Born of Fire

Every time Caillen felt guilty about sleeping with a woman he didn’t care about, he would always go out and buy something for her that he couldn’t afford to assuage his conscience.

And the more she thought about it, the angrier she became. “Why did you do this?”

He stopped in the foyer. “You were freezing.” He placed the bag on the sofa nearest him.

“I won’t be tomorrow.”

“Maybe, maybe not. We don’t know what we’ll be doing tomorrow, now do we?”

That was true.

Still . . .

“How much did this cost?”

He looked at her as if the question insulted him. “Why?”

“I don’t want you spending this kind of money on me.”

His eyes turned blank. “Why?”

She wanted to slap that innocent look off his face. “Why do you think?”

“Woman, I have no idea.” He crossed his arms over his chest and eyed her.

Anger burned deep in her belly. “You are a Complete Idiot!” she snarled, tossing the jacket in his face. “That’s what the C.I. stands for, doesn’t it?”

Syn caught the jacket against his chest as he gaped at her. Had she snapped a wheel?

Was she PMSing?

He followed her into the bedroom. “What’s your deal?”

She stopped and turned back to face him. “I didn’t sleep with you for presents. What do you think, I’m some whore you have to pay off?”

He couldn’t have been more stunned had she kicked him. Where had that come from? “Oh good grief, you can’t possibly think that.”

“Why not? You said you don’t love me. What does that leave?”

It left him feeling like a heel that he’d insulted her with a gift that had been purchased with only the best intentions. “I . . .” He bit his tongue before he blurted out that he did love her, that he’d only bought her the jacket because it pained him to see her uncomfortable. I would walk through the fires of hell to get you a pair of shoes.

But he could never tell her that.

“I don’t want you to feel obligated to me, Syn. I don’t want anything from you.”

Tossing the jacket on the bed, he placed his hands on her shoulders. Then he moved them to cup her beautiful face. “I know that,” he whispered, fighting the urge to draw her into his arms and squelch her fury with a kiss. “But we can’t go out in the city tomorrow dressed like we are.”

Shahara felt her heart slide to her feet. His explanation brought an even greater pain to her chest. He was just being practical. Not thoughtful.

Not even remorseful.

She rated so low on his scale that he didn’t feel even the tiniest bit of guilt for sleeping with someone he didn’t love.

“I bought both of us some clothes that wouldn’t stand out.”

“Oh,” she said, feeling completely ridiculous. Face it, girl, you don’t mean anything to him.

She tried to convince herself that it was for the best. Especially given what was to come. But her heart didn’t listen. It still hurt and wanted more from him than he was able to give.

Syn released her. “Why don’t you go and check in with your family. I’m sure they’re worried sick about you.”

Unable to speak past the lump in her throat, she nodded and went to comply. As she moved to the link, it dawned on her that this had been the longest she’d ever gone without talking to her siblings. She and Caillan kept in almost constant contact.

It wasn’t that she didn’t love them or that they were further from her thoughts—it was just . . .

She liked being with Syn. She really enjoyed him. Even though their lives were in danger and they were being hunted, she adored his company. Not even his bad mood could push her away.

I am so messed up.

Syn watched her walk away, his chest tight. What he wouldn’t give for the freedom to lay his heart at her feet. To stay with her for the rest of his life. But he’d abandoned such dreams years ago. They belonged to his childhood.

And what few he’d managed to keep had been slaughtered on the altar of Mara’s apathy and scorn. He wouldn’t make that mistake ever again.

Besides, Shahara had a family who loved her. She didn’t need his tainted love. And she definitely didn’t need his screwed-up life. His best friends were outlaws and assassins.

Yeah . . . just what a seax needed in her life.

Aching at the thought, he joined her in the sitting room.

“Where the hell have you been?” Caillen snarled so loud over the link that he could hear it from across the room. “I’ve been trying everything to get ahold of you for days. Don’t you ever check your messages? We’ve been worried to death about you.”

“As you can hear, I’m fine,” she said testily.

“Are you still with that bastard?”

Syn flinched at the hatred in Caillen’s voice.

“That’s none of your business.”

“Yeah, well, thanks to you and your hormones, Tessa’s been taken.”

Syn went cold.

“What?” Shahara asked, her voice cracking with obvious fear. “What are you talking about?”

“I got a call two days ago from a man named Merjack saying he has her and, if we want to see her alive again, you’d better turn your lover over to him.”

She turned so pale Syn thought she might faint.