No. Just no. Me and my libido were not his problem.
Far safer for me to head back to the Trudeaus’ where I could check in on Dad. Bunking with my uncle guaranteed tomorrow’s pickup would be awkward since White Horse had left town as far as he knew, but the location would protect the coterie from exposure. If my desire had been a thread, Cole’s had been a noose cinched around my throat, choking off all oxygen except for what he allowed me. I wouldn’t put him through that again.
Air mattress it is.
“Earth to Bou-Bou.” Rixton waved a hand in front of my face, drawing my attention to the fact we were parked in his driveway. “Are you coming inside to see the missus?” He jabbed me in the ribs with his elbow. “We can order pizza. Watch a movie.” He licked his pinky finger then smoothed his eyebrows. “You can babysit while Sherry and I —”
“I can’t be in the same house as you while you’re doing… that.” I slapped my hands over my ears. “I have a long day ahead of me, and I don’t need the nightmares.”
“That’s right,” he mouthed in front of me. “You have a date tomorrow.”
Me and my big mouth. “Say it with me: scenic drive.” While hunting for cat-mummifying demons. “Natchez Trace Parkway is gorgeous this time of year.” I lowered my hands in defeat. “You should take your girls on a picnic or something.”
He fluttered his eyelashes at me. “Is that an invitation to join you?”
“The fall colors won’t be out in full force until mid-October,” I countered sweetly. “For maximum romance, you should wait until then.”
His eyes almost vanished in their crinkles. “So you admit it’s romantic.”
“I’m out.” I left him to choke on his smugness and got in my Bronco. “What the —?” I reached under my butt and pulled out a thin piece of metal. “You’ve got to be kidding me.” Self-conscious as all get-out, I inhaled the way Thom always seem to be doing, but I didn’t pick up any peculiar scents. I sniffed the phone itself, feeling ten kinds of stupid, but all I picked up was leather from the bifold. “So much for my demonic super powers.”
A rap on the glass startled me into dropping the thing in the floorboard. I cranked the engine and lowered the window while Rixton gave me an expectant look I couldn’t interpret. “What?”
“Are you having second thoughts about —” he winked four or five times in a row “— you know?”
“Helping you get laid?” Jabbing the button, I waited until the glass almost sealed before chirping, “Nope.”
“You’re a cold woman, Boudreau.” He clutched his chest. “Dare I say heartless?”
“What?” I cupped a hand around one ear. “Did you say something? I can’t hear you.”
The porch light flicked on, and I spotted Sherry moving behind the window. If I wanted to make a clean getaway, this was my only chance. I tossed a wave at Rixton, put the Bronco in gear, then backed out faster than Sherry could take the stairs while also pretending not to see her. A low move, yes, but she would talk my ear off if I let her, and I wanted a little quiet time to gather my thoughts before bed.
Briiiiiiing.
I sucked in air through my front teeth while my heart slammed against my ribs, a Pavlovian response that made my fingers itch for the rotary phone on my nightstand. Not answering was next to impossible. Had the cell not been sliding beneath my feet, I would have caved to years of conditioning.
Briiiiiiing.
Of all the ringtones in all the apps in all the world, Wu had to select that one.
The tang of copper in my mouth was the first sign I had let my anxiety gnaw a layer of skin off my bottom lip. Cursing a blue streak, I turned in to the first fast food chain I spotted and scooped up the silent phone. This time I hit redial before my brain caught up with my thumb.
“How did you know?” I demanded the second he answered. “Who told you about the ringtone?”
Wu chuckled in my ear. “Who do you think?”
The phone cut into my fingers, but I couldn’t seem to loosen them. “How do you know him?”
“It’s a small world.”
Compared to my world as of a week ago? This new world of demons and infinite hells was freaking endless. “Does he work for the NSB too?”
Wu let the silence do the heaving lifting for him.
Yet another thing he had in common with Ezra.
“Answer me, or I’m taking a hammer to this cell when I get where I’m going. I’ll do the same to the next one and the next one and the next one until I find you and shove the carrot you’re dangling in front of my nose straight down your throat.”
“Why does he matter so much to you?”
I clamped my mouth shut until my raw lips tingled and numbed from the pressure.
“Show me yours,” he coaxed, “and I’ll show you mine.”
“I used to think he had all the answers, that he knew me, okay?” For the longest time, some small corner of my heart had been convinced I mattered to him. Why else call? Why else make a connection? Why else spare me the agony that pressed in on me every year on my birthday? Without his intervention, I clawed at the unquenchable itch like I might rake the skin from my bones and reveal what lurked beneath. Only Ezra could stay my hand, his voice more soothing than calamine lotion. “I want to look him in the eyes, put a face to the name, at least once. He owes me that much. I deserve an explanation.”
“An explanation for what?” Wu’s curiosity burned. “What is it you think he owes you?”
“Ask him.”
Fifteen years’ worth of phone calls, and all I had was a name. Ezra. Maybe I ought to come clean to my coterie. They were my best source of information, and their lives were directly tied to mine. They had no reason to lie to me. Not about something that affected my health and wellbeing, my ability to fight.
Except… What if they did know about my condition? We were still feeling each other out at this stage. They might be withholding critical information that could be wielded against me in the event I turned on them, and I couldn’t blame them for wanting to protect themselves if that was the case.
Miller had sold me on one point. Living with your inner demon’s potential for destruction was easier when someone else held your leash.
As much as I wanted answers, I would content myself with discovering them on my own to protect the coterie and any secrets they carried. Ignorance was a flimsy protection, but it was all I could offer them. The potential for them to rally and take me down was a comfort. And, I had to admit, I was curious.
Ezra wasn’t a member of my coterie. The math didn’t support him belonging to War either. Had she breached during those early years, bringing him with her, I had no doubt she would have killed me after discovering my defect. Yet he nursed me through those inexplicable pains rather than letting me suffer alone.
Following that logic, my mystery caller must be enrolled in the NSB’s demon program. As close as Kapoor claimed they watched me, there was no way those calls had gone unnoticed all these years, meaning Ezra had to be a remnant from an earlier cadre or the descendant of one.
That made him old, dare I say an antique, but if he was registered with the NSB, there must be a paper trail to follow once I got inside and gained access to their records.
Well, what do you know? This put a new shine on the deal Kapoor made me.
“Be careful tomorrow.” Wu yanked me from my thoughts. “Ubaste might be lower charun, but they’re still vicious.”
Weren’t we all? “I didn’t know you cared.”
“I want you in one piece when they turn you over,” he said, “otherwise you’re useless to me.”
At least he was honest. “Thanks for the pep talk.”
“Anytime.” I heard his grin. “Remember your phone next time.”
“About that —”
He hung up on me before I could read him the riot act.