Okay… She didn’t understand it, but if the men were good with it, who was she to argue?
How long did I sleep? Obviously, she’d missed something important. Turning her thoughts back to the renegade at ha, she watched Caillen with a new awareness of him. It wasn’t just that his scent was branded into her memory or the way his eyes lit up with that childlike spirit. She felt connected to him in a way she’d never been connected to anyone.
What was it about him that had made her love him when she’d never loved anyone else? Of all the men in all the universe, why Caillen Dagan?
It didn’t make sense and yet she knew she’d die to keep him safe. What a shocking realization. She’d never really thought to feel this way about anyone and she knew her mother had never loved her consorts. Not like this. Yes, she was fond of them, but when Desideria’s father had died, her mother hadn’t even reacted. She’d taken the news with the same degree of stoicism as she did the morning news from her advisors. Cold. Calculating. Distant.
If something were to happen to Caillen, she had no doubt it would devastate her entire being. The mere thought of losing him was enough to drive her to her knees.
A swell of emotions she couldn’t even identify choked her.
I love you.
Three simple words that seemed so inadequate for what she felt for him. How could anyone convey so much emotion with mere words? And yet she knew they could never be together. Especially not if they cleared their names. He was the prince and heir of his empire and she was the heiress to hers.
Their countries and politics would never allow them to unite. Two rulers couldn’t marry. It was a conflict of interest. One of them would have to step down and she knew it couldn’t be her. There was no one else to take her mother’s place. Gwen would never be able to handle the responsibility.
And Caillen wasn’t the kind of man who would willingly subjugate himself to the role he’d have to play on her world. Nor could she ask that of him.
Maybe he could beat me…
The truth was, she didn’t want to fight him for it. The thought of taking arms against him and bruising him…
She couldn’t do it.
There was no future for them. None. That reality cut through her as she realized just how hopeless all of this was. It wasn’t fair. No matter what, she would lose him.
Caillen turned in his seat to flash that familiar devilish grin at her. “You all right back there? You’re being awfully quiet.”
Fain snorted. “It’s okay to admit you’re sick from his lack of skill at the helm. No one here would think less of you for it.”
Caillen shot Fain a lethal glare. “You’re just jealous I’m a better pilot than you are.”
“Yeah, that’s so it. I live in fear of the comparison.” The dryness of that tone would rival a dust bowl.
Desideria smiled at their banter as she tried not to think about the fact that she’d have to leave him soon. “I’m fine, and Caillen is a fabulous pilot.”
All three of the men appeared shocked by her compliment. Honestly, it shocked her too. Since she’d grown up with nothing but criticism, any kind of compliment was hard for her to give to someone else. Yet she couldn’t help it. She wanted Caillen to feel good.
Girl, don’t feed that ego. The gods know, it’s the last thing you should do.
Yeah, okay, that was probably true.
Heat stung her cheeks as Caillen carefully guided them into a well-secured space station. A calm, smooth approach that was a nice change from their frenetic launch.
As they entered the bay and continued forward, guided by a tractor beam, Desideria’s eyes widened at the impressive display of artillery that followed them all the way to the landing pad. If there was any doubt about how serious the occupants were when it came to their safety, the red targeting dots put it away. If those cannons went off, there would be no escape.
She let out a low whistle. “Wow, they’re not playing around with that, are they?”
Hauk shook his head. “The Sentella can’t afford to. The League has too big a price on the head of anyone associated with them. You put one of us down, we’re taking you with us.”
Obviously.
Hauk took over the communications from Caillen as the controller gave him explicit orders to safety lock all of his weaponry. “This is XN-8-2-1 requesting clearance.”
There was a moment’s hesitation. “Voice analysis match. Welcome, drey,” said the smooth computer voice.
Drey? That word confused her as she moved to stand closer to Hauk. “What does drey mean?”
“Brother,” they answered in unison.
“What language?”
Hauk’s fangs flashed as he spoke. “Syn’s. It’s a corruption of Ritadarion and Andarion.”
Syn… Caillen’s handsome brother-in-law she’d seen in his vidframe. Desideria tucked that knowledge away as Caillen ordered her to strap herself in. She quickly took a seat and did as he asked.