Black Moon Beginnings

chapter Fourteen

I roll over, slowly open my eyes, and look around my room. It is still dark outside. The clock on the nightstand reads 5:30 a.m. It’s still early, but I figure I have gotten enough sleep. Getting out of bed proves to be a difficult task. My body is sore from sleeping for so long, but my stomach is no longer throbbing and I feel more energized than before. I walk over to the bathroom to take a shower and gasp when I see my reflection. My hair, still partially braided, is sticking out in every direction. I reach back and pull the hair tie out, gently releasing the hair from the braid. Braiding curly hair never works out well. My clothes are a wrinkled mess with blood stains still on them.

I turn the water on and let it warm up. I undress, throw the clothes into a pile in the corner, and look at my stomach in the mirror. It’s amazing. Besides my old scar, there’s nothing showing that I was shot yesterday. I step into the shower and let the water cascade down me, washing away all the pain from the last couple of days. I feel like a new person. I stay in for so long that the hot water starts to cool. I turn the handle, and wait until the last drop falls from the shower head before getting out. I wrap a towel around me and walk back to the room, to pick out an outfit from the closet.

I hear a knock on the door. Turning away from the closet, I walk to the door and open it, using it as a shield to hide my towel covered body.

David stops pacing when he hears the loud squeak of the door opening. Seeing me, he rushes into the room and pulls me to him for a tight hug.

“You’ve had us all worried. Colton and I have checked on you periodically for the last 24 hours,” his chest rumbles as he speaks. I feel him tense under me when he realizes what I’m wearing. He pushes me back, running his eyes down the length of my body. I grab the top of the towel, making sure it stays securely in place. I feel very vulnerable and I know my face turns crimson.

“Sorry…I’ll…uhhh...leave you to…get dressed.” He is blushing too and won’t look at me. He swiftly brushes past and leaves the room, shutting the door in the process. I’ve never seen him blush before. It’s adorable.

I grab a pair of jean shorts and a black shirt. It’s a little tight across my chest, but loose on the stomach. It reveals a little more skin that I am comfortable with, but I need to do laundry, so it’ll have to do. I walk downstairs and find Claire, Tom, Colton, and David all sitting in the living room. I am surprised to see them considering how early it is, but happy nonetheless.

Colton jumps up from his seat and runs towards me, engulfing me in a hug. “Are you okay? Do you still hurt?”

I laugh at his concern, “I feel great. How long was I asleep?”

Claire comes up to me and gives me a small hug. “It’s been about 36 hours. You’re body needed it.”

“Thirty-six? I was out for over a day?”

Colton puts his arm across my shoulder, “I hope you didn’t want to go to graduation, because you kind of missed it.”

“Oh! I missed graduation?” I say with mock sadness. Graduation isn’t on the top of my priorities right now.

Tom walks up to me, “I’m glad to see you up and about. You scared us there.”

“You must be hungry,” says Claire. At that moment, my stomach decides to loudly growl. I look down at my stomach, and back up at everyone.

“I must be.”

I follow Claire into the kitchen, where she has pancakes already made, cooling on a plate. I grab three, and slather them with peanut butter, and drench them in syrup. I am so hungry, I feel like I hadn’t eaten in…well over a day. Claire pats my shoulder, and kisses my temple, “I’m glad you’re feeling better. I have to go into the shop today. Alex called in sick this morning.” I nod, not able to speak with the food in my mouth.

Tom turns to me and thumps me on the back, “I’m going to shower. I’ll be back down in a little while.”

Colton and David sit across from me. David hasn’t spoken to me since I’d come downstairs and averts his gaze every time I look at him. When I finish eating, I drop my fork loudly onto my plate and look at him.

“Are you going to avoid me forever?”

Colton looks at David, “Why are you avoiding her?”

“I’m not avoiding you.”

“You can’t even look at me.”

Colton is clearly confused. “What’s happened?”

David clears his throat and turns towards his brother, “I…uhh… well…” He stutters.

“He walked into my room this morning after I had showered. I answered the door and he rushed in and gave me a hug and then freaked out when he realized I was only wearing a towel.” He starts blushing again.

“That’s all? It’s not like you saw her naked or anything,” says Colton.

“I know. I know…It was just embarrassing. I shouldn’t have barged in like that. Thank goodness you couldn’t hear my thoughts. You didn’t read my mind, right?” I shake my head.

