“Because of his pain meds…”
He swallowed hard. “No, it was from the way he had to hold his mouth to speak around a busted jaw and loose teeth. You talk about feeling like a worthless piece of shit… It killed me that I wasn’t able to tell him how sorry I was for everything. That I couldn’t tell him how grateful I was he’d saved my life. That I didn’t care what anyone else said or thought about him. I was finally proud to call him my brother. Most of all, I wanted to tell him that I loved him, too.”
Drake drew a ragged breath. “Three days later when they finally took me off the ventilator and moved me to a regular room, he went to beg Ryn to help us. Something he’d never done before. But Darling was so afraid I’d go after Arturo again, that he was willing to sacrifice his dignity to keep me safe. So the fight they got into that scarred him so badly was over my dumb, stupid, ignorant ass.”
His gaze haunted, he cleared his throat. “That beating I took opened my eyes to a lot of things. I realized then that Darling had kept us at school so that we wouldn’t be in the line of Arturo’s fury, while Darling was forced to live here and bear the brunt of it. Day in and day out. And instead of saying thank you for it, all I’d ever done was insult him because I was too busy listening to lies about him rather than bothering to discover the truth for myself. To this day, I don’t understand how he stood living here, or tolerated us. He has every right to begrudge us every breath we take, and yet he doesn’t. And now you’re telling me that all this time he wasn’t even gay…” He cursed under his breath. “If that’s true, then explain to me where those photos came from.”
“I don’t know. I have no idea. But I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that Darling wasn’t a willing participant.”
Glancing down the hallway, Drake focused his gaze past her. He went ramrod stiff.
She turned to see Darling approaching them.
Darling hesitated as he saw them together in the hallway, not far from his room. “Is something wrong?” he asked her.
She smiled to allay his fears. “Not at all. We were just talking.”
Suspicion hung heavy in Darling’s gaze. “About?”
“The fact that you’re not gay, you asshole,” Drake snarled at him. “Why didn’t you ever tell me?”
Darling shrugged with a nonchalance she was pretty sure he didn’t feel. “You enjoyed insulting me over it too much. I didn’t want to take away your only creative outlet.”
“You are such a bastard. I’m serious, Dar. Why didn’t you say something?”
Darling sobered. “I know your temper, Drake. I couldn’t risk you popping off at the mouth about it to someone who might tell Arturo.”
Arms akimbo, Drake glared at him. “Thanks for the vote of confidence. Appreciate it.”
“What are big brothers for?”
“Apparently not much,” Drake breathed. “I’m going to tell Lise to get ready to leave for your surgery. I’ll see you two later.”
After Drake left them alone, she wrapped her arm around Darling’s as they continued on to his room. “Drake really loves you.”
“I know he does. Most of the time, I love him, too.” He opened the door to his bedroom and allowed her to enter first. “And I can tell by the look in your eyes that something’s bothering you. What’s wrong?”
She hesitated inside the room. “I probably shouldn’t say anything.”
“Never stopped you before.”
“True.” But this was extremely personal and she wasn’t sure how he’d react to her asking about the photographs. Fact or fiction, it had to be something that had caused him a great deal of pain over the years. As bad as Drake thought his agony was, she was certain it couldn’t compare to Darling’s.
Part of her didn’t want to dredge it up, but the other part of her wanted to know the truth.
Darling scowled at her. “You know you can talk to me about anything.”
Yeah, but she didn’t want to hurt him. He’d been kicked enough.
Taking a deep breath for courage, she forced herself to broach a topic she was sure was brutal. “Drake mentioned something about photos of you and—”
He cursed so foully it broke her words off. By his furious expression, she knew she didn’t have to finish her sentence.
Darling knew exactly what she was talking about.
“Why the hell would he mention that to you?”
“Because it was why he felt justified in insulting you when he was younger.”
“Of course it was,” Darling sneered. “ ’Cause everything’s always about Drake.”
She didn’t comment on his hostile words. “So what happened?”
Darling flinched as his memories went to a place and time he never wanted to think about again. Something he did his damnedest to never, ever remember. In a life filled with degradation and pain, that entire ordeal reigned supreme in total humiliation.
Why can’t I live that one afternoon down?
Every time he thought it was buried, it came back like a vicious curse.