Even so, he winked at her. When he spoke his words were muffled by the mask, but still discernible. “I’m not going to die on you, cupcake. I’ve got too many boo-boos for you to kiss and you owe me a big one for the hole in my chest.”
She laughed through the tears that tightened her throat. “I don’t find you amusing.” She stepped back to give them more room. “I’ll follow you to the hospital and let your sisters and father know.”
The medics took him out. She started forward only to find her way blocked by her mother.
Some emotion she couldn’t name darkened her mother’s eyes as she locked gazes. It was like her mother was looking at a stranger and she didn’t know what to think of her. “What happened to you?”
Desideria wasn’t sure how to answer that. She’d been chased, beaten, shot at.
And she’d learned to love in a way she’d never thought possible.
“I don’t have time for this.” She brushed past her mother and headed for the door.
“You don’t have my permission to leave.”
Those words and that hostile tone of voice went over her like an acid bomb. Her days of cowering were over. She’d blame it on her hour as queen, but she knew the truth.
Caillen had given her this gift.
She turned to meet her mother’s glare with one of her own. “I’m no longer a member of your Guard, Mother. Remember? You dismissed me.”
“Let her go, Sarra,” Kara said. “She’s only half Qillaq anyway.”
Desideria lifted her chin as Kara’s words angered her more. “And proud of it.” She narrowed her gaze on her aunt. “My father wasn’t a traitor. He was a damn good man and I’ll cut the throat of anyone who says differently. You should also remember, Kara, that spared your life once and saved it another. I’m not a child anymore and I will not be treated as one by any of you ever again. You don’t run my life. I do.”
Her mother pulled on the gold chain that she always wore around her neck, a chain she kept tucked right over her heart. As it came free of her body, Desideria saw that a ring dangled from it. The deep purple stone carved with a coat of arms gleamed in the light. Her mother paused to look at it before she held it out to her.
Frowning, Desideria wasn’t sure she should take it. “What is that?”
Her mother grabbed her hand, placed the ring in her palm and closed her fingers over it. “That was your father’s insignia ring. He was a prince on his world and yet he chose to stay with me even though he knew he’d never be respected again. Even though he knew he’d never see his family.” To her complete shock, her mother’s eyes teared. “You’re right, Desideria, he didn’t betray our people, but he did betray me. He swore he’d come back and instead he was killed in a ridiculous accident when the fuel line in his ship ruptured.”
Desideria couldn’t breathe as she realized her mother had lied to her about his death. “He wasn’t fighting?”
She shook her head. “My son ran away from his training facility. He was all alone and I was terrified of what would happen to him. Your father went to bring him home to me. He swore he could find him and he was the only one I knew who could, so I let him go.”
“Why did you lie to me all this time?”
“You were too young to understand and I didn’t want you or anyone else asking me questions when the mere thought of his death was more than I could bear. You were the only one who loved him as much as I did and I didn’t want you to hate him for leaving us. I’d rather you hate me and cherish his memory. He deserves that much more than I do.”
She was appalled by her mother’s twisted logic. “You allowed everyone to call him a coward. How is that love?”
Her mother winced as if the question hit her like a blow. “I’m not perfect and I hated him for years afterward. I kept thinking if he’d been stronger he would have lived. I know it doesn’t make sense, but I thought if other people insulted him, it would keep me strong.”
That had to be the most screwed-up thing she’d ever heard. And to think, they allowed her mother to lead their planet…
Part of her felt sorry for her mother, but the other part wanted to slap her for what she’d done to her father, her brother and her.
“I don’t understand why you’re telling me this now.”
Her mother glanced at Kara before she spoke. “I was stupid when I was young. I put duty ahead of family. And what did I get for it? One daughter who tried to kill me. A son I’ll never see again. Two sisters who despise me, one so much she was planning on blowing my head off, and the only person who ever really loved me died because I lacked the temerity to stand up to a law I knew was stupid and keep my son where he belonged. At my side. Chayden should have never been in harm’s way and your father should have been allowed to be the king he was born to be.”