Colton scoffs, “What guy wouldn’t think inappropriate things if they saw a beautiful girl in just a towel?” I feel my eyes widen and eyebrows rise at their conversation. My face turns even redder. They seem to have forgotten that I am standing across from them. I clear my throat and they both turn to me. A look of surprise crosses both of their faces.

“So….on a different note, I met Liam again.”

David looks happy for the topic change. Colton’s expression is indecipherable. “What happened?” he asks.

“I don’t know exactly. I woke up in the middle of a field, similar to the one where I first met him. He came and sat down beside me. We talked for a while and I found out that he is actually a real person; not a figment of my imagination. He’s a mage like us. He said he was…a dream-walker?”

David’s eyes widen, “He’s a dream-walker? That’s incredibly rare.”

“Well, I don’t trust him. Something doesn’t seem right,” says Colton.

“I trust him.”

Logan walks into the kitchen at that moment. “Morning, Sleeping Beauty, how are you feeling?” I look behind me to make sure that he’s talking to me. Logan laughs and nods. “Yes, I’m talking to you.”

“I feel great. Thank you so much for everything you did.” For the first time, I notice how young he actually is. He looks to be in his early twenties, with short dark brown, almost black, hair and bright blue eyes. He looks like the perfect boy next door. He is equally as muscular as all the other guys in the family.

“You’re very welcome, sweetheart.” I smile at him. This whole family is very casual about using endearments on others.

“Good morning everyone.” The girl who got shot walks into the kitchen, joining the rest of us, looking chipper.

Everyone turns around and says “Morning Emma.”

She walks over to me and says, “Hi, I’m Emma.”

“Ryanne.” I reply.

“Yeah, I know who you are.”

I look towards her, confused, and suddenly remember my vision. She was tortured by Dravin, who is trying to find out information about me. “I’m so sorry about what that happened to you. I can’t help but feel like I’m responsible.”

She starts violently shaking her head. “No, no! Don’t feel like that. You are in no way responsible for anything that man is doing.”

“He’s torturing people to try and find me.”

“You can’t think about what he is doing. You know what he did to me; I can’t imagine what he would do to you if he got his hands on you.” We all shiver thinking about it. “Oh, and I’m sorry you got shot because of me.”

I smile at her, “That’s fine. It didn’t hurt that much.”

She laughs at my comment. I hope that she is going to stay here for a while. It would be nice to have a girl around. I get up and put my plate in the dishwasher. Tom walks back into the room, rubbing a towel through his hair.

“So, Ryanne, you up for training today?”

Three heads whip towards Tom. Logan, Colton, and David all start complaining.

“She still needs to rest.”

“She just woke up, man.”

“Let her relax a little.”

I turn towards him, ignoring the chorus of voices, “I would love to. I’ve slept for too long. I need to exercise, get the blood flowing, you know?” All three turn towards me. I can tell that they don’t want me to do anything, but I need to do something. I’m tired of sitting around. Danger won’t wait. It’s coming for me whether I want it to or not and I need to be prepared. I brush past everyone, “I’ll meet you up there in five.” Leaving them shocked at my departure, I walk back into my room and change.

I get up to the training room before anyone else, so I start stretching. I forgot a hair tie in my room and don’t want to go back to find one, so I hope that I will be fine without pulling my hair back today.

I feel someone walk up behind me. I turn around and smack straight into Logan’s chest. Laughing, he grabs my arms to steady me, “Watch where you’re going there, shorty.”

“Is there anyone in your family shorter than six feet tall? My neck is starting to hurt from looking up so often.”

He thinks about it for a minute, and replies, “Nope.”

I hit him on the chest, playfully, “Are you serious?” I honestly can’t tell.

He pokes me in the stomach, causing me to jump back. I am extremely ticklish. His eyes widen and he looks at me with the biggest grin I’ve ever seen. I know the look in his eyes.

“Oh no, you don’t.” I start backing up. He starts stalking towards me. I turn around and run. I make it a few steps before he jumps behind me and starts tickling my stomach. I double over laughing and try squirming away, but he has a strong grip on me, following me everywhere I go.

“Say it.” He continues tickling. I fall to the ground, laughing.

