She gaped at his unexpected gift. “Why?”
“We have no papers or contract now, Felicia. If you’re living in my condo without them, we’ll both be arrested. Since I don’t have any personal items here, and my official address is with the armada, it was the easiest solution. You don’t have to worry about payments for it. I don’t have any. I bought it outright. It’s all yours. You can do whatever you want with it.”
Agony tore through her at the anguished note in his voice. “This sounds like a good-bye.”
He swallowed hard. “I don’t know what it is. Honestly. But if something happens to me, I wanted to make sure that you’re taken care of.”
Her tears fell down her cheeks. “Talyn —”
“Shh.” He silenced her with another kiss as he wiped away the tears. “You know I’m stralen for you, Felicia. Your life is far more important to me than mine is. And I understand that you don’t have the same feelings for me that I have for you. I accept that. We both know we can’t marry. And I’m the armada’s and Anatole’s bitch. I would never blame you if you left me. It’s the smart thing to do. I just… I want you to be happy.”
“You’re what makes me happy. I’m going to find some way around this, Talyn. I swear it.”
“I wish you luck. The gods know, I haven’t been able to think of anything. But I do love you. Never, ever doubt that.” He squeezed her gently one more time, then stepped back. “I’ll call as soon as I can and let you know what my new orders are.”
Unable to speak past the grief that choked her, she nodded and walked with him to the lift. Her heart broke for him. Most of all, it broke for her having to let him go when all she wanted to do was hold on tighter.
And after he released her hand and stepped inside the lift and the doors closed, she fell to her knees, sobbing.
An overwhelming fear that she’d never see him again tore through her. I can’t live without you, Talyn. Please, please don’t leave me.
Chapter 22
T
alyn forced himself to slide his link into his pocket before he gave in to the ferocious need he had to call Felicia on his way back to post. He had to acclimate himself to not having her in his life.
To making it through the day without her smile in his heart.
It would be best to let her go. For all of them.
Strange, when he’d approached the agency to contract with her a few months ago, he’d never once considered that he might actually fall in love with his companion. He’d just wanted someone to be nice to him whenever he had a few hours of liberty. A female who would help with a simple biological necessity.
He’d assumed that she would treat him like everyone else did. Subpar. And watch the clock until he was gone and she could return to her life and friends.
The last thing he’d expected was a female who looked at him and treated him like he was fully Vested. One who actually liked him and wanted to spend time in his company.
Now…
Felicia owned him. Heart and soul. Mind and body. He wasn’t really the armada’s bitch.
He was Felicia’s. Happily so. She was the one thing he couldn’t live without. Worse, she was the one weakness that could destroy him.
Damn.
Leaving her was so painful. Like having a limb ripped from his body. You’re an idiot. Just let her go and move on.
It was the sanest and safest thing to do.
The problem was learning how to live without her again. Which made no sense. He’d lived the vast majority of his life without any knowledge of her existence. She’d only been in his life for a few months.
Yet he needed her in ways he wouldn’t have thought possible. For the first time, he was beginning to understand his mother and why she still loved his bastard father after everything he’d done to them. If she’d felt one-tenth of this for Fain Hauk, he totally got why she wouldn’t let him bad-mouth the male who deserved it. Why his mother had never looked twice at anyone else.
Yes, some of it was the stralen. But even before it’d set in, Talyn had been viciously drawn to Felicia against all sanity. Honestly, he’d fallen in love with her picture before they even met. There had just been something in her eyes that had reached out to him and made him burn for her. Made him want to sink himself inside her warmth and hold her until time ended.
Talyn started to pull out the link and call her, until he realized it was too late. They were pulling in to base.
Damn it! He should have been talking to her the whole time. There was no telling when he’d have a chance to speak to her again.
If ever.
I fucking blew it. He could kick his own ass for being so stupid.
The transport stopped as the guard approached his window. Talyn rolled it down and handed over his security badge that had yet to be updated with his new rank. “Reporting for duty.”
Born of Defiance
Sherrilyn Kenyon's books
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