Christian opened his mind to Victoria as he delved into his memories and images flooded her mind. She was lost in the pictures of his past, no longer on the couch beside him but in a different world, a different time.
Dressed in riding breeches, boots, and a waist-coat with a smart riding jacket, Christian was a polished young man surveying his estate as a red-orange sun descended beyond a row of hills. The landscape rolled for miles, acres and acres of perfectly manicured gardens. A large L-shaped stone mansion loomed behind him.
Victoria felt herself gasp at its magnificent lushness. Fontainebleau, he thought to her. She watched the young Christian climb onto a skittish black horse that calmed the minute he whispered something into her ears. She sensed that the horse was afraid of the monster it carried, but it still gave in to its master's velvet commands.
In his recollection, a girl in a yellow dress approached him. "Your Grace, your brother Lord Devereux sent me to welcome you back home," she told him. Her face was flushed and the young Christian was clearly affected. He turned away but Victoria could feel his aching desire as fresh as it was then.
"Go," he told the girl. It was little more than a growl. "I do not want ... you."
"Please my Lord Duke, he will kill me should I return. Please." Her voice was beseeching as she pulled a yellow scarf from her neck. Blood flowed from a vertical incision already cut deep into her flesh. The smell buckled every restraint within him, just as Lucian had known it would, and he flew off the horse toward the girl in a single leap.
"Will my brother stop at nothing?" he snarled, bending the girl's neck to the side. He bent, drawn despite himself, a terrible change ripping through his body. It was only the terrified rearing of the horse beside him that made him snap out of the fog of hunger consuming him. Christian staggered back. "Tell Lord Devereux I said go to hell, and I shall be happy to join him there!"
Victoria could feel Christian's self-disgust buried deeply into the memory. She squeezed his hand, and the images dissipated. His regret was suffocating, even now. He turned to her.
"Lucian did that often, and sometimes, too many times to count, I gave in to the horror of what I was ... am. There was no way back so eventually I stopped fighting."
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be. I've long made peace with what I am," Christian said. "Before long, Lucian and I were at odds with each other and started to drift apart. He used to say I was too soft. As the first-born twin, I was a Vampire Lord, but I wanted no part of Lucian's regime so I abdicated my rights to him, and left. The House of Devereux is now a very powerful vampire coven and Lucian is feared by many."
"Why?" Victoria asked.
"Let's just say that he is where he is because he takes what he wants, brutally if necessary. Lucian is very, very powerful and very, very ruthless."
"But you don't live by his rules?"
"Yes and no. Yes, because I am bound to protect who we are, the House of Devereux, and he will always be my brother even though I don't agree with his principles. And no, because I am here," he said simply.
"Is it hard being away from your family?"
"Why do you ask?" Christian asked, surprised by her question.
"I don't have anyone but my Aunt Holly. If I did, I'd want to be near them, that's all," she said, shifting as he curled an arm around her. The warmth from the fireplace coupled with her exhaustion, made her eyelids heavy. She leaned into his embrace, forgetting for an instant everything she'd discovered about him, and gave in to the sweetness of just being held. "Family is important, isn't it? And knowing who you are, and where you belong?"
"Yes," he said. "But sometimes we're forced to make choices ... hard ones, just for the sake of family. Lucian wanted something I had, and it was easy for me to give it up. The Devereux mantle always meant more to him than it ever did to me."
Christian trailed off, for a moment lost again in his own memories. Victoria left him alone this time, sensing his need for momentary solitude.
AFTER A WHILE, Christian shifted and realized that Victoria had fallen asleep, the warmth of the fireplace and the hypnotic thud of his heartbeat combining to lull her into a fitful slumber. Her breathing was deep and even, her trust in him absolute. Even the threat of shadowy creatures lurking in the darkness hadn't been able to stop her eyes from closing. Christian had felt her heart accelerate ten times in the last hour. She'd been afraid. Yet despite her fear, she had seen something inside of him worth staying for.
Not wanting to wake her, Christian lifted her carefully against his chest and carried her upstairs, watching as she curled into a tiny ball under the sheets. She looked so small in the giant bed. He sat down next to her, brushing the hair off her face and clasping her fingers in his own. She mumbled something and shivered.