“Never.” I manage to get out through the giggles. He follows me to the ground. After my stomach starts hurting from laughing so much, I finally say, “Mercy. Mercy!”

He stops tickling me. With his body perched over mine, he smiles down at me. We stare at each other for a little bit, while I attempt to catch my breath.

“Thank you. I needed that.” I haven’t laughed like that in so long.

“What’s going on here?” I arch my head back on the mat and see David, Colton, Tom, and Emma strolling into the room. I know what this looks like: me lying with my back to the mat, smiling like an idiot, and breathing heavily with Logan propped over me. I feel my face redden for what seems like the millionth time today.

Logan gets up and reaches down to help me up.

“I found out that Ryanne is very ticklish.” I stand up and take a couple of steps away from him, covering my stomach. I look around the room and see David and Tom with amused expressions. Emma is staring at David and Colton is glowering at Logan.

“Once Ryanne is finally able to breathe again, we can start weapons training,” says Tom.

“We get to train with weapons today?” I ask, suddenly excited.

“Yeah, but first we’ll just spar. Emma and Ryanne, you can spar each other. It’ll be a little more fair that way. Emma knows martial arts,” Tom says to me, “and Ryanne knows gymnastics and basic self-defense techniques,” he tells Emma. “David, you work with me. Colton and Logan, you two spar together. Go.”

Emma and I walk to the back of the training room and get into defensive stances, each of us waiting for the other to attack first. I hear grunts and hits throughout the room, telling us that the others have already started. We both turn and see everyone sparring. Logan and Colton seem especially into it. David and Tom aren’t as aggressive. Turning our attention back to each other, Emma swings her arm out, aiming for my head. I deflect her blow, hitting her in the stomach with my other arm. She leans forward and grabs her stomach. Giving me a serious look that says, oh it’s on, she runs at me again.

This time, jumping in the air, foot outstretched, she aims at my chest. Her foot connects, sending me backward, knocking the wind out of me. She attempts to hold me down, but I roll out of the way, placing my palms down on the mat beside my head. I arch my back and kick my feet up, giving me enough momentum to flip over and stand, facing Emma again. I take a few steps back, distancing myself. I run towards her, before jumping straight into the air and lunging forward. My hands connect with the mat and I swing my feet over my head into a flip, rotating twice in the air, before successfully landing in front of her. Without missing a step, I drop to the ground and swing my leg out, knocking her down. She connects with the mat and stays for a second, before jumping back up and facing me.

There is hair pulling, punching, and kicking. We continue sparring for a while; neither one of us gaining any leverage on the other. When I can tell both of us are getting tired, we hear a whistle. We stop what we are doing and turn in the direction of the noise, meeting four sets of eyes. Logan, David, and Colton are all staring at us with their mouths hanging open while Tom seems really proud.

Tom says, “I think that is enough for now. Let’s take a ten minute break.” He walks towards Emma and me with bottles of water in his hands. We each take one and thank him before opening it and drinking half of it right then and there. We are both breathing heavily and sit, well more like fall, on the ground worn out.

I turn towards her, “I’m sorry if I hurt you at all during that.”

She grabs her shoulder, wincing. I’d kicked her there at one point. With a smile, she adds, “Don’t worry. I retaliated just as hard.”

“Yeah,” I laugh. “I think you pulled out a fistful of my hair.”

We fall into a comfortable silence, drinking our water and trying to catch our breath. The guys walk over and sit across from us, still staring.

Emma speaks first, “What the heck are you guys staring at?”

David looks at me first, but his eyes linger on Emma, “You guys were great. We couldn’t concentrate on our own sparring, because we saw both you doing flips off the walls and stuff.” He turns and looks at me again, “It was better than watching you kick Colton’s butt the other day.” I laugh remembering the surprised looks on both of their faces the first time I pulled out my gymnastics training.

Colton jokingly punches his brother, “Hey, hey. She beat you too!” He hits my leg, “I can’t believe that you learned some of that a couple days ago.

“It was very impressive,” says Logan. I smile at him and continue drinking my water. I tip the bottle back and frown when nothing comes out.

Colton chuckles at me, “Here, have the rest of mine.” I gratefully take it from him and drink the rest. I am still thirsty when I finish his, but I know that I shouldn’t drink too much, because we still have more training to do.

I fall back onto my back, gazing up at the ceiling. I close my eyes, waiting for Tom to come back into the room and start the weapons training.

