair while his breath and beard tickled her skin.
His link buzzed on the nightstand. Frowning, she started to ignore it until she saw it was Maris. He never bothered them unless it was something important.
“Darling?”
“Mmmm.” With his eyes still closed, he nuzzled against her thigh.
“Maris is calling. You want to take it?”
He scratched at his ear, then sighed before he seemed to go back to sleep.
She smiled. “Are you awake, baby?”
“No,” he groused. “I don’t want to get up. I like it here.”
Tsking at him, she reached past the computer pad he’d been using to work in bed during the past few days, and leaned over to grab the link. She placed it in his hand and tried not to think about the eyeglasses that she’d almost knocked off the nightstand in the process.