Nothing. You could if you so wished, Leto said, nonchalant.
Her eyes flicked to his. "Then that makes me just like Brigid," she said. Her eyes remained on Leto. I will not use this power at the expense of everything I cherish and love, against what I know is right. I won't.
Leto's expression did not change as she left the room but she could sense something like disappointment radiating from his thoughts. It puzzled her. Did he want her to control people? To use her powers in a way that went against everything good inside of her?
For the first time, Victoria understood that the gray area between right and wrong had become larger, and more indistinct. Things, once simple, were more complicated. Black and white blurred into each other, and with this strange power of hers, intent wouldn't always be enough, it could always be twisted.
Was she strong enough? Or would she succumb to the dark side of her power that terrified her? Would she become Brigid? She could still feel the weight of Leto's thoughts pressing in upon her. Victoria fled from his presence but his thoughts still followed.
Don't be afraid of who you are. You cannot hope to control your power if you do not understand it and who you are. You must protect yourself at all costs, even against those you ... love. He hesitated lost for a moment, and Victoria felt his thoughts flicker briefly into a strange nothingness before moving back to the consciousness she recognized. His words were hard. Love is a breeding ground for betrayal. Guard against it.
Unable to bear any more, she closed her mind to him.
At dinner that night, she stared furtively at Holly, wondering how and whether she could broach the subject.
"Darling, if you slice that chicken any more, you won't need to chew it." Victoria stared down at her plate and laughed at the pile of shredded food.
"Sorry, just distracted about something."
"What is it, dear?"
"Aunt Holly, did you ... did my grandmother ever tell you anything about her?"
"Like what?"
"Things about her past? Who she was? Did you ever notice anything different or strange about her?"
"Darling, is something wrong?" Holly looked concerned. "Why don't you just tell me what's bothering you? Did you find something of Emmeline's in your music box?"
"I think my grandmother had secrets, a lot of secrets that she kept hidden, things like the music box and the amulet, and ... I was just wondering if you ... knew anything," she finished lamely.
Victoria paused, maybe Leto was right, a flash of Holly's consciousness would be easier, and safer—No!—she would try to be more specific. "Did you ever see her do anything? Make things happen, you know, as if by magic?" She stared at her plate, flushed from saying it aloud. "Forget about it, it's nothing."
The sound of Holly's laughter filled the room, and Victoria's head snapped up. "I was wondering when you'd get around to asking me about Emmeline's abilities." Holly stood and walked over to sit on the chair nearest Victoria, and grasped her hands in hers.
"You knew? All this time and you never said anything?"
"I couldn't. She made me promise, only until you came to me," Holly said with a sad smile. "I don't know everything, just what Emmeline told me. About what she was, and what you are. When she died ..." Holly choked, "she made me swear to always look out for you, and for Leto."
"Leto?"
"Yes, didn't he tell you?"
Betrayed by those you love? she hissed mentally, pushing her savage feelings out toward Leto and feeling him recoil from their force. You knew! Was it another one of your tests? Was it? Her words thrust themselves into his mind like daggers. She could feel him blocking her but she tore past his defenses. You want me to be cruel, use my power to control ... to hurt! How does it feel? How does it feel?
I was also bound, Victoria. I am sorry. Leto's words were gasps, and belatedly, Victoria realized that she was crushing him so terribly with the force of her own mind that he was barely conscious. She released him with a strangled cry. Holly reached for her automatically.
"No," Victoria said in a hoarse voice. "Don't touch me. I'm monstrous."
"Tori, darling, you are not," Holly said. "You have every right to be upset. It's human to be angry. But you must pull yourself in. You must control your anger—it is the one thing that you cannot afford to give in to." Holly held Victoria's shoulders firmly, her voice urgent. "Victoria? Do you understand?"
"Yes." The blood. Victoria could feel it uncoiling like a giant snake within her, flexing ... testing the walls of her all-too fragile control of it. She heaved several breaths into her body, her fingers reaching for the amulet, hot against her chest. The word flashed into her brain.