But she wasn’t ready to listen to him yet. “Where was the rest of the Sentella when you were attacked?”
“No idea. We don’t live together. And they’re not exactly my keepers.”
“They should be… Are you laughing at me?” She had the distinct impression that he was.
“No, love. Never. I’m just amused by your outrage. No woman has ever given a single shit when I’ve been hurt.” This time, she heard the thick emotion in his voice as he brushed her hair back from her face, then laid a very tender kiss on her cheek.
She savored that touch so much. Her worst fear was having to live in a world where she felt it no more. “Don’t die on me, Kere. Please.”
“I don’t intend to. In fact…” His voice trailed off.
She had no idea what he intended until he slid something cold onto her finger.
Her heart stopped as she covered it with her hand and felt the contours of it.
No, it couldn’t be.
Could it?
No matter how she tried to rationalize it, there was no mistaking the huge stone that was set in the middle of two smaller ones. “Is this—”
“I want you to marry me, Zarya,” he said, interrupting her. “I need you in my life. Every day. By my side. I know it sounds strange, but when I’m with you, I’m the man I always wanted to be. The one I feel I was born to be. And when I’m not, it’s like I’m lost to someone else… and I don’t like him anymore—not that I ever really did. But since I’ve known you, I’ve learned to detest that part of me with a passion. And I can’t keep living the lie that was forced on me.”
“What lie?”
He was silent for several seconds before he answered. “My whole life is a lie. From beginning to end. I have to be so careful with everything I say and do. I can’t drop my guard for even a heartbeat, and I don’t dare let anyone see the real me. Ever… except for you. You are my only truth. The only one who knows who I really am and what I really think. And I have to have you with me before I really do go insane. I can’t stand being without you anymore. Please say yes.”
Her heart soared until she remembered one small fact.
He refused to let her see his face or body.
Ever.
“I’m going to look really strange blindfolded at my wedding.”
He laughed. “You won’t be blindfolded.”
“You’ll look strange, standing there in your full battle gear.”
Kere kissed her lips and this time, she felt his smile. “I won’t be in battle gear.”
Her breath caught at what he was implying… Could it be? “You’re going to let me finally see you?” She reached for her lamp switch.
He caught her hand before she could turn the light on. “Not yet. I have a few things I have to put in order first. But I promise you, the next time we meet, you will see me for who and what I am. All of me.”
“I know who and what you are.”
His grip on her hand tightened ever so slightly. “No, you’ve only seen my soul, never my face, and I need a promise from you before you do.”
“Anything.”
He hesitated again as if he was afraid, something that mystified her. She’d seen him stand toe-to-toe with the baddest asses the League and Caronese government could throw at him.
Never had he flinched or faltered.
But tonight, something was bothering him in a way his enemies never had.
“When you see me, I want you to remember not to judge me by my looks.”
How could he be afraid of something so incredibly trivial? “I told you that I only judge people by their hearts.” And he had the most beautiful one she’d ever known.
“But I’m not just anyone, Zarya.”
“I know. You’re the man I love.”
He cupped her face in the palms of his hands… hands that held roughened calluses—testament, along with the scars all over his body, to how hard a life he’d lived. Her Kere was anything but a spoiled rich aristo who lived off the backs of people like her and her family and those she tried to protect from the aptly named Cruels who preyed on them all.
Though he rarely spoke of his life outside of his role in her beloved Resistance and the Sentella, she felt the road map of tragedies all over him. His past had been one marred by untold brutality and battles. All she wanted was to soothe and comfort him the way he comforted her.
“I don’t ever want you to forget that, Z. Promise me?”
“Of course.” She laid her hand over his damaged cheek. She knew he was extremely self-conscious about the scar that bisected the left half of his face, and the ones on the rest of his body. When they’d first started sleeping together, he’d kept his hair over his face and had pulled back from her touch anytime she went near that particular scar.