“I think you killed Ryanne, Emma,” says David.

“Not likely. I’ll think twice before I call someone small again. She’s feisty.” She says with a laugh and everyone follows suit.

Without opening my eyes, I point in the direction of the guys sitting across from me and warn, “Yeah, that’s right. Think twice before bringing out another short joke. David. Logan.”

“Okay, are you guys all prepared to start again?” David, Colton, and Logan jump up, eager to start. Emma and I remain on the ground, still tired from the earlier sparring. David reaches down to help Emma while Colton and Logan both extend a hand for me. I glance between both of them, before taking both hands in mine and letting them pull me up.

“I know you haven’t Ryanne, but have you ever fought with a sword before, Emma?” She shakes her head. “Ok, I want you two to sit back and just watch for now; get a feel for what is involved. We’ll start your training some other time.”

“Oh, thank goodness. I’m pooped.”

I fall to the ground at Tom’s feet. All eyes land on me. I shrug, not caring. Soon, Emma follows my example and sits beside me.

“David, you sit out for now too. I have a feeling these guys will give us a good show,” says Tom.

“Yeah, jealously vs. arrogance,” David murmurs under his breath. I turn towards him, my brow furrowing in confusion, waiting for him to elaborate. He pats me on the shoulder and shakes his head. I think about reading his mind, but decide against it.

Colton and Logan walk over to the wall, where an assortment of weaponry is located and pick out two similar looking swords. The only difference I notice is the color of the handles. Logan’s is black, while Colton’s is gold.

They walk to the center of a mat and face each other, swords pointed out, crossed in an x formation.

“Begin,” says Tom.

Logan reacts first, swinging his sword out towards Colton. Colton steps back, out of the sword’s range. Lunging forward, he retaliates, swinging the sword in the opposite direction. Logan deflects the blow. The sound of metal on metal resonates through the room and I flinch each time the swords connect. I don’t like watching them fight. I’m afraid one of them is going to get hurt. Instead, I watch their feet: always apart, one usually in front of the other. This sort of fighting requires fancy footwork.

Which means it’s not for those of us who are clumsy.

Uh oh.

They start incorporating kicks and punches into the fight. I can tell by their expressions, that this isn’t just a practice. I lean towards David to ask him about it.

“Are they mad at each other or something?”

“I don’t know, Ryanne.”

I can tell by his tone that he isn’t telling me something. He can’t look me in the eyes. I close my eyes and reach into my thought box, and searching for David.

I can’t believe she doesn’t know. She’s so oblivious.

“Oblivious to what?” I ask.

“What?” Realization dawns in his eyes. “Are you reading my mind?”

“Well, you won’t tell me anything!”

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZABCDEF… He’s screaming the alphabet at me? Who screams the alphabet at someone? I push his thoughts back and lock them up. Spoil sport.

“Fine, fine. I can’t hear you anymore. You’re obnoxious, do you know that?”

I hear the sound of a whistle blow behind me. Tom steps over me and moves between the two boys, stopping the fight and separating them.

“Ok, that’s enough for now.” The boys continue to glare at each other. Logan walks away first, puts his weapon up, and walks out of the room. Colton follows soon after.

David gets up and helps Emma and me to our feet before walking us down the stairs, towards our room, to change out of our work-out clothing. Emma’s room is right next to mine. We smile at each other before entering our rooms. I grab a pair of khaki shorts and a green sweat jacket and walk to the bathroom. Five minutes later, we both come out in clean clothes and go search for the guys.

I hear the sound of two people arguing and walk into the room and find Logan and Colton still fighting. David is leaning back in a new chair, arms folded behind his head, feet crossed, and a smile plastered on his face.

“What the heck is going on between them?” I ask Emma. She turns to me to reply, but David interrupts.

“Ryanne! Emma!” He jumps out of his chair and basically yells at us. Both of us jump back, startled, at his loud tone. Logan and Colton stop arguing and turn to us, with forced smiles.

David walks up and puts his arm across Emma’s shoulders, “Would you two lovely ladies care you join us for a movie?” I swear I see her blush.

“What movie?” she looks up at him, smiling. They are close in height; Emma is a couple of inches shorter.

“What would you like to watch?”

“Something scary.”

