Hours ticked by slowly as everyone waited for any word on Darling.
Once the babies became bored and fussy, their mothers took them home and left the rest of them to pace, sit, play games on their mobiles, and crack a few random jokes.
Lise sat quietly, studying while Sorche ended up leaning against Zarya’s shoulder so that she could nap on her.
Every so often, Lise would have to get up and move around to alleviate the back pain left over from her attack. An attack Zarya tried not to think about. Especially as she watched the young woman suffering so miserably from it. Worse, was the knowledge that Lise would have to cope with it for the rest of her life. But to her credit, she didn’t complain at all. She’d walk a bit, stretch and then discreetly take medicine when it must have become truly unbearable for her.
Maris had left a few minutes ago to get more drinks for Zarya and Lise.
Zarya wished she could make time go faster. She couldn’t stand not knowing what was happening to Darling on the other side of those doors.
Kiara sucked her breath in sharply, then put her hand over her stomach.
Nykyrian, who’d been standing with the men, shot over to her with a most inhuman speed. Something made twice as impressive given the fact that his back had been to his wife. That man had some scary observation abilities. “Are you all right?”
Kiara grimaced. “Technically yes. But…” She glanced to Lise and blushed. “These seats are making my back hurt and the baby’s doing somersaults.”
Nykyrian held her hand in his. “You want me to take you home?”
Kiara bit her lip as she scanned the room. “Let me walk around a little while. I think that would help.”
“Okay.” He helped her up, then the two of them left.
Lise sighed as she watched them go. “Do you ever think about having children?” she asked Zarya.
“Sometimes. What about you?”
“I really hope I’m sterile.”
The sincerity and alacrity of Lise’s tone shocked her. “Why?”
Lise gave her an arch stare. “You’ve met my family. Why would I want to pass on our damaged chromosomes to some poor innocent child? That desire alone would mark me as a bad mother.”
Feeling terrible for the girl, she squeezed Lise’s hand. “Sweetie, there’s nothing wrong with any of you. It’s amazing how well adjusted the three of you are given everything you’ve gone through.”
“Still, I don’t think I’d ever want that kind of responsibility. No one can control when they die, and the last thing I want is to leave an unprotected child to someone who might hurt it. Most of all, I live in fear of looking at my child one day and hating its guts.”
Zarya was astonished by Lise’s words. “You would never do that, honey. Parents love their children.”
Lise scoffed at her. “You haven’t met my mother. She hates us—Drake and Darling more than me, but still… In her mind, we trapped her and she resents it. Had she not had us, she’d have been allowed to return home to her people after my father died and remarry. Instead, she was stuck in perpetual mourning until Darling took over and pardoned her from her vows.”
Only the reigning governor could allow the former governor’s consort the privilege of leaving mourning behind and having a normal life, free of her royal obligations to her dead spouse. Even then, he couldn’t do it until the second anniversary of the former governor’s passing.
In the past, the governors had always pardoned their mothers as soon as they could. Only Arturo had been cruel enough to make sure that Natale was tied to them without hope of a pardon.
Lise took a deep breath. “Darling keeps telling me that before our father’s death, Momair was extremely loving and kind. But I have no memory of her being anything other than a bitter, resentful bitch.”
Frowning, Lise glanced toward the operating room doors. “Sometimes I think it’s harder on Darling since he has memories of having a real mother, than for me and Drake. We don’t remember her being nice or giving. But when Darling talks about the past… you can see in his eyes how much he misses the parents he had. Sometimes it makes me wish that I remembered them, too. Instead, all I know about my father is what my brothers, mostly Darling, tell me. And I have no concept of being mothered by anyone except Darling and Maris.”
Zarya had to smile at that. “They are good at that, aren’t they?”
Lise nodded. “The saddest truth? I wouldn’t know anything about makeup or clothes at all, but for Maris. He was even the one who went with me to buy my first bra.”
Zarya laughed. “Seriously?”
“Oh, yeah. I’d asked Darling to go with me, but he’d been so offended that Maris had volunteered. At the time, I thought it was solely because he didn’t want me growing up. Now…”