chapter SEVENTEEN
The storm stopped a second after I staggered under the overhang. Unfortunately, that still left me soaked and chilled. Timon was just as wet when he came charging up, but he also looked so mad that I could believe he didn’t even feel it.
“Foul!” he croaked. “Cheat!”
“Bullshit,” I answered. “You had your robot spitting fire at me before I broke out the rifles, punched you, or anything else.”
“I’m not talking about that!” He was still yelling, or anyway, doing his best with a bruised throat, and drops of spit flew from his mouth. The rain had washed some of the BO off, but hadn’t done a thing for his breath. “I’m talking about the other traitors! This was supposed to be a contest between you and me, and you had help every inch of the way!”
“Yeah.” Water trickled from the hair plastered across my forehead down into my eyes, and I swiped it to one side. “And all you had was a whole army of puppets and the power to control time and the weather.”
“That’s not the point!”
“True. This is the point. We agreed on a set of rules. They didn’t say anything about me sneaking in helpers, and anything they didn’t forbid was okay. That’s the way you lords play.” I turned to the Pharaoh. “Am I right?”
The mummy smiled and blew a stream of smoke. “I’d have to say that that’s a fair assessment.”
“Damn it!” Timon said. “He isn’t one of us!”
“He is now,” the Pharaoh said. “Because I declare him the winner. And, knowing you for the fine fellow you are, I’m confident you don’t really intend to be a bad sport about it.”
“Yeah,” I said. “Look where that got Wotan.”
Timon gave me a final glare. But then his shoulders slumped, and he thrust out his hand. “Just tell me how,” he gritted.
“How did I get Lorenzo, Murk, and the others into your private playground? Well, it turns out there’s this thing called lucid dreaming. It lets people control what they dream. There are Internet sites and books about it. You should check it out.”
“I know about it! There’s nothing there with the power to weaken my magic!”
“No,” I said. “Definitely not by itself. But Tampa’s full of Old People who know a whole bunch of weird hexes, and no offense, but all of them hate your guts. We took the lucid dreaming info and put it together with their tricks and the stuff you taught me. And once we picked the team of guys to help me, I gave them each a zap of mojo from my Ka. Usually, that’s how I heal people, but this time, it was extra strength to help them get inside this place and do what they needed to.”
Timon scowled. “It was still a fluke! And one I’ll make sure never happens again!”
“That’s okay,” I said. “We only needed it to happen once. Which kind of brings me to the awkward part. I don’t want you hanging around town figuring out how to get back at me and the other ‘traitors.’ Get out. Now. Before sunrise. Otherwise, I may not be able to kill you, but I’ll find a way to make you wish I had.”
Timon made a spitting sound. “That almost sounded like a real lord giving orders. But you aren’t, and you won’t last.”
“Believe it or not, that’s okay, too.”
He waved his hand like you’d brush away a fly. And suddenly I was lying in bed looking at the ceiling.
I grabbed the phone and started calling around. A’marie, Lorenzo, and the rest of the squad were all okay. Everybody had woken up with his head still screwed on straight.
The T-bird was okay, too. I guessed there was no reason it shouldn’t have been, but I still breathed a sigh of relief when I saw that the pounding it had taken in dream hadn’t slopped over into the waking world.
Speaking of cars, the Pharaoh gave Timon a lift to the airport in his Rolls. I was pretty sure he did it to make sure Timon really did fly out without causing any trouble, and I appreciated it. It sounds crazy to say it made up for all the ways he’d messed with me. But I figured that if a lord only tried to murder you when the two of you were playing a game, and acted like a stand up guy the rest of the time, that was really all you could expect.
Two nights later, there was a celebration in the Icarus. No flunkies and big shots, nobody waiting on anybody else, just the whole fief having fun. I saw some kinds of Old People I hadn’t seen before. Also some party games that seriously creeped me out. But I had a good time.
Good enough that, while I wasn’t totally wasted, I knew it would be a bad idea to drive home afterward. And there was no reason I needed to. In theory, I owned the hotel, at least for the moment. I headed for my old room.
I don’t know how A’marie knew I was coming, but the piping started as soon as I stepped off the stairs. Suddenly I wasn’t even a little bit tired, and if I still had a buzz on, it wasn’t the same kind as before. My heart beat faster, and I started getting hard.
The door was unlocked. A’marie was propped up on a mound of pillows with the panpipes to her lips and the sheets pulled up to cover her.
I smiled and said, “I thought I was done with people trying to hex me.”
She blushed. “I thought we could go on celebrating. But I know you haven’t forgotten Leticia. And I’m not exactly what you’re used to.”
I flashed the Thunderbird. And apparently she felt me shake off her power, because she looked hurt and reached for the clothes she’d left on a chair.
“It’s all right!” I said quickly. “I just don’t want you thinking later that it took magic to get me in the mood.”
What happened next was good. Good enough to push any stray thoughts of Leticia right out of my head.
I woke up around noon, and watched A’marie sleep for a while. Eventually I kissed the owl, crow, and cat tattooed on her shoulder. That woke her, and we picked up where we left off.
After that, with her snuggled up against me, I said, “I don’t want to get up. But I suppose everybody’s waiting on me. To turn over the water to Murk and then announce that I’m not the lord of the land anymore.”
A’marie frowned. “What are you talking about?”
“Renouncing the throne? Isn’t that what they call it?”
“You can’t do that!”
“What do you mean? It’s what I promised to do, when we were all making plans and I said we’d set Tampa free.”
“Everybody took that to mean, free of Timon. Free of bad rulers. Not free from any government at all.”
“You can have a government. You can have a better one. I mean, you live in America next door to us humans. You’ve seen how we do things.”
“So you figured we were all ready for democracy? Just waiting for a chance to write a constitution and hold elections?”
“Well… yeah. I guess.”
“Well, sorry, but things are more complicated than that. There are old traditions and feuds that would make it hard. There are lords all over the country who’ll try to take over if they see an empty throne.”
“Maybe so, but I can’t really be a lord. I don’t know anything about it.”
“I’ll help you. Everybody will.”
“But I don’t want to be a lord.”
She smiled. “Too bad. You’re stuck with it. Because you’re the only one the other lords will see as the rightful ruler. And you didn’t risk your life to kick Timon out just to let one of the other real monsters move in.”
I took a long breath. “I guess we could at least say I’m the boss. For a little while. Until we figure out something better.”
“There you go.”
“But if that is what we’re doing, then nobody’s a thrall. And nobody’s eating any humans, either.” Her smile widened. “What are you grinning at?”
“I think you’re going to do fine. And I think your father would be proud of you.”
I didn’t know about that. But hearing her say it, and looking into her bright silver eyes, I felt happier than I’d felt in a long time.
I’m glad I didn’t know what was coming next.
The End…