I groan. Hearing it, both David and Colton laugh. Logan walks past Colton, brushing his shoulder in the process, and goes over to grab a movie. David drags Emma to the couch and they sit down near each other. I am the only one not sitting down, so everyone turns and looks at me. The only open seat is between Logan and Colton. I walk over reluctantly, not wanting to watch the movie, but not wanting to be a coward and do something else.

“If I have nightmares, I’m blaming you,” I tell Colton.

He chuckles and puts his arms around my shoulders, pulling me towards him. I let him because I know I will need something to hide behind.

Emma has no problem watching the movie. She even laughs at some points. I, however, barely see a single minute of the movie. It is horrible. Colton’s arm tightens around me every time I cringe into his shoulder. I hear the sounds of a saw, bones breaking, and a collective ‘ouch’ from the group around me. Then nothing. It is quiet. The movie is over. I slowly lift my head and find everyone looking at me smiling.

“So, Ryanne, did you enjoy the movie?” asks Logan.

“Oh, yeah. Let’s watch it again!” I sarcastically reply.

We hear the sound of footsteps running down the hallway. All of us turn and look at the door, Tom runs by the room and then a couple of seconds later, turns back.

“There is a disturbance in the woods. Get ready. We need all of your help.” When no one moves, he yells, “Now.” Jumping up, we all run to our rooms. Once in my room, I grab my shoes, put them on, and grab a hair tie. Throwing my hair into a ponytail, I hear my door being thrown open. Colton runs into my room and thrusts a sword at me.

“Take this.”

“I can’t. I don’t know how to use that. I’ll probably injure myself more than anyone else.” He steps towards me and puts a hand on my cheek, brushing his thumb across my cheekbone.

“Please. Just take it,” he pleads. I slowly tear my eyes away from the sword and look up at him. His green eyes stare into mine, begging me to take the weapon. I don’t know why, but I find myself moving closer to him. Hesitantly, I reach forward and grab the weapon from his hands. The cold metal feels too heavy under my grip. My arms aren’t attuned to carrying something like this.

He is standing so close; my heart starts racing as I continue to look into his eyes. His hand slides from my cheek to the back of my neck, leaving a tingling trail beneath his touch. He searches my eyes, not seeing any form refusal, he begins to lean in. He is going to kiss me! I follow his movements and lean towards him. My eyes start to close when I hear someone hit the door as they run into my room.

I jump back, distancing myself from Colton. He doesn’t turn around to see who was at the door; his eyes remain on me the entire time. Trying to keep my blush at a minimum, I lean around him and see David standing at the door, breathing heavily.

“We need you two outside. There are lots of people coming.” He says and then quickly leaves the room. I brush past Colton out of the door. That can wait.

Halfway down the hallway, Colton grabs my elbow and turns me around to face him.

“Ryanne.” Standing on the step above me, Colton is even taller than he usually is. I have to really arch my neck to look at him.

“We have to go help.”

Walking down two more steps, so we’re closer in height, he says, “You have to stay with me at all times. They are probably coming for you.”

When I agree, Colton grabs my wrist and pulls me down the stairs. We run through the kitchen and out the backdoor, joining everyone else. I have only been with these people for a short time, but I already love them. They care about me, just as much as I do them. I haven’t had someone care for me like this in a while.

Tom turns to us and says, “We are going to head into the woods and draw them away from the house. Claire put an enchantment up, so they shouldn’t be able to find it anyways, but just to be safe…” He stops and looks at Emma and me, “I want you girls to stay with at least one of the guys. You aren’t as experienced as they are with fighting. Keep together and try to not split up.” He turns and looks at everyone again. “I don’t know how many are out there. Claire is on her way home to help. Someone stay with Ryanne at all times. They are most likely coming to find her and we can’t let that happen.” I feel all eyes move to me.

Tom looks towards the trees, we can hear people coming. “Are you guys ready?” No one says anything, but we know what we have to do. I want so fiercely to protect these people around me. Tom starts walking into the woods and I am the first one to follow.

After walking for about ten minutes, I begin to wonder where they are. I can hear them all around us. Twigs are snapping in every direction and the sound of branches and leaves brushing together and being pushed aside sounds throughout the forest.

Ahh, there they are. “To the right,” I tell Tom as I catch someone’s thoughts.

One man bolts out from the trees and runs straight toward Tom. Tom is prepared for the attack though. Their swords clash together a couple of times, before Tom is able to knock it free, sending it crashing to the ground. He hits the man on the head with the handled end of the sword, causing him to fall to the ground. Seconds after that, all hell breaks loose.

Tom, Logan, David, and Colton, form a circle around Emma and I and take on the attack by themselves. They are able to disarm and knock the first couple of men out, but soon they are outnumbered and surrounded. I am getting mad. I have to do something. If we have any chance of getting out of this, we have to move and Emma and I have to fight.

We share a knowing look, for we know what has to be done. Without looking at the guys, Emma and I jump out of the circle and run straight towards a couple of men, surprising them with our attack. The surprise only lasts a couple of seconds. Breaking out of their trance, they run towards us, weapons drawn.

I brandish my weapon out. Not really sure what in the world I am doing. I just hope that I connect with something. The man trips on a tree root and falls towards me; my sword sweeps across his chest. Blood starts seeping out of the wound, as he catapults to the ground. I don’t have time to dwell on the fact that I may have just killed someone before another person comes towards me.

This man is smaller than the previous one. He swipes his sword out, cutting me in the arm. Blood starts trickling out of the shallow cut. This awakes a natural instinct for survival. This is a fight or flight situation. I can’t flee, so I’ll fight. Fight with everything I have in me. I am able to disarm this man and knock him out within a couple of seconds. I don’t think they are prepared for me to be able to fight them back.

I look around and see Logan, Colton, David, and Tom all fighting off multiple men at once. It would have been fascinating to watch. Emma is a little farther off, fighting a single person. I feel like I was just thrown into an action movie where everything is choreographed. Only this isn’t a movie. This is real and nothing is choreographed. These people are fighting to kill. It is infuriating to see them try to hurt my friends. When people come towards me, I’m not going to be nice anymore. I’m not going to dwell on any injuries I cause…not now anyways. Hopefully, I can do that later.

Two men come at me at once. I swing my sword out, but don’t connect with anyone. They jump out of the way and stand back into an attack stance. I think back to our training sessions, when Colton said to me, Well, I don’t think we really have to worry about you losing in an attack. Just do some of those flips. You’ll shock anyone enough to get the upper hand.

I drop my weapon and run towards them, their eyes widen in shock. I lunge forward and flip my body through the air twice before landing in the middle of two men. I swing my leg out in a full circle, knocking both of them to the ground. Once they fall, another man comes towards me. I jump up and kick him in the gut with enough force to send him backwards. One of the men that I knocked down previously stands back up and stalks towards me again, slowly, as if deliberating my next move. I have an idea.

I focus my attention, only on him, until I hear his thoughts. I know his every move before he does it. Sidestepping all this attacks, I am able to get an opening after he starts getting frustrated. I punch him in the jaw, causing his lower mandible to slide to the right. His eyes roll into the back of his head and he falls to the ground. I repeat this same move to the other two men who come after me.

With the three men down, I turn around to grab my weapon off the ground. However, I stop short when I take in the sight in front of me. I am surrounded by dozens of people, all looking at me with menacing glares. Their weapons are drawn and look ready to kill. I start backing up until I can move no more. Pressing myself up against a tree, I look around hoping to find something or someone to help me, as the men start swarming towards me.

There are too many of them for me to try and fight off on my own. A feeling of panic sinks in and then I hear a voice: “Ryanne! Run!” yells someone from my right. I turn to see who is talking to me and see Colton run past me, sword out. Running into the group, he hits many men in the process. I can’t move. I can’t take my eyes away from him.

Caught up in the moment, I don’t see the man that gets past him until he grabs me around the waist and starts dragging me into the forest, covering my mouth. He is wearing gloves, so I can’t try and bite him. I try screaming, but no sound comes out. I kick and thrash in his arms, but my struggling is futile. The man is much larger and stronger than me, so he’s able to carry me farther into the forest. This is the nightmare I had before and there is nothing I can do.

After being dragged for a couple of minutes, I start kicking his shins and trying to squirm out of his hold again. I have to do something.

“Stupid girl.” He yells at me, trying to stop my struggling. I feel something stab into my arm. The world around me starts to spin. My limbs refuse to listen to my demands and my whole body goes limp. Throwing me over his shoulder, he carries me father into the forest, surrounding me with